The Role Model
Remember - the children are watching ...10 total reviews
Comment from Spitfire
Sounds as if the principal has some explaining to do. Of course, it's legal to smoke at his age. Still "No Smoking' signs are probably posted everywhere near the school. Good one, Nevada.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2024
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Sounds as if the principal has some explaining to do. Of course, it's legal to smoke at his age. Still "No Smoking' signs are probably posted everywhere near the school. Good one, Nevada.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2024
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Thank you! :)
Comment from Judith Ann
I can see this in play right now. Boys at their best (worst?), finding trouble on the playground. You painted the picture with only 80 words. Not an easy task. One of the boys was probably my brother. Thanks for writing.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2024
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I can see this in play right now. Boys at their best (worst?), finding trouble on the playground. You painted the picture with only 80 words. Not an easy task. One of the boys was probably my brother. Thanks for writing.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2024
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Ha! Yes, I know a few people who might think that. Thanks for your feedback! :)
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Hahahaha. Do as I say and not as I do. But, by the same token, maybe it takes a naughty principal to understand and properly tend to the naughty boys in his school. Anyway, delightful read...and definitely a SURPRISE in there, big time! Good luck in the contest! xo
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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Hahahaha. Do as I say and not as I do. But, by the same token, maybe it takes a naughty principal to understand and properly tend to the naughty boys in his school. Anyway, delightful read...and definitely a SURPRISE in there, big time! Good luck in the contest! xo
Comment Written 02-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much, Rachelle! Yes, nothing like a little dose of hypocrisy for a funny flash fiction. :)
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Weren't we made
In the same
Vein? Mischievous without intentionality followed me around It was Exciting and never forgotten memories were etched In My head
I think you would be better served with a more
Legible font
,
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Weren't we made
In the same
Vein? Mischievous without intentionality followed me around It was Exciting and never forgotten memories were etched In My head
I think you would be better served with a more
Legible font
,
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Thanks, Tom. I'll update. :)
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Is this one better?
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I think it is, absolutely.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I bet the pocket on fire was a surprise that left them with either an open mouth or eyes that turned larger than usual. Were they carrying smokes being the teacher's pocket caught on fire?
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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I bet the pocket on fire was a surprise that left them with either an open mouth or eyes that turned larger than usual. Were they carrying smokes being the teacher's pocket caught on fire?
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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He had been doing the very thing he punished them for. He is a hypocrite.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I bet the pocket on fire was a surprise that left them with either an open mouth or eyes that turned larger than usual. Were they carrying smokes being the teacher's pocket caught on fire?
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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I bet the pocket on fire was a surprise that left them with either an open mouth or eyes that turned larger than usual. Were they carrying smokes being the teacher's pocket caught on fire?
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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He is doing the very thing he punished them for. He is a hypocrite.
Comment from Julie Helms
This is very funny--and quite an unexpected twist! The old 'do as I say, not as I do." Kids will pick up on it every time. Good luck in the contest and happy New Year! Julie
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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This is very funny--and quite an unexpected twist! The old 'do as I say, not as I do." Kids will pick up on it every time. Good luck in the contest and happy New Year! Julie
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much, Julie! :)
Comment from Douglas Goff
Funny story. Couple of suggestions:
Font is hard to read, especially the capitalized words.
Also:
Usually the epitome of dignity, the principal was flustered. He struggled to his feet and brushed himself down.
(Should down be off? Or is that a UK idiom?)
D
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Funny story. Couple of suggestions:
Font is hard to read, especially the capitalized words.
Also:
Usually the epitome of dignity, the principal was flustered. He struggled to his feet and brushed himself down.
(Should down be off? Or is that a UK idiom?)
D
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Thanks for that feedback about the font, Douglas - I'll update it. Yes, as an Aussie, I speak British English. :)
Comment from RodG
I like this contest entry a lot because (1) you set the scene so well, (2) it's easy to visualize (and hear) the principal, and (3) your ending is both a surprise and believable. Rod
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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I like this contest entry a lot because (1) you set the scene so well, (2) it's easy to visualize (and hear) the principal, and (3) your ending is both a surprise and believable. Rod
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much, Rod - much appreciated! :)
Comment from royowen
The secret of writing these flash fiction works, is that one needs to be skilled in the art of great illuminations, as this is, it's sort of like a prose version of the haiku, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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The secret of writing these flash fiction works, is that one needs to be skilled in the art of great illuminations, as this is, it's sort of like a prose version of the haiku, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much for this kind feedback, Roy! :)
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Most welcome