The Albatross
A Trijan Refrain poem24 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Yvonne,
Thanks for teaching me this poetic form. I love it, especially the repetition, lines 7 & 8. You tell the story of the baby albatross, vulnerable when left alone while the parents are out getting food for it. Soon enough, it will be strong enough to take that first flight.
I like the finish,
"And soon he'll be a grown-up bird
with all his birdy instincts stirred.
And soon he'll be
And soon he'll be
off on the wing, his nature spurred."
Nicely penned! Superb!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
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Hi Yvonne,
Thanks for teaching me this poetic form. I love it, especially the repetition, lines 7 & 8. You tell the story of the baby albatross, vulnerable when left alone while the parents are out getting food for it. Soon enough, it will be strong enough to take that first flight.
I like the finish,
"And soon he'll be a grown-up bird
with all his birdy instincts stirred.
And soon he'll be
And soon he'll be
off on the wing, his nature spurred."
Nicely penned! Superb!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 18-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review . . . and stars! It's a fun form to write. You should give it a go.
Comment from amahra
What a beautiful observation of this wonderful bird. I had never known of an Albatross. It must be only native to New Zealand. Anyway, I loved the poem. It was so professionally written. Your word choices are astounding.
I watch the baby albatross [I love this as a repeated line.]
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
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What a beautiful observation of this wonderful bird. I had never known of an Albatross. It must be only native to New Zealand. Anyway, I loved the poem. It was so professionally written. Your word choices are astounding.
I watch the baby albatross [I love this as a repeated line.]
Comment Written 18-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
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Thank you for this wonderful review and stars. Much appreciated.
Comment from Lilly Flowers
Thank goodness this has a happy ending. I didn't know where it was going, with him being all alone, and you never know what people are going to write. I'm glad for your notes, it helped me understand why you wrote what you did. Well done. Regards, Lilly
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
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Thank goodness this has a happy ending. I didn't know where it was going, with him being all alone, and you never know what people are going to write. I'm glad for your notes, it helped me understand why you wrote what you did. Well done. Regards, Lilly
Comment Written 18-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
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Thank you for a great review. I never write anything sad.
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are observant, interesting, nature based, descriptive
and creative. Thank you for the author's notes - how wonderful that
you take the time to observe this bird. The poem flows and connects
well. The artwork goes well with the theme and words of this poem.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
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The author's words are observant, interesting, nature based, descriptive
and creative. Thank you for the author's notes - how wonderful that
you take the time to observe this bird. The poem flows and connects
well. The artwork goes well with the theme and words of this poem.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
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It's been fun to see him grow. It will be sad for me when he takes off, but good for him. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
This is lyrical and sweeping; symbolically, to me, it felt like words that were taking flight! I liked it very much. The Author's Notes were a wonderful source of added interest. This was a very enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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This is lyrical and sweeping; symbolically, to me, it felt like words that were taking flight! I liked it very much. The Author's Notes were a wonderful source of added interest. This was a very enjoyable read.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much!
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Totally welcome!!
Comment from lyenochka
You used this form with the shorter refrain lines to really invoke emotion for the plight of the baby albatross. It's interesting how different the various types of birds are in their parenting styles! It's good that he can break free from his loneliness when he flies!
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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You used this form with the shorter refrain lines to really invoke emotion for the plight of the baby albatross. It's interesting how different the various types of birds are in their parenting styles! It's good that he can break free from his loneliness when he flies!
Comment Written 17-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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Thanks, Helen. It will be sad when he does, but good for him. The baby eagle I watched for so long, Spirit, took off and we don't see her anymore.
Comment from aryr
The picture was beautiful of the chick and the mama, damommy. He will fly when he is ready to and not a minute before. His mama still feeds him, perhaps he is just being selfish, she needs to stop and encourage him to fly. Very well done, greatly enjoyed. Hey, what are you doing in New Zealand?
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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The picture was beautiful of the chick and the mama, damommy. He will fly when he is ready to and not a minute before. His mama still feeds him, perhaps he is just being selfish, she needs to stop and encourage him to fly. Very well done, greatly enjoyed. Hey, what are you doing in New Zealand?
Comment Written 17-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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Hahaha. Someone else asked me that. I'm not. I was watching a webcam on Allaboutbirds.com. Thanks for reviewing.
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Oh my, you had me worried there, Yvonne. You are so welcome.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I bet it's fun to check in on this baby albatross daily. It will be great and sad at the same time when he actually leaves. Thank you for sharing this poem with us. I enjoyed reading.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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I bet it's fun to check in on this baby albatross daily. It will be great and sad at the same time when he actually leaves. Thank you for sharing this poem with us. I enjoyed reading.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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It is sweet and sad at the same time. Thanks, Barbara.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is a lovely poem, Yvonne. How frightened the chick must be and anxious for it's mother to return. Soon it will be ready to try flight just to be with her and not be so alone. Wonderful picture and poem. Well done. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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This is a lovely poem, Yvonne. How frightened the chick must be and anxious for it's mother to return. Soon it will be ready to try flight just to be with her and not be so alone. Wonderful picture and poem. Well done. Nancy:)
Comment Written 17-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Nancy.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with a complex style, Yvonne. First of
all, the picture is precious and perfect for your well thought
poem. The style itself worked well--esp the repeats. The rhymes
are super, and the POV of the little bird is well-expressed.
I like the idea of the little bird dreaming of flying--one day
soon that will be reality for him. Your nature/animal poems are
always well done and informative.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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You did a great job with a complex style, Yvonne. First of
all, the picture is precious and perfect for your well thought
poem. The style itself worked well--esp the repeats. The rhymes
are super, and the POV of the little bird is well-expressed.
I like the idea of the little bird dreaming of flying--one day
soon that will be reality for him. Your nature/animal poems are
always well done and informative.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 17-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much!