Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Is it post-natal depression? She should be happier than this. And I'm not sure that she's going to be in the drinking mood. Your description of the house and setting is nicely done and I would think there's now going to be some heart to hearts in store. Thanks for sharing, Jacob! Debbie

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023

Thank you Debbie. The story is reaching its end now.

Comment from karenina

Excellent

Oh boy. Now I'm thinking maybe Caz is ill. Perhaps she's not "done in" by the girls or William...maybe Rebecca became an orphan! (I suppose I should be quiet and let the author tell the story, huh?)

LOL. You've got me guessing!

Karenina

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023

Thank you Karenina. The story is reaching its end now.

reply by karenina on 21-Dec-2023

Oh no! Whatever will I do when you've wrapped it up!?

I hope you have another in the wings!

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

Maybe Caz is sicker than these girls realize. At this point I don't get the hint that anyone wants to take Rebecca away from her. Surely we will learn soon what will happen.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023

Thank you Beth.

Comment from Frank Malley

Excellent

This chapter, brief and lacking context (I didn't look for preceding chapters) reads smoothly and succeeds in building a sense of who's who among the characters. What the author succeeds in establishing here is all about character and setting, putting in place the subtle dominoes of motivation that will no doubt become extensions of plot threads as the book continues.
I think that characters' emotions and behavior could be presented more sharply, perhaps by some descriptive details.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023

Thanks.

reply by Frank Malley on 20-Dec-2023

Be well, Jacob. Frank

Comment from Lea Tonin1

Excellent

Look at you, go, you're such a prolific writer. And you have so much imagination and storytelling ability are really quite like it. And you're not one of those in your face writers. You're one of those subtle writers that come out in the end as an explosion of greatness. Great work. I hope you have a wonderful evening. I wish you a great holiday and a happy new year!

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023

Thank you Lea.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I'm wondering what's with Caz myself. I think she'd be grateful for all they've done for her. Something isn't right. I am enjoying this story.

It's idyllic; it wouldn't look out of place in a Grimm fairy tale. (It would or it wouldn't, wouldn't doesn't make sense here.)

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023

Thank you Barbara.