Plain Old Me
Simple things make me happy.10 total reviews
Comment from tempeste
Ciao mystery poet, you now have 7 votes.
I'm a simple gal too. I love animals and you mentioned some of my all-time favourites from the pretty pink flamingo to the shimmering peacock.
Chimps get aggressive in adulthood, lion cubs are cute but they grow so fast and far too big.. I have to disagree on the squirrel monkey seeing I had one for nearly 11 years. They are extraordinary creatures.
I'm not one that dares when it comes to food either. Caviar ( which you didn't mention) and sushi are just not my thing. Nor roasted insects of any kind.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
  |
Ciao mystery poet, you now have 7 votes.
I'm a simple gal too. I love animals and you mentioned some of my all-time favourites from the pretty pink flamingo to the shimmering peacock.
Chimps get aggressive in adulthood, lion cubs are cute but they grow so fast and far too big.. I have to disagree on the squirrel monkey seeing I had one for nearly 11 years. They are extraordinary creatures.
I'm not one that dares when it comes to food either. Caviar ( which you didn't mention) and sushi are just not my thing. Nor roasted insects of any kind.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
-
Many, many thanks for a great review!Th
Comment from Julie Lau
Your rhyming is faultless and so is your rhythm. I love your obvious acquaintanceship with birds and animals A humorous and well-written poem: you deserve to well in the competition.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
|
Your rhyming is faultless and so is your rhythm. I love your obvious acquaintanceship with birds and animals A humorous and well-written poem: you deserve to well in the competition.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
-
Thank you very, very much for a great review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I enjoyed reading your verse which is fun with its clever rhyming (particularly liked iridescent/incessant) and its interesting insight into you and your imagination. It fits the brief well and intrigued me throughout. Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
|
I enjoyed reading your verse which is fun with its clever rhyming (particularly liked iridescent/incessant) and its interesting insight into you and your imagination. It fits the brief well and intrigued me throughout. Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
-
Thank you for an excellent review, Debbie, and your good wishes!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
I like this because it's plucky and funny and INTERESTING, and the rhymes are real and flowing rather than contrived. I also liked the fact that, if I wanted to know what makes you happy, I had to read right to the very last sentence...and ps, it was worth it! Nicely done, Mystery Writer. Good luck in the contest!!
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
|
I like this because it's plucky and funny and INTERESTING, and the rhymes are real and flowing rather than contrived. I also liked the fact that, if I wanted to know what makes you happy, I had to read right to the very last sentence...and ps, it was worth it! Nicely done, Mystery Writer. Good luck in the contest!!
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
-
Thanks for your wonderful review!
-
Thanks for the wonderful read!!!
Comment from royowen
I really like this poem, with a great smattering of variable meter in the poem, articulate and skilful in its delivery, expressive and focussed in its theme, well rhymed, beautifully written good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
|
I really like this poem, with a great smattering of variable meter in the poem, articulate and skilful in its delivery, expressive and focussed in its theme, well rhymed, beautifully written good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
-
I worked on the meter! Thank you, Roy!
-
Bless you
Comment from dellsworthpoet
A very nice poem. The flow is good. The rhymes are unforced. The narrative stays on point. The images are clear and lead undoubtedly to the conclusion. I like the list poem format and the relatively fast pace. The presentation is pleasing.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
|
A very nice poem. The flow is good. The rhymes are unforced. The narrative stays on point. The images are clear and lead undoubtedly to the conclusion. I like the list poem format and the relatively fast pace. The presentation is pleasing.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
-
Thank you for an excellent review.
-
You are welcome.
Comment from Lisasview
LOVE the long neck that goes well with you rather long poem.... Which I did so enjoy...
Interesting to read what makes you happy... Very nice... seems like you are basically a very happy person...
Lisasview, new to this site
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
|
LOVE the long neck that goes well with you rather long poem.... Which I did so enjoy...
Interesting to read what makes you happy... Very nice... seems like you are basically a very happy person...
Lisasview, new to this site
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
-
Thank you for a good review, and basically, I am happy1!
