One Man's Calling
Viewing comments for Chapter 53 "One Man's Calling, ch 53"Following God
11 total reviews
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. It never ceases to amaze me how you use spirituality with your characters. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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This is another excellent chapter. It never ceases to amaze me how you use spirituality with your characters. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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Thank you. You bless me with your review.
Comment from BethShelby
I love the way you had this play out. No one was seriously hurt and it is unlikely these men would be further inclined to harm Ben. There aren't many who have that kind of assurance that God will protect them.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2023
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I love the way you had this play out. No one was seriously hurt and it is unlikely these men would be further inclined to harm Ben. There aren't many who have that kind of assurance that God will protect them.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2023
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Thank you.
Ben is special, but I'm trying to keep him real, and humble - a thin line to straddle.
Comment from lyenochka
That's a powerful way to engage in battle - honoring the people who are created in God's image despite the evil intent and asking God to save them. I like how the pastors and priests rallied to protect Ben and his friends!
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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That's a powerful way to engage in battle - honoring the people who are created in God's image despite the evil intent and asking God to save them. I like how the pastors and priests rallied to protect Ben and his friends!
Comment Written 04-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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Thank you. I appreciate your review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Yes, sir, we mustn't ass/u/me, for a person's presumptions can only get them into trouble. LOL. Yet, it's one of the hardest things not to do. Way to build the tension and have me sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for a battle, then releasing the pressure without incident. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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Yes, sir, we mustn't ass/u/me, for a person's presumptions can only get them into trouble. LOL. Yet, it's one of the hardest things not to do. Way to build the tension and have me sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for a battle, then releasing the pressure without incident. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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smiley face here
Thank you.
Comment from Jim Wile
Well, that was a perfect resolution to the problem in an exciting chapter, Wayne. Perhaps now, Ben can really get down to business without the threat of that gang always after him to bring him down.
Seems like Ben's time in SF is probably drawing to a close, and it will be time to continue his mission somewhere else. He can't continue any farther west unless he goes to Hawaii. Have you thought about where the story is leading and what the climax will be? Ben has been on a mission and has learned a great deal about people and has helped convert and save many a lost soul. What will be the eventual outcome, and is that clear in your mind yet as the author? You don't need to provide an answer to me; it's just food for thought. - Jim
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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Well, that was a perfect resolution to the problem in an exciting chapter, Wayne. Perhaps now, Ben can really get down to business without the threat of that gang always after him to bring him down.
Seems like Ben's time in SF is probably drawing to a close, and it will be time to continue his mission somewhere else. He can't continue any farther west unless he goes to Hawaii. Have you thought about where the story is leading and what the climax will be? Ben has been on a mission and has learned a great deal about people and has helped convert and save many a lost soul. What will be the eventual outcome, and is that clear in your mind yet as the author? You don't need to provide an answer to me; it's just food for thought. - Jim
Comment Written 02-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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Thank you.
And yes. In fact, the book is finished - has been since 2-3 weeks into the project. Ben indeed leaves SF. The ending is different. I'd be happy to tell you if you don't mind losing the suspense.
Question for you - In the previous sections, I have chapters that follow people who Ben has impacted. I omitted them from FanStory posts as they did not advance the plot and would prob'ly be called 'distractions' by some. Well, coming up, I have a chapter for each D.L. Moody and Billy Sunday. I have extracted from their historical records 12-1500 words of their sermons, along with minor comments related to the plot. FanStorians certainly would not miss a lick if I did not post them. What do you think?
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Did you get my addition that the Moody and Sunday posts might be deemed 'preachy'?
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Nah, don't tell me; I'd rather be surprised (unless you want my input before presenting it.)
The answer to your question depends on what your plans are for the story. If you are contemplating publishing it, then I would include them to get feedback from people on whether or not it is worthwhile to include. FanStory input has been helpful to me in the past about whether or not something should be included.
On the other hand, if you don't plan on doing anything else with the story, and your feeling is that most will think it's unnecessary, then continue to leave it out.
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Thanks. I've already had some criticisms. Two chapters back-to-back might cost me reviewers; even though I found the research to be fun and interesting
Comment from JSD
Beautifully written. Action described excitingly as usual, but framed by Christian hope and prayer, like some sort of angel's wings wrapped around the whole event. Brilliant!
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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Beautifully written. Action described excitingly as usual, but framed by Christian hope and prayer, like some sort of angel's wings wrapped around the whole event. Brilliant!
Comment Written 02-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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Thank you. I don't know about brilliant, but at least different.
