Comment from Daylily

Excellent

You are very good with cliff hanger endings, Jacob. This story continues well and keeps the reader engaged. We can feel the panic in Angela and Michelle and want to find out what is going to happen.

 Comment Written 26-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2023

Thank you.

Comment from Lea Tonin1

Excellent

No you gotta bunch of stuff going on! Put the a guy in the trunk l o l. No trunks on vans. Damn! Another great chapter, very exciting, moving along with a great pace. It's pretty exciting really what a tangled webl! I'll see no effects with grammar with subject matter punctuation or sentence structure. Another fine entry. I hope you are enjoying your holiday!

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Dec-2023

Thank you Lea.

Comment from karenina

Excellent

Man oh man. (Something my dad used to say)

Michelle and William are nuttier than fruitcakes.

Angela is trapped between them at this point.

Allow William to be "disappeared" -- and run from her past for another twenty years?

Or turn on Michelle as the one who started this whole ball rolling!

William's a sleaze to be using his daughter for profit.

Michelle's a whacko.

Looking forward to seeing how you tie this all up with neat little bows!

Karenina

 Comment Written 24-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023

Thank you Karenina.

reply by karenina on 24-Dec-2023

Welcome!

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I'm still pretty sure the truth is what should happen. I am curious to see what Angela is going to decide. I am liking this story, a lot. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Perhaps it is time to unburden myself, and tell the truth. (you can omit the comma & Yes, Angela, it's time to tell the truth.)

you're daughter would've been taken into care. (your)

If that had happened you wouldn't have had a chance in hell of finding her.' (comma after 'happened' and comma after 'her')

He glares at me before continuing. 'This year I promised myself (comma after 'continuing')

 Comment Written 24-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023

Thank you Barbara.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Oh wow, it goes from bad to worse and that Michelle is really wound up and beastly. What a web of lies and intrigue. In fairness to your skill, I've no idea how this is going to resolve itself, other than prison. There are some edits here, Jacob: "you(r) daughter would have been taken into care.."; "poor Caz who(se) body.."; "sal(iv)a" I think there's another time when you say 'whose' instead of 'who's' so perhaps you could give it a check. Nicely done! Debbie

 Comment Written 24-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023

Thank you Debbie.

Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill

Excellent

Wow, this has moved right along. This is very good.
It is not what I thought was going to happen, but it is better really. Keep it up. Merry Christmas. Karen

 Comment Written 24-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023

Thank you.

Comment from BethShelby

Exceptional

I certainly hope Angela has sense enough to not let Michelle commit murder, because she is capable of it. I was starting to feel sorry for William until he asked for money. I'm sure if blackmail started it would never end, but that doesn't justify murder. I hope Angela stops listening to Michelle. I anxious to know how you are going to handle this.

 Comment Written 24-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023

Thank you Beth, and thank you for the six stars as well. Happy Christmas.