Comment from Sarah Tummey
I enjoyed reading this. I like the ordinary too. I'd rather have bangers and mash than sushi or anything like that! Pigeons are my favourite birds because they remind me of my dad, who does the most amazing pigeon impression!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
|
I enjoyed reading this. I like the ordinary too. I'd rather have bangers and mash than sushi or anything like that! Pigeons are my favourite birds because they remind me of my dad, who does the most amazing pigeon impression!
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
-
Thank you very much. I might like bangers and mash if I knew what they were!
-
Haha, sorry. I'm English. Bangers and mash is the British nickname for sausages with mashed potatoes.
Comment from Paul Manton
Hello Ace Rhymer!
My name is Paul and you might have met me before.
Your rhyme is absolutely brilliant, but some parts of it are missing - some words, some syllables and some lines! If it weren't so brilliantly constructed, I would never have known.
Technical: compacted quatrains, iambic/anapaestic two beats to the line, rhyming abcb -great for story telling - and for delivering punch lines at journey's end. You have chosen to make each stanza four quatrains long.
At least, that was your intention.
Under the superb picture of the flamingo, two of your first stanza lines have flown into the distance!
viz: 'The peacock's also brilliant with/a tail that's iridescent/. . ./ . . ./?
The next couplet is missing! So we need a couplet ending with something like: essence, pheasant, evanescent, guess at (!), pleasant (better), crescent
and so on. And 'as wren that sings to me.' is a bit clunky.
Next point: 'And sadly when they're grown up, WEIGH (lose 'they' or it doesn't scan.)
'Nor birds' nest soup . . . needs four more syllables, to line it up with what follows.
meat - potato girl is easier to read aloud - your choice -
but I recommend you knock out the repetition in the final quatrain:
try 'That I am quite contrary' for line 2 - unless you prefer the repetition anyway.
I haven't spent half an hour on this because your poem is poor; your poem is exceptional and deserves a six - but if you take me seriously, after today, sixes are a strong possibility.
Great job.
Paul
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
|
Hello Ace Rhymer!
My name is Paul and you might have met me before.
Your rhyme is absolutely brilliant, but some parts of it are missing - some words, some syllables and some lines! If it weren't so brilliantly constructed, I would never have known.
Technical: compacted quatrains, iambic/anapaestic two beats to the line, rhyming abcb -great for story telling - and for delivering punch lines at journey's end. You have chosen to make each stanza four quatrains long.
At least, that was your intention.
Under the superb picture of the flamingo, two of your first stanza lines have flown into the distance!
viz: 'The peacock's also brilliant with/a tail that's iridescent/. . ./ . . ./?
The next couplet is missing! So we need a couplet ending with something like: essence, pheasant, evanescent, guess at (!), pleasant (better), crescent
and so on. And 'as wren that sings to me.' is a bit clunky.
Next point: 'And sadly when they're grown up, WEIGH (lose 'they' or it doesn't scan.)
'Nor birds' nest soup . . . needs four more syllables, to line it up with what follows.
meat - potato girl is easier to read aloud - your choice -
but I recommend you knock out the repetition in the final quatrain:
try 'That I am quite contrary' for line 2 - unless you prefer the repetition anyway.
I haven't spent half an hour on this because your poem is poor; your poem is exceptional and deserves a six - but if you take me seriously, after today, sixes are a strong possibility.
Great job.
Paul
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
-
Hi Paul, I appreciate your taking time and wisdom to critique my poem. I wish you had been around in 2016 before I published it. I did not seriously write poetry till I had retired. I agreed with most of your suggested changes and will make edit them in. I think you missed that I had a couplet with "incessant" for "iridescent." Thanks again. I'm always glad for your suggestions.
-
That couplet didn't print out in the version I saw.
Check out what's going on there.
Could be a glitch in the system - you could do without that!
Paul
-
Thank you so much. I fixed that, too! I'm guessing I erred in moving it from computer to FanStory! You've been a great help!
-
Welcome my friend.
Just fixed a typo I made in the review!
Paul
-
Smile! Have a great weekend!
-
And you
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a charming write and I loved your well chosen words here, so descriptive and yet it is simplicity you strive for when considering what makes you happy, much enjoyed, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
|
This is a charming write and I loved your well chosen words here, so descriptive and yet it is simplicity you strive for when considering what makes you happy, much enjoyed, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
-
Thank you very much for a great review.