Comment from JSD

Excellent

Lovely, expressive free verse. Well done and congratulations on your good showing in the competition. Night, sleep and dreams - the stuff we all experience and you use imagery so well to convey your ideas.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023

Thank you very much! Xo

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

I enjoyed your point very much. Freeverse is a wonderful form of writing poetry. As far as I'm concerned. I love how you have phrased your wording and I also love how you have presented it to your readers. It looks beautiful on the page. It flows very smoothly when read aloud.

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Dec-2023

Thank you so much!
Xo

Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

Where I fell at dusk <-- i tripped over this line. i think it should be "FALL" (present tense) - or it could be just me lol

wonderful sleepy little poem waking to morning light
i liked the alliteration throughout
nice imagery and smooth flow

thank you for sharing
shelley :)

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Dec-2023

Thank you so much!
Xo

Comment from Nicki Nance

Excellent

This poem has it all - a poignant message, brilliant imagery, easy alliteration. Your presentation adds another dimension of mystery. I am most taken by the title. It turns a normal phase of sleep into a compelling experience.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023

Thank you, I truly appreciate that!
Xo
Jessica

Comment from June Sargent

Excellent

There is nothing worse than feeling trapped between two worlds - the state of consciousness teetering in the edge of unconsciousness. Memories and thoughts flying around like bats...you've captured this state of hypnopompia skillfully with your free verse.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023

I really appreciate that. Thank you!
Xo
Jessica

Comment from Barry Penfold

Excellent

A lovely poem that sort of entrances the reader. I particularly like you or opening stanza. Sets the tone nicely. Well done. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023

I appreciate that, Barry. Thank you!
Xo
Jessica

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

A good use of alliteration adds to the descriptions in your free verse, Jessica. And great descriptions of some of the dreams that can disrupt our sleep. I particularly like the precipice of peril that time in the morning when you are not really asleep and not quite awake. Very nice,
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023

Thank you so much, Valda!
Xo
Jessica

Comment from Lea Tonin1

Excellent

This is very good poem. I really like it. Your first dance at grabbed me! That is the coolest title for a poem i've ever seen too! I am out of sixes or I give you what I have for sure Instead I must send you a virtual six and congratulate you on a fine entry! Best of luck and have a great night!

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023

Thanks so much, Lea! Xo

Comment from Douglas Goff

Excellent

You show a wonderful grasp of the English language with your strong use of descriptive action words

The sweet spot:

Breaking dawn,
shatter.
I await your waking light.
(That brought it together. )

Good luck in the Free Verse
Contest!
D

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023

Thank you so much, my friend!
Xo

Comment from Lisasview

Excellent

What the heck!!! A word I do not know of... so think you so very much for that... Well, I probably hade heard of that but goodness just never use it in every day conversation,
I really enjoyed your poem....
Lisa

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023

Thank you, Lisa!
Xo
Jessica

reply by Lisasview on 08-Dec-2023

You are most welcome Jessica,
Lisa