Spectre
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Window"This is book two of a trilogy book 1 "Ghost"
16 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I like that line in your opening poem - The trails of the past link to the future -but sometimes the past is haunting, as in your case, Lea. Some positive steps with your night out with a new friend, and a job trial. I totally agree with you about Nature giving us of her best to help to restore, us. Well written,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2024
  |
I like that line in your opening poem - The trails of the past link to the future -but sometimes the past is haunting, as in your case, Lea. Some positive steps with your night out with a new friend, and a job trial. I totally agree with you about Nature giving us of her best to help to restore, us. Well written,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 13-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2024
-
Valda thank you again! Yes that's great inside! I completely appreciate you. Your comments, your fine rating and for your time. I hope for you and yours. This holiday is a great one.I'll let you come away, smiling. Thanks again!
Comment from estory
The language in this narrative was fresh and poignant, tinged with subdued emotion, and a subtle intracacy of images. You begin with this stage setting of your damaged and broken relationship with your mother, which seems to leave you isolated and a little hollowed out. Then there is trip to the mountains which seem to be a solace, an oasis of peace in the tumult of the world. Again there is a jump to this scene with a friend in a social space with a hypnotists show. The relationships here seem anonymous and fragile, there is this sense of trembling reaching out but no real concrete connections. It ends with this jarring scene of pain and uncertainty. Overall it captures the tumultuous sense of society we have today, and the individual's shaky place in it. I liked the imaginative scene setting, and the crisp freshness to the language. estory
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
 |
The language in this narrative was fresh and poignant, tinged with subdued emotion, and a subtle intracacy of images. You begin with this stage setting of your damaged and broken relationship with your mother, which seems to leave you isolated and a little hollowed out. Then there is trip to the mountains which seem to be a solace, an oasis of peace in the tumult of the world. Again there is a jump to this scene with a friend in a social space with a hypnotists show. The relationships here seem anonymous and fragile, there is this sense of trembling reaching out but no real concrete connections. It ends with this jarring scene of pain and uncertainty. Overall it captures the tumultuous sense of society we have today, and the individual's shaky place in it. I liked the imaginative scene setting, and the crisp freshness to the language. estory
Comment Written 11-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
-
Wow, what amazing review you gave?I'm totally flattered, and thank you so much! The book is written in kind of a funky way. I wanted it to be different from others. In the sense of format. I start with a poem and then I start talking in the present. And when the italics change I'm talking about the past I write past present. So let people know and then I come back to the President again. Well, basically, I'm giving a temperature check how unveiling before I write it. And how I feel after I write it and in the middle the story of my life continues.My first book is called "Ghost".This is book two Spectre. If you wish. Feel free to go into my portfolio and have a read if you like. It's the unedited version, so you might find some funky, little typos and stuff along the way. True honor to receive such a fine review in the it was awesome rating. I'm especially glad that you liked it. Thank you for your time. I hope you have the most amazing holiday. I hope that you and yours are well.Thank you again!
-
This has potential. Stick with it. Write on! estory
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very nicely told. Good work.
The drive is always a vision of beauty almost unreal. - A comma after 'beauty' would make it read better.
edge of desert like conditions. - (desert-like)
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
|
Very nicely told. Good work.
The drive is always a vision of beauty almost unreal. - A comma after 'beauty' would make it read better.
edge of desert like conditions. - (desert-like)
Best wishes.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
-
Hi Wayne! Thanks so much, it is fine. Review is always insightful and great suggestions every time you have an e l r which I appreciate so much! Most of all i'm glad you'd like it! Thanks for your time once again and reading an offering your awesome thoughts. I really hope that you and yours have the best holiday too. And that your night is amazing. Thank you.Talk to you soon Wayne! Lol
Comment from royowen
I guess the natural beauty of the things around reveal how things ought to be, rather than who they are, the demons that persist inside are the result of being in an normal unliveable situation which cam plague us for years, nightmarish internal living, beautifully written Lea, blessings Roy
Typo : My stepbrother(')s inheritance
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
|
I guess the natural beauty of the things around reveal how things ought to be, rather than who they are, the demons that persist inside are the result of being in an normal unliveable situation which cam plague us for years, nightmarish internal living, beautifully written Lea, blessings Roy
Typo : My stepbrother(')s inheritance
Comment Written 11-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
-
Hello Roy @ yes, I do. Like the juxtaposition from where I come from and into the mountains, it's complete opposite increase, completely different emotional state and an environmental state. Who are thank you to for your time for your great rating, always great thoughts. If I don't say it later, I see it now. I hope that you ignore me the most wonderful holiday and then all your nights are grant, thank you!
-
Bless you
Comment from LJbutterfly
I always hold my breath waiting for the horrible thing that always happens. This chapter was a delight to read. Your new friend proved to be a good friend who helped you have an enjoyable evening. Then, you were hired by a fast food restaurant. All good news. Now, there's a crash and scream. Great cliffhanger. See you in the next chapter.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
|
I always hold my breath waiting for the horrible thing that always happens. This chapter was a delight to read. Your new friend proved to be a good friend who helped you have an enjoyable evening. Then, you were hired by a fast food restaurant. All good news. Now, there's a crash and scream. Great cliffhanger. See you in the next chapter.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked this one I tried to leave a reason to turn the page for sure. Even though all events are true I have to take a break somewhere in there. Thank you again. I appreciate all your comments and I'm glad you enjoyed this one. I hope you have an awesome evening!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I liked reading this. It made sense from beginning to end. I only noticed one fragment of a sentence toward the very end:
One night I was sleeping on the hard couch, for once no nightmares.
