Comment from Lea Tonin1

Exceptional

O m g that was hamburger! Completely gruesome this killer is messed up beyond control beyond anything really! Is who could imagine such brutality and you tell it so very well! I see no this is with grammar punctuating Subject matter or sentence structure it is good and gruesome great job! It only one thing to do about that! I hope you have the best Christmas. The most awesome new year and a wonderful evening!

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023

Thank you so much. I tried - however the research is getting on me. so the next few chapters will be lighter.

Comment from Austin Yu

Good

I usually am not at all into these types of stories with gruesome descriptions of gore. However, you seem to do these types of literature extremely well. As long as it's your passion and you enjoy it, I'm always going to read through every single bit of your writing. Keep on pushing yourself, and happy holidays!

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023

Thank you for your feedback. I am going to write the next chapters a little lighter. keep tuned!

Comment from Julie Helms

Good

Being new here, I stepped into the middle of this story and, wowzer, what a place to step in...like I stumbled upon a crime in progress! You have a gift for the gory and graphic. You've convincingly put us in the mind of a psychopath.

You have quite a mix of present and past tense verbs used throughout. Either would be fine, but not both together.

Thanks for sharing!

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023

Oh jeez I will look into that immediately. Hmm Thank you!