(smiley face here)
Comment from Wendy G
Good work, a fine write detailing the fight, and Ben's integrity in praying for the families of the thugs, and then just sending them off on the next train. If the situation had been reversed, the gang of six would not have shown such grace. Great prayer, and no we can't be presumptuous, but He will often defend His holy name and those who stand up for Him. The thing is to know His will and pray acordingly.
Wendy
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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Good work, a fine write detailing the fight, and Ben's integrity in praying for the families of the thugs, and then just sending them off on the next train. If the situation had been reversed, the gang of six would not have shown such grace. Great prayer, and no we can't be presumptuous, but He will often defend His holy name and those who stand up for Him. The thing is to know His will and pray acordingly.
Wendy
Comment Written 02-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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Thank you. You are absolutely right.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Loved the prayer. Who says Christian writing has to be dry stuff? Okay, a lot of it is, but not this writing of yours. I will continue to read when I can, as I follow a policy of one-for-one mainly. Your writing is good.
Karen
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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Loved the prayer. Who says Christian writing has to be dry stuff? Okay, a lot of it is, but not this writing of yours. I will continue to read when I can, as I follow a policy of one-for-one mainly. Your writing is good.
Karen
Comment Written 02-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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Thank you.
Just so you understand me a little. I rarely review poetry, especially the short ones. They're usually too hard for me to intelligently comment.
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Yes, it is a harsh rule, that we use 150 characters for a 17 syllable poem. Quote the bible, offer a prayer, give them a chunk of a story, there are many things you can do. If
you want to be reviewed, you must return the favor. Karen
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I've thought I might offer reviewers an option of laying on the 'x' for as many as it takes, but feared being banned by mgmt.
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Yes, I got a note from tom about my doing that, So, I sing a song, tell a joke, talk about how to can pickles, whatever,
occurs to me, Karen
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This seems a bit bloodier than what the Lord would want. I hoped the bad guys would be so upset by the prayer they would just give up and go home. I assume all the police were fighting for the bad guys. I thought a few of them were good guys and would help Ben.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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This seems a bit bloodier than what the Lord would want. I hoped the bad guys would be so upset by the prayer they would just give up and go home. I assume all the police were fighting for the bad guys. I thought a few of them were good guys and would help Ben.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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Thank you.
I tried to keep the fighting as simple as possible.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Another nasty little tussle was taken care of and more bad guys were dispatched thanks to the strong beliefs of Ben and his allies in God. Having all the "men of the cloth" on standby was a nice touch.
A few items you may want to look at . . . I got the feeling you may have rushed to get this posted. On your way to another beautiful vacation spot, lol?
Maybe I'm being picky, but in the second paragraph you talk about "the three Colosimo gang members, accompanied by three more who appeared to be San Francisco policemen in civilian clothes . . ." Three paragraphs later: "The gang of six, Vincent Colosimo, his two Chicago friends and the three San Francisco civilian-clad policemen . . ." You're repeating what you just said and adding nothing to the content of the story. Could you say, "Colosimo's gang of six" and leave it at that?
I like that they didn't attack while they were praying - even the thugs are unclear on the protocol there:-)
trigger pulls, not triggers pulls
his previous life's knife attacking skills, served him well (why do you have a comma there?)
signal for Clyde's union men to to run (remove a "to")
Is Ben off to another city after San Francisco? See you soon.
xo
Pam
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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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Another nasty little tussle was taken care of and more bad guys were dispatched thanks to the strong beliefs of Ben and his allies in God. Having all the "men of the cloth" on standby was a nice touch.
A few items you may want to look at . . . I got the feeling you may have rushed to get this posted. On your way to another beautiful vacation spot, lol?
Maybe I'm being picky, but in the second paragraph you talk about "the three Colosimo gang members, accompanied by three more who appeared to be San Francisco policemen in civilian clothes . . ." Three paragraphs later: "The gang of six, Vincent Colosimo, his two Chicago friends and the three San Francisco civilian-clad policemen . . ." You're repeating what you just said and adding nothing to the content of the story. Could you say, "Colosimo's gang of six" and leave it at that?
I like that they didn't attack while they were praying - even the thugs are unclear on the protocol there:-)
trigger pulls, not triggers pulls
his previous life's knife attacking skills, served him well (why do you have a comma there?)
signal for Clyde's union men to to run (remove a "to")
Is Ben off to another city after San Francisco? See you soon.
xo
Pam
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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Wow. Looks like I rushed it. Thank you.
You guessed it, but .... (smiley face here)