When a loud crash and a scream awoke me....
I think you could just say:
One night I was sleeping on the hard couch, for once with no nightmares,
when a loud crash and a scream awoke me....
I guess the word 'bonus' in slang where you were would mean 'excellent.'
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
|
I liked reading this. It made sense from beginning to end. I only noticed one fragment of a sentence toward the very end:
One night I was sleeping on the hard couch, for once no nightmares.
When a loud crash and a scream awoke me....
I think you could just say:
One night I was sleeping on the hard couch, for once with no nightmares,
when a loud crash and a scream awoke me....
I guess the word 'bonus' in slang where you were would mean 'excellent.'
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
-
Thank you great suggestion I appreciate that! All suggestions and changes and editing is all worth gold to me How do I learn it? Not this way? Thank you my friend I hope you have an amazing night!
Comment from Jim Wile
So glad you took the weekend off, Lea. A break was probably very welcome to you, and it sounds idyllic where you were.
In the story, it seems like you finally had a couple of good weeks beginning with the fun time at the kids' center with your new friend, coupled with a new job that started out well, but by the tone of the beginning remarks, and the last line of the narration, it seems like you are headed for more rough times. Why can't the good times last for you? Ugh! So unfair.
Dying to hear more! - Jim
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
|
So glad you took the weekend off, Lea. A break was probably very welcome to you, and it sounds idyllic where you were.
In the story, it seems like you finally had a couple of good weeks beginning with the fun time at the kids' center with your new friend, coupled with a new job that started out well, but by the tone of the beginning remarks, and the last line of the narration, it seems like you are headed for more rough times. Why can't the good times last for you? Ugh! So unfair.
Dying to hear more! - Jim
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
-
A lot of the trails I went through after I left home where pure ignorance not knowing what to do is what not to do in many ways however. It's always I appreciate You're review you always have gift such amazing ones! Your comments and your kind heart Are amazing to me I hope your night is great!
-
Well, how would you know what to do? You were somewhat naive and lived a very sheltered life, none of it your fault. I hope you aren't too hard on yourself about making a few mistakes here and there.
-
I was though I have eased off overtime. Understanding myself helps. Thank you again for your compassion and your empathy!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this addition with us. You left a fantastic hook at the end. I can't wait to see what the crash is.
The next morning I made the call and spoke with the restaurant manager. (The following morning, 'following and add the comma')
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
|
Thank you for sharing this addition with us. You left a fantastic hook at the end. I can't wait to see what the crash is.
The next morning I made the call and spoke with the restaurant manager. (The following morning, 'following and add the comma')
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
-
Thank you Barbara I went ahead and changed that thank you so much! I thank you also for reading and for your review one such as you is a privilege to receive thank you again!
Comment from EILEEN LAW
forgiveness trust - needs "forgiveness and trust"
I love your creativity - your shattered innocence almost feels like naivety. However as I know better, the pain is all that is known. It flows from your heart to the tips of your fingers finding pen to put to paper. flow freely and live in the freedom.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
|
forgiveness trust - needs "forgiveness and trust"
I love your creativity - your shattered innocence almost feels like naivety. However as I know better, the pain is all that is known. It flows from your heart to the tips of your fingers finding pen to put to paper. flow freely and live in the freedom.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
-
Thank you again lady!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
You have the most delicious knack for enticing your readers to NEED to read your next chapter. It's more than just a desire, it's a NEED. First, you bring us relief --a reprieve from the horrors past that includes a new NICE friend, others your age engaging in FUN activities, a very normal-seeming night-- then you raise us a little higher with the promise of a job. And then, WHAM! Something amiss above your head...and that's where you leave us. Like I said: masterful.
Also, I am finding your daily poems becoming more and more deep and soul-wrenching and spot-on in their creativity and CLARITY every day. You continue to blossom in so many ways, Lea. It's a beautiful process to watch. I'm enjoying it very much.
Just a couple spags, Sweetie:
muck that's one of the reasons I **apprecnature** so very much. It brings me back to the core of myself.
More stories fly ***,*** more lies, more deception.
he explained**ed** belong to his father.
**just as** EVEN MORE festive **as** THAN the outside but **, more so**[delete].
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
|
You have the most delicious knack for enticing your readers to NEED to read your next chapter. It's more than just a desire, it's a NEED. First, you bring us relief --a reprieve from the horrors past that includes a new NICE friend, others your age engaging in FUN activities, a very normal-seeming night-- then you raise us a little higher with the promise of a job. And then, WHAM! Something amiss above your head...and that's where you leave us. Like I said: masterful.
Also, I am finding your daily poems becoming more and more deep and soul-wrenching and spot-on in their creativity and CLARITY every day. You continue to blossom in so many ways, Lea. It's a beautiful process to watch. I'm enjoying it very much.
Just a couple spags, Sweetie:
muck that's one of the reasons I **apprecnature** so very much. It brings me back to the core of myself.
More stories fly ***,*** more lies, more deception.
he explained**ed** belong to his father.
**just as** EVEN MORE festive **as** THAN the outside but **, more so**[delete].
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
-
Thank you, my darling friend. You're reduced, meaning very much to me, and you always have such great suggestions. Great comments and always keep me standing. I thank you for that I thank you for your review and your fine rating!