Saving Mr. Calvin
Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "Interlude"Golf's legacy and future
11 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Well, if they are so far into the future, I think they would have advanced beyond cell phones and Google and Zoom. But I don't have any suggestions, except maybe they'd be more open to time travel stories. Perhaps you could explain more than just the "Chinese" which puts a black mark on the entire country/people. I'm guessing there was a patent infringement and the manufacturing company tried to make the suit themselves?
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Well, if they are so far into the future, I think they would have advanced beyond cell phones and Google and Zoom. But I don't have any suggestions, except maybe they'd be more open to time travel stories. Perhaps you could explain more than just the "Chinese" which puts a black mark on the entire country/people. I'm guessing there was a patent infringement and the manufacturing company tried to make the suit themselves?
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Actually, this story takes place only 9 years in the future, so I think Google and Zoom might still be around then. Who knows, though, as fast as technology advances these days?
We will be getting the full story of what happened with the Chinese and the motors in the next chapter during the Zoom call and how unprofessionally they handled the situation. They deserve to be cursed out for what they did. I think I will change it to say "that damn Chinese company" though.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a very interesting chapter. Convincing people you are a time traveler is difficult, so they picked things no one else knew. The problem that ruined the swing suit before could still be a problem. But, of course, you are writing the story so you can be sure it isn't.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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This is a very interesting chapter. Convincing people you are a time traveler is difficult, so they picked things no one else knew. The problem that ruined the swing suit before could still be a problem. But, of course, you are writing the story so you can be sure it isn't.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Carol. This was a challenging chapter to write from both Kevin's and Kenny and Abby's perspectives. I had to think how I would attempt to explain something as fantastical as this without sounding like a crackpot and also how I would receive such news without thinking the teller was completely nuts.
You are correct about the problem with the swing suit still being a problem, but we'll see how that gets handled soon.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Wow, this is quite complex but you explain it well, Jim, and make the whole scenario with Kevin and Ernie seem almost credible. Your strands are beginning to unite because we suspect that the suit will now be resurrected and the ultimate simulator is becoming a very real proposition. I have no idea what a "dysprosium" is:( But this is all ticking along nicely. Your story is flawlessly told and your excellent dialogue continues to build on these pioneering characters, creating the ultimate in a golfer's dream. Well done, Jim! Debbie
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Wow, this is quite complex but you explain it well, Jim, and make the whole scenario with Kevin and Ernie seem almost credible. Your strands are beginning to unite because we suspect that the suit will now be resurrected and the ultimate simulator is becoming a very real proposition. I have no idea what a "dysprosium" is:( But this is all ticking along nicely. Your story is flawlessly told and your excellent dialogue continues to build on these pioneering characters, creating the ultimate in a golfer's dream. Well done, Jim! Debbie
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Thanks for your great review, Debbie.
Dysprosium is a rare earth metal with atomic number 66 on the periodic chart, mined only in China. It is used in alloys to improve the magnetism of electric motors (strengthen them) and for other things. This will be described further in the Zoom call in the next chapter.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I really enjoyed this chapter, I think because we're pulling all the time travel together to make something for the future. And, finally, people from two time periods will intersect and work together on something they are passionate about.
Good dialogue, Jim. I don't know how I would react if I were part of this conversation, but I'm open minded enough that I think I would at least take the next step.
Now I have to read "Sometimes a Great Notion", lol!
Well told, Jim.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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I really enjoyed this chapter, I think because we're pulling all the time travel together to make something for the future. And, finally, people from two time periods will intersect and work together on something they are passionate about.
Good dialogue, Jim. I don't know how I would react if I were part of this conversation, but I'm open minded enough that I think I would at least take the next step.
Now I have to read "Sometimes a Great Notion", lol!
Well told, Jim.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Thanks so much for the great review and the 6 stars too, Pam. I tried to picture from Kevin's POV how to try to convince people of such a strange occurrence without their thinking you are nuts, and also from Kenny and Abby's point of view in how to respond to such an outrageous proposition as what Kevin revealed to them. This was a fun chapter to write.
Did it quickly become obvious that this chapter was different from the others in that it was written in 3rd person omniscient versus all the rest being 1st person? I wanted to make that very clear with the title of the chapter and the italics so that the reader wouldn't be confused.
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I didn't even notice, but isn't that a good thing?
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As long as it wasn't confusing to the reader, I guess it is just fine. One reader warned me about changing POV--that it confuses readers--but I think it's done quite often in novels these days, and as long as it's made clear that it's intentional (or not even noticed), then it seems fine to me.
Comment from Lea Tonin1
The golf wing suit and a new golf course, and all of the cool ideas is bound to make a top notch course. Don't worry, golf will be here until the end of time!
Again, you write with such proficiency, clear and concise. No BS and you got some awesome characters too! You have set the stage perfectly. I'm enjoying going along with you! Again grammatically perfect I must say definitely intelligence and talent in this submission! I hope you have a great day
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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The golf wing suit and a new golf course, and all of the cool ideas is bound to make a top notch course. Don't worry, golf will be here until the end of time!
