The Hunter Becomes The Prey
What a catch!11 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Douglas,
It seems both these people are predators. The girl has learned young, it she is just in her late teens. This is kind of sad for her. It could be she is like this because she was abused. You never say how old the man is. I think the older he is the worse he is. Though it does seem he is more lusty that predatory.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Congrats on being the recognized writer.
Have a great day.
Joan
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Hi Douglas,
It seems both these people are predators. The girl has learned young, it she is just in her late teens. This is kind of sad for her. It could be she is like this because she was abused. You never say how old the man is. I think the older he is the worse he is. Though it does seem he is more lusty that predatory.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Congrats on being the recognized writer.
Have a great day.
Joan
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Thanks Joan. I left a lot of grey area on this one. It was intentional but maybe that is why it did not do well. Regardless, fun write and I appreciate your review!
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Hi Paul,
I like trying to fill in the gaps.
You?re welcome.
Comment from Enrico Langfordino
Another nail in us fellows coffin Douglas. A neat and tidy write of negative aspirations of woman. Some men never learn. Great, thoughtful title to. Turning it about ! or, on its head !
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
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Another nail in us fellows coffin Douglas. A neat and tidy write of negative aspirations of woman. Some men never learn. Great, thoughtful title to. Turning it about ! or, on its head !
Comment Written 09-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
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Ha! This was twisted!
Comment from LJbutterfly
Oh My! I thought I was reading about an evil man to had a devious sexual plan for a young girl. However, he got caught in a killer's web and realized he would never make plans again. What a creative, surprise ending.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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Oh My! I thought I was reading about an evil man to had a devious sexual plan for a young girl. However, he got caught in a killer's web and realized he would never make plans again. What a creative, surprise ending.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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Thank you. It did not do well, but it was a fun one to work on.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness, this is a dangerous woman luring men into her lair and then killing them. Not so many of these kind of women about, but they do exist. This is a scary post, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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Oh my goodness, this is a dangerous woman luring men into her lair and then killing them. Not so many of these kind of women about, but they do exist. This is a scary post, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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Thanks ! My writing does lean dark.
Comment from Wendy G
Very well constructed. Your notes speak an undeniable truth. Your poem shows a reversal of the way some men take advantage of women by spiking their drink. Imaginative and creative. Best wishes.
Wendy
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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Very well constructed. Your notes speak an undeniable truth. Your poem shows a reversal of the way some men take advantage of women by spiking their drink. Imaginative and creative. Best wishes.
Wendy
Comment Written 06-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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Turned the old tables!!!
Comment from karenina
Whoa. I think he picked the wrong woman if he thought he had an easy mark. Nice "dark" twist having him take the sip and suddenly his feelings are ripped from lust to survival.
Sardonic author's comment:
"Most people only get the chance to meet one serial killer."
Clever!
Karenina
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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Whoa. I think he picked the wrong woman if he thought he had an easy mark. Nice "dark" twist having him take the sip and suddenly his feelings are ripped from lust to survival.
Sardonic author's comment:
"Most people only get the chance to meet one serial killer."
Clever!
Karenina
Comment Written 06-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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Yes, my works do lean dark!
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In the best possible way!
Comment from JJJeeve
Hiya, I thought the twist at the end was very clever. The rhyming also made the poem flow smoothly! You have told the story clearly in a beautiful way.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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Hiya, I thought the twist at the end was very clever. The rhyming also made the poem flow smoothly! You have told the story clearly in a beautiful way.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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Thank you. Generally a four star is not great on this site. A five star is average. But, I do appreciate your kind words JJJ.
Comment from Mia Twysted
Wonderful. I love the way she pulls him in, and then, just when he thinks he is going to get lucky, the truth of the matter is revealed, and he has seen his last day.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2023
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Wonderful. I love the way she pulls him in, and then, just when he thinks he is going to get lucky, the truth of the matter is revealed, and he has seen his last day.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2023
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Ha! Unexpected? I used the word lure in relation to the male so people might suspect he was the villain. I think this one turned out great!
Comment from Sally Law
So sorry for no six. This gave me the chills, mystery poet. So many stories true and in crime fiction begin like this. It's still going on because Mickey Finn works like a charm.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sally Law
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2023
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So sorry for no six. This gave me the chills, mystery poet. So many stories true and in crime fiction begin like this. It's still going on because Mickey Finn works like a charm.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sally Law
Comment Written 05-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2023
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You?ve given me plenty of sixes! What I need is those prayers and good wishes. (Yeah, I rhymed it)
I like that you best wished me even though you know not my name.
Blessings!
Comment from RodG
Wow! You tell quite a story in these short stanzas. We certainly understand the guy's desire for this woman. Then she turns the tables with a Mickey. I am not a fan of mono rhyme. Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading this narrative poem.
Rod
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2023
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Wow! You tell quite a story in these short stanzas. We certainly understand the guy's desire for this woman. Then she turns the tables with a Mickey. I am not a fan of mono rhyme. Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading this narrative poem.
Rod
Comment Written 05-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Rod. I am no poet so help me out. This would be a mono and not a triplet? Appreciate you!
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Rewrite this as prose. I bet you could tell the story in 200 words.