Heart Crafted Poems - 2023
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Tainted"Musing of an old man
21 total reviews
Comment from GWHARGIS
I like that there were so many emotions and senses in this. The love, the betrayal, the sadness. Then the pain of the rock and the salt of the tears. It was a visual poem. Visual and emotional. Well done. Gretchen
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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I like that there were so many emotions and senses in this. The love, the betrayal, the sadness. Then the pain of the rock and the salt of the tears. It was a visual poem. Visual and emotional. Well done. Gretchen
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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I appreciate your thoughtfulness and validation.
Comment from jake cosmos aller
nicely done you nailed the poem with this poem about a tragic love affair and a toxic relationship. I can feel the pain, the anguish and the despair of loving someone who is just bad for your soul.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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nicely done you nailed the poem with this poem about a tragic love affair and a toxic relationship. I can feel the pain, the anguish and the despair of loving someone who is just bad for your soul.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Hi Jake, thank you.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the octelle poem for the potlatch challenge. Who doesn't know what a broken heart feels like?
The rhymes and meter didn't seem forced.
the structure makes sense. it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
I Would recommend it.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Excellent entry for the octelle poem for the potlatch challenge. Who doesn't know what a broken heart feels like?
The rhymes and meter didn't seem forced.
the structure makes sense. it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
I Would recommend it.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Gypsy, thank you.
Comment from Bill Schott
This octelle, Tainted, has the proper formatting and finds that the love is less genuine than one had hoped, and the experience now defines the parameters of one's relationship.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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This octelle, Tainted, has the proper formatting and finds that the love is less genuine than one had hoped, and the experience now defines the parameters of one's relationship.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your octelle read well, JLR. I enjoyed reading it. I liked
the image and color scheme. Your repeated lime fit in
perfectly. Great job with the rhymes, too. Your story
told of how one lover was fooled into believing s/he
found true love though it wasn't to be.
Thanks for participating, Jan
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Your octelle read well, JLR. I enjoyed reading it. I liked
the image and color scheme. Your repeated lime fit in
perfectly. Great job with the rhymes, too. Your story
told of how one lover was fooled into believing s/he
found true love though it wasn't to be.
Thanks for participating, Jan
Comment Written 07-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Thank you very much for your validation, Jan. 🙏🙏
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great write for this Octelle challenge JLR. Beneath this cloak of love was not what he was looking for. A different perspective from you, dramatic and descriptive and I loved it. Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Great write for this Octelle challenge JLR. Beneath this cloak of love was not what he was looking for. A different perspective from you, dramatic and descriptive and I loved it. Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 07-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Valda, thank you for noting the shift in my perspective. The six stars are golden and are well received, 🙏🙏🎶🎶
Comment from Sally Law
Wow, this is a little different from you, the writer of love poetry. A great diversion and aptly illustrated. Vivid imagery of the hurtful one. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
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Wow, this is a little different from you, the writer of love poetry. A great diversion and aptly illustrated. Vivid imagery of the hurtful one. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 07-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
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🙃🙃🙃🙏🌹A little twist in life keeps us flexible.
Comment from rjuselius
This is a beautifully written piece of poetry dear jlr! Love can be harsh when you choose the wrong person. Falling in love can be so rewarding with the right person. I wish i had six stars..
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings with hugs,
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
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This is a beautifully written piece of poetry dear jlr! Love can be harsh when you choose the wrong person. Falling in love can be so rewarding with the right person. I wish i had six stars..
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings with hugs,
Rebekka x
Comment Written 07-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
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Rebekka, I will enjoy your vitural intended sixers. 😊🎶🎶
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My pleasure entirely dear friend <3
Comment from JT traveller
Once again, another beautifully composed poem. The repetition serves to emphasise your emotions. Great work.
Great flow.
My favourite line,
"Your voice tosses salty mist
that blemishes your soft kiss."
Perfect!
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
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Once again, another beautifully composed poem. The repetition serves to emphasise your emotions. Great work.
Great flow.
My favourite line,
"Your voice tosses salty mist
that blemishes your soft kiss."
Perfect!
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
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JT, I appreciate your thoughtfulness evoked in your comments,
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My pleasure once again.
Comment from lyenochka
You crafted this Octelle poem well and told a story as well about a love that did not match the behavior and words. The metaphor of words that are like rocks hurled from a sling is vivid.
was fools gold, a nasty lure. (fool's)
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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You crafted this Octelle poem well and told a story as well about a love that did not match the behavior and words. The metaphor of words that are like rocks hurled from a sling is vivid.
was fools gold, a nasty lure. (fool's)
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Thank you!