One Man's Calling
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "One Man's Calling, Ch18"Following God
10 total reviews
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. I was sad when I read Ben was dead. I am a believer, so Ben meeting his father in heaven was believable for me.I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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This is another excellent chapter. I was sad when I read Ben was dead. I am a believer, so Ben meeting his father in heaven was believable for me.I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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Thank you for your very kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
I'm glad you returned Ben to life and it good shape as well. I'll be looking forward to seeing what God has in store for him to do in Chicago. I don't know how these friends he's told are going to keep his secret that his has returned.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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I'm glad you returned Ben to life and it good shape as well. I'll be looking forward to seeing what God has in store for him to do in Chicago. I don't know how these friends he's told are going to keep his secret that his has returned.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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Thank you. At least they are true friends and that they have one another to confide in.
Comment from lyenochka
Well, that's one way to resurrect a character! I was surprised he was right back at the same time and place. I was thinking God might have sent him to this time period and have him preach to our world. I guess Chicago would be a good change, too.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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Well, that's one way to resurrect a character! I was surprised he was right back at the same time and place. I was thinking God might have sent him to this time period and have him preach to our world. I guess Chicago would be a good change, too.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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Thank you. I was hoping people would accept it as valid. (the resurrection)
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
If Ben is going to Chicago, he certainly has a difficult mission in front of him. That was a very interesting and believable resurrection through the power of God. I'm looking forward to what comes next.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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If Ben is going to Chicago, he certainly has a difficult mission in front of him. That was a very interesting and believable resurrection through the power of God. I'm looking forward to what comes next.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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Thank you. I appreciate your take on it.
Comment from Wendy G
Well done. He's not finished yet! That was a very clever way to "bring him back to life"! I enjoyed the story and look forward to hearing more about your amazing character!
Wendy
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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Well done. He's not finished yet! That was a very clever way to "bring him back to life"! I enjoyed the story and look forward to hearing more about your amazing character!
Wendy
Comment Written 09-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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Thank you. Ben is as well accepted as was Ohmie.
Comment from Jay Squires
I for one am glad you did not opt for "the light". However accurate it might be, it's overused. This story is a marvelous extension of the other story, a perfect transition. I am soooo happy to have Ben's character continue on. There is a deep spiritual resonance in your series. You should be proud of it. I found a few places you might attend to:
I felt, though, that your calling would be change, [... would be changed (just a slip-up)]
I'm asking that you touch Jay body, [... touch Jay's body ...]
By the time Ben saw Walter into his grave, [I like this transition, Wayne!]
Ben's own funeral was held on that next Saturday. [Ben's own funeral WOULD BE (?) HELD that next Saturday.]
While in prayer, God plainly told him that he'd been buried [Now, I'm really confused about that previous sentence.]
"Oh, how could you not have a funeral. [I don't understand the "you" in this sentence.]
As one, all but Joshua Parnell nearly shouted "Chicago!" back to him. [I'm sorry, Wayne. I don't like the use of "nearly" here. Did they almost shout, but not quite? I think you can find a better choice of word]
Overall, this is an extraordinary challenge following the success of a very well-written story. This just goes to show ... when you don't want to get rid of a character ... don't. I think you've found your calling.
Jay
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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I for one am glad you did not opt for "the light". However accurate it might be, it's overused. This story is a marvelous extension of the other story, a perfect transition. I am soooo happy to have Ben's character continue on. There is a deep spiritual resonance in your series. You should be proud of it. I found a few places you might attend to:
I felt, though, that your calling would be change, [... would be changed (just a slip-up)]
I'm asking that you touch Jay body, [... touch Jay's body ...]
By the time Ben saw Walter into his grave, [I like this transition, Wayne!]
Ben's own funeral was held on that next Saturday. [Ben's own funeral WOULD BE (?) HELD that next Saturday.]
While in prayer, God plainly told him that he'd been buried [Now, I'm really confused about that previous sentence.]
"Oh, how could you not have a funeral. [I don't understand the "you" in this sentence.]
As one, all but Joshua Parnell nearly shouted "Chicago!" back to him. [I'm sorry, Wayne. I don't like the use of "nearly" here. Did they almost shout, but not quite? I think you can find a better choice of word]
Overall, this is an extraordinary challenge following the success of a very well-written story. This just goes to show ... when you don't want to get rid of a character ... don't. I think you've found your calling.
Jay
Comment Written 09-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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What a great review.
Clearly I need to make the timing more clear.
Yeah, 'nearly shouted' doesn't work. grrrr
You have confirmed my gut, Thank you.
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You are welcome, Wayne. I go from the gut as well, feeling that if it strikes me a certain way, the writer probably has lingered there him/herself.
Comment from Jim Wile
Hooray, Ben is back. I'm glad you decided to continue the story, Wayne. He didn't deserve the same fate as Salinger, and now he can continue his mission. Well done! Jim
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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Hooray, Ben is back. I'm glad you decided to continue the story, Wayne. He didn't deserve the same fate as Salinger, and now he can continue his mission. Well done! Jim
Comment Written 09-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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smiley face here
Thank you!
Comment from Mario PIERRE
Interesting story. The premise is well-defined and the plot develops correctly, with good dialogue and clear exposition. I like how you transitioned Ben from heaven to his return to the hole in the canyon. It was seamless. Overall a good story!
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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Interesting story. The premise is well-defined and the plot develops correctly, with good dialogue and clear exposition. I like how you transitioned Ben from heaven to his return to the hole in the canyon. It was seamless. Overall a good story!
Comment Written 09-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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Thank you for your great review.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent prose my friend! This piece captivated my attention throughout the entire story and it is well written and well thought out! I enjoyed reading it!
Thanks for sharing and may God bless you and your family!
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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Excellent prose my friend! This piece captivated my attention throughout the entire story and it is well written and well thought out! I enjoyed reading it!
Thanks for sharing and may God bless you and your family!
Comment Written 09-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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Thank you. I was hoping reviewers would accept Ben's resurrection.
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;-)
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
You got round the problem of 're-birth' after death very well here. It was clever to bring Ben's father into the experience, providing a good transition before the return to life. kay
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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You got round the problem of 're-birth' after death very well here. It was clever to bring Ben's father into the experience, providing a good transition before the return to life. kay
Comment Written 09-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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Thank you. I hoped it would work, but wasn't sure.