A Particular Friendship
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "More River Fun"We meet Lizzy who has just come out of the convent
9 total reviews
Comment from Beejay
Oh dear, Lizzy should£ have had such happy times/ memories of the brook, but the brothers didn 't allow her to have that. Such a vivid memories...what a childhood!
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Oh dear, Lizzy should£ have had such happy times/ memories of the brook, but the brothers didn 't allow her to have that. Such a vivid memories...what a childhood!
Comment Written 20-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your involved review. The next chapter is even funnier.
Comment from Don De Leon
I liked the point of view and, for particularly personal asides, the transition to Lizzy's internal thoughts. Your strong voice paints a vivid picture of her world and the people in it.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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I liked the point of view and, for particularly personal asides, the transition to Lizzy's internal thoughts. Your strong voice paints a vivid picture of her world and the people in it.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your appreciative review. Welcome to my autobiography world. It's been a bit painful to write, but a lot of fun.
Comment from JSD
There's a beautiful nostalgia about the way you describe these moments. The innocence of children playing and taking risks is heart-warming and takes me back to my boyhood. Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023
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There's a beautiful nostalgia about the way you describe these moments. The innocence of children playing and taking risks is heart-warming and takes me back to my boyhood. Well done.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your sweet review. I'm glad it touched you
Comment from aryr
Oh what a life, we weave, Liz. Lizzy leaves a tangled web that she has taken care of. Timmy, Teddy, Trudy and Dody and of course Lizzy climbed the tree above the creek, suffered through the manure, skated via the cracks and managed many more adventures. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessings n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2023
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Oh what a life, we weave, Liz. Lizzy leaves a tangled web that she has taken care of. Timmy, Teddy, Trudy and Dody and of course Lizzy climbed the tree above the creek, suffered through the manure, skated via the cracks and managed many more adventures. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessings n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 15-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your delightful review. I'm glad you appreciated it.
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Most welcome, Liz.
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***Big hug***
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Hug back at you!!!
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A warm feeling
Comment from lyenochka
Oh my! What a lot of adventures and physical punishment. It was a generation that did that more. And I think the parents that were frightened at almost losing a child tended to mete out worse physical punishments which was probably a confusing message of love.
But God certainly watched over you all considering all the dangers you skirted while playing!
from her year younger raging (her younger?)
Why no [one] ever fell to their death
the wrong short cut taker (shortcut)
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2023
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Oh my! What a lot of adventures and physical punishment. It was a generation that did that more. And I think the parents that were frightened at almost losing a child tended to mete out worse physical punishments which was probably a confusing message of love.
But God certainly watched over you all considering all the dangers you skirted while playing!
from her year younger raging (her younger?)
Why no [one] ever fell to their death
the wrong short cut taker (shortcut)
Comment Written 14-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your delightful review. I'm glad you appreciated it.
Comment from BethShelby
I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to write this in first person. It would flow so much smoother that way, but it is your decision. You seem to have a really happy childhood with a lot of kids to play with and an understanding and loving mother. I was an only child and grew up only around adults which is why I read so much and got my pleasure for reading about other kids having fun.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2023
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I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to write this in first person. It would flow so much smoother that way, but it is your decision. You seem to have a really happy childhood with a lot of kids to play with and an understanding and loving mother. I was an only child and grew up only around adults which is why I read so much and got my pleasure for reading about other kids having fun.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your involved review. I read to cope. Did you read Nancy Drew & the Hardy Boys. I've noticed they've upgraded so the cars are up to date...lol. I told someone else I would try the first person to see how it feels. Thank you.
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Yes, I have all those book stored someone in my garrage. LOL
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LoL
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is a very good story. The ice skating should have brought back only good memories but because of situations, it's not.
I still struggle reading the random quotation marks. I understand what you're attempting to do. I'm not sure it's working. I would like to know what a publisher or an editor says about it. In all the research I've done on writing dialogue nothing like this has been addressed.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2023
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This is a very good story. The ice skating should have brought back only good memories but because of situations, it's not.
I still struggle reading the random quotation marks. I understand what you're attempting to do. I'm not sure it's working. I would like to know what a publisher or an editor says about it. In all the research I've done on writing dialogue nothing like this has been addressed.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2023
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I wonder. I'm just not sure how the "I" comes out. It seems overkill. Maybe people would be ok with the plethora of the pronouns, "I" & "We". I will try it on for size & see how it feels
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Do what's comfortable for you. I am wondering about writing the story and actually use dialogue. Have the different people involved speak.
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Now that might give it more variety. I'll see what works. Thank you
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I am working on the next chapter. It is coming along quite well. I think many will be pleased. Once again, thank you for your kind guidance.
Comment from strandregs
I caught myself I stopped breathing.
Too close to home".
Two places you missed a word.
I don't know how someone clean feels reading this.
For me it is difficult. :-))Z.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2023
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I caught myself I stopped breathing.
Too close to home".
Two places you missed a word.
I don't know how someone clean feels reading this.
For me it is difficult. :-))Z.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2023
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I know how you feel. I've gotten creeps reading someone elses stuff on here. I do feel good writing about it. Maybe someone who has never faced their shit will heal through this. That's always been my goal in any writing, especially the Be Wee With Bea series for me to heal & others to heal.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
The brook should have been all happy memories for Lizzy, but the pervert brothers made sure there were some bad memories also. The tree climbing sounds dangerous. It could have been a bad memory if someone had fallen.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2023
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The brook should have been all happy memories for Lizzy, but the pervert brothers made sure there were some bad memories also. The tree climbing sounds dangerous. It could have been a bad memory if someone had fallen.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your loyal review. I know, it's a wonder we safely climbed that tree more than once