The Monster Under the Bed
Be wary when you no longer fear the beast7 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
That was a clever turnaround. I enjoyed your poetry.
For a really good free source of poetry go to Pinterest it is the motherload. You only need mention them in your author's notes. Karen
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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That was a clever turnaround. I enjoyed your poetry.
For a really good free source of poetry go to Pinterest it is the motherload. You only need mention them in your author's notes. Karen
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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Thank you
Comment from kiwigirl2821
I like the way you address this subject. When I was a kid, I used to never let my hand dangle, afraid of what may be hidden under the bed. Come to think of it, I still am. Thank you for writing and good luck.
Kiwi
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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I like the way you address this subject. When I was a kid, I used to never let my hand dangle, afraid of what may be hidden under the bed. Come to think of it, I still am. Thank you for writing and good luck.
Kiwi
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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I never let my arm dangle either. So glad you enjoyed.
Comment from jim vecchio
This was a spooky, original idea for the free verse contest. Just one small concern: Last Line, Stanza 1: should "scorn" be "scorned"? Otherwise, that was a good effort and nice twist at the end.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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This was a spooky, original idea for the free verse contest. Just one small concern: Last Line, Stanza 1: should "scorn" be "scorned"? Otherwise, that was a good effort and nice twist at the end.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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You are correct. "Scorned" is better, thank you.
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Thank you for writing!
Comment from JSD
Intriguing and thought-provoking writing bi like the structure of this and the repeated phrase. It's all tied together satisfyingly. Just, do you mean 'midst' instead of 'mist' near the end?
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Intriguing and thought-provoking writing bi like the structure of this and the repeated phrase. It's all tied together satisfyingly. Just, do you mean 'midst' instead of 'mist' near the end?
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Thank you for pointing out the error. I couldn't get the phrase out of my head as I wrote so I repeated it. Glad to see it was affective.
Comment from Wendyanne
ooh how scary! Even as an adult my mum always insisted on my stepdad checking under the bed for any monsters lol. The imagery is very vivid and scary! Good luck.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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ooh how scary! Even as an adult my mum always insisted on my stepdad checking under the bed for any monsters lol. The imagery is very vivid and scary! Good luck.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Thank you
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness this is a scary write as our fear turns us into a monster as we lose control of ourselves through the terror in our mind, a fun post, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Oh my goodness this is a scary write as our fear turns us into a monster as we lose control of ourselves through the terror in our mind, a fun post, love Dolly x
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Thank you
Comment from kiwisteveh
Interesting twist, literally as the two change places. We usually think of the monster under the bed as being something unreal and thus not harmful except perhaps psychologically. Here the monster has real power and doesn't like being scorned (Shouldn't that be 'scorned' in your poem too?)
Did you really mean 'in your mist'? Or is that possibly a typo for midst or even mind?
Steve
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Interesting twist, literally as the two change places. We usually think of the monster under the bed as being something unreal and thus not harmful except perhaps psychologically. Here the monster has real power and doesn't like being scorned (Shouldn't that be 'scorned' in your poem too?)
Did you really mean 'in your mist'? Or is that possibly a typo for midst or even mind?
Steve
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Thank you for pointing out the errors. And I didn't expect the end myself so it was a twist for me as well.
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Ha! That happens a lot with my poems as well!