Again, you write with such proficiency, clear and concise. No BS and you got some awesome characters too! You have set the stage perfectly. I'm enjoying going along with you! Again grammatically perfect I must say definitely intelligence and talent in this submission! I hope you have a great day
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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What a nice review! Thank you, Lea. Until the end of time, huh? Well, I hope in heaven too, so I'll be able to enjoy it again.
Wanna hear a golf joke?
Two husbands and their wives were playing golf together when one of the husbands hits a particularly bad shot and it comes very close to hitting the other fellow's wife right in the head.
"You idiot," said the irate husband. "You nearly beaned my wife with that shot!"
"Dreadfully sorry, old boy. Here, take a shot at mine."
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Lmao lol! Cute! All things are possible in heaven you'll play there too!
Comment from royowen
I love characters intersecting each other, not only does it connect all your characters, but I found that they all know each other, this is testing my ability to hang on to the story, no relaxation here, beautifully written, Jim, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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I love characters intersecting each other, not only does it connect all your characters, but I found that they all know each other, this is testing my ability to hang on to the story, no relaxation here, beautifully written, Jim, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Roy. It doesn't get any more complicated than this (although there are still a couple of surprises in store later). Abby especially is skeptical of what Kevin claimed because her mind wasn't inhabited the way Kenny and E.J.'s were. It will take a while until she becomes convinced.
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Great stuff
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Well, they maybe able to get the suit and revive the entire situation. I want to caution you on switching POV. It' a tricky process.
Very long pause as Abby and Kenny stared at each other. (If they're on the phone, Kevin would have no idea what they're movements or facial expressions are. We're in Kevin's POV. Maybe it's a facetime call or something. You can't switch POV without notifying your readers.)
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Well, they maybe able to get the suit and revive the entire situation. I want to caution you on switching POV. It' a tricky process.
Very long pause as Abby and Kenny stared at each other. (If they're on the phone, Kevin would have no idea what they're movements or facial expressions are. We're in Kevin's POV. Maybe it's a facetime call or something. You can't switch POV without notifying your readers.)
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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This chapter was purposely written in 3rd person omniscient, meaning we can see what each character is doing and thinking. This one is not just in Kevin's POV. That's why I called it "Interlude" (a period or event that comes between two others and is different from them) without a chapter number. That's the only time I do it in the novel, and it was done for the specific purpose of seeing what all the characters are thinking about this unique occurrence of someone entering the mind of another. It's also why I put it in italics--to differentiate it from the rest of the story.
Do you think I need something further to let the reader know that this chapter is different from the rest?
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If you choose to write in the third person omniscient, stay in that mode throughout the whole book. Sometimes you may forget and limit your description to the thoughts of one character; correct your stance and include insights into the other people in the scene, as relevant to your story.
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I think the modern tendency in novels today does not rule out sections in a different POV from the main one used in the story. I think as long as you make it clear that's what you are doing and don't overdo it, readers won't get confused.
Sometimes it's the only reasonable way to see what other characters are thinking.
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You're the author. I only quoted a rule.
Comment from JSD
Brilliant Jim. Did not see that coming! Of course, perfectly possible if your most recent time travel was only twenty-odd years ago. I'm excited again to know what is next. Thank you!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Brilliant Jim. Did not see that coming! Of course, perfectly possible if your most recent time travel was only twenty-odd years ago. I'm excited again to know what is next. Thank you!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thanks, John. We'll get a few more details about the suit production problem in the next chapter. Glad there are still a few surprises left. Still have a few to come.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
"Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives." announcer Ed Prentiss said in 1965 as the new serial was introduced. And now near fifty years later, you continue on.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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"Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives." announcer Ed Prentiss said in 1965 as the new serial was introduced. And now near fifty years later, you continue on.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thanks, I guess. This was a fun chapter to write. I tried to think of how I would respond if I were Kenny getting news of this nature. It was also fun thinking how Kevin could try to persuade him and Abby it was real and not to hang up on him.
Comment from Paul Manton
Atomic Number 66 eh? Well, that's not a word I expected to read on this site, Jim. This is a terrific piece of dialogue at its most logical - and about something that isn't!
I tried putting myself in Kenny and Abby's place and seeing if Kevin would convince me. He did it so well I gave your dialogue six stars. I don't do that very often!
Well done.
Paul
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Atomic Number 66 eh? Well, that's not a word I expected to read on this site, Jim. This is a terrific piece of dialogue at its most logical - and about something that isn't!
I tried putting myself in Kenny and Abby's place and seeing if Kevin would convince me. He did it so well I gave your dialogue six stars. I don't do that very often!
Well done.
Paul
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Well, that's indeed an honor, Paul, for which I thank you very much. I tried to think of how I would take news like that. Abby is still a bit skeptical as we will see, but even that will get turned around.
We'll be hearing a little more about the dysprosium during that Zoom call. That part took a bit of research with a lot of Google searches for exactly what I wanted, but dysprosium filled the bill.
Many of those details that Kevin provided to Kenny about being in his mind came from my other novel Some Call It Luck, so I didn't have to invent all that for this story.
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Great job!