Reviews from

Scenes at a Third Party

Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Scene at a Third Party 24 "
A third party for President 2024

8 total reviews 
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
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The unexpected just happened. This completely weird story just got weirder. The weirdness quotient just elevated to an unbelievable level, I may soon be weirded out.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023
    Gird your loins!
reply by nomi338 on 18-Oct-2023
    I already have
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hahaha, Bill, this is absolutely mayhem. I love it. It's crazy humour at its very best. How to do it, I don't know, but you have perfected the art. Now onto the next bit. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023
    Thank you, Ulla.
Comment from BethShelby
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I understand MauMau's injury. I think he's the one that got is eyebrow ripped off and I guess he wants priest for last rites,
but why the gypsy? Did I miss something?

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023
    I just he would be frantic thinking about the Gypsy in The Wolfman. The priest from The Exorcist.
Comment from Michele Harber
Excellent
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Your script is funny but, in a script full of un-subtle humor, I got a kick out of the few more subtle jokes, like "rollin' around on the floor like kids in schoolyard"/"He started it." I enjoy your use of dialect, which helps define and differentiate your characters. I also appreciate the example of dry humor: "I also need an ambulance and --- a gypsy --- and a priest." I'll look forward to the next installment.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
    Thank you, Michele, for your informative review.
reply by Michele Harber on 17-Oct-2023
    You're welcome.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
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Your names and misnames are superb. I love the way Bull calls out for 'Weirdo' and then doesn't know who he's interviewing. And MauMau's mortally attacked by, I assume, a zombie.The police are already completely out of their depths! Mad but great fun! I feel you're taking us all for a ride here, Bill! Thanks for sharing Debbie

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
    Thank you, Debbie has following this.
Comment from lyenochka
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Lol. Not sure a gypsy and priest can be ordered from a police officer. Hope the PA will be able to contact a brain surgeon fast.
It's thoughtful of the "Bull" to order coffee for everyone.

Manioff. Go on in. (Maninoff)

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
    Come ON, Bill !!
reply by lyenochka on 18-Oct-2023
    I thought since they all speak a dialect, it could be Weirdo just mispronouncing Pons' last name.
Comment from royowen
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I think you've created a menagerie of wild men, all with seperate ways of thinking to put the proverbial collective flies in the ointment Bill, I think you've done well with this mix of chapters, good job Bill, er Bull, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
    Thank you, Roy. I have more actors to introduce, so I better tailor these down some.
reply by royowen on 17-Oct-2023
    Or kill them off heh heh
Comment from Lea Tonin1
Excellent
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Wow!! Cool! How exciting was that? That was a quick fire scene with great imagery. Really cool dialogue too, makes it extra believable! I also really like how you lay this out with clear separation. No issues with who is with nice font changes and bold text.
I see no issues with grammar esthetics, sentence structure punctuation or subject matter. I find this to be quite interesting and good luck. And I hope you have the best day!

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
    Thank you, Lea, for the thorough review of this scene. Bill