Elevator Phobia
Frighten when there are too many people on an elevator.2 total reviews
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Good story. I think you could improve it by reworking the beginning sentence, a suggestion I make in the spirit of improvement for all us writers. Perhaps something like " I am frightened. The hotel lobby is crowded with attendees for our stamp convention..." or something similar that draws your reader into your emotion more immediately. I Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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Good story. I think you could improve it by reworking the beginning sentence, a suggestion I make in the spirit of improvement for all us writers. Perhaps something like " I am frightened. The hotel lobby is crowded with attendees for our stamp convention..." or something similar that draws your reader into your emotion more immediately. I Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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Took your advice. Thanks for the read, review and suggestion. Appreciated.
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You new opening sentences work much better. Best of luck.
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Thanks for the help.
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You are most welcome.
Comment from Malcolm Rothery
I'm sure we've all had this fear at some point. I had in when travelling up the Empire State Building trying oh so hard not to imagine the yawning chasm beneath my feet.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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I'm sure we've all had this fear at some point. I had in when travelling up the Empire State Building trying oh so hard not to imagine the yawning chasm beneath my feet.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to read and provide feedback. I too shared a similar experience traveling up in the Empire State and in the St. Louis Arch.