"The Book of Death"
Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "Die Hard With A Vengeance?"Is the living really alive and living?
2 total reviews
Comment from Yamba Fortunatus I.V
Vivid narrative poetry at its best.
The poem has a sense of urgency to its tone which advances the subject matter of violence and death.
The use of imagery in the text is commendable.
Note (Correction):
Stanza 11, line 8
...since she was the only one with a gun (he instead)
Stanza 12, line 1
...now, as of that wasn't bad enough? (now, as if that wasn't bad enough?)
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2021
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Vivid narrative poetry at its best.
The poem has a sense of urgency to its tone which advances the subject matter of violence and death.
The use of imagery in the text is commendable.
Note (Correction):
Stanza 11, line 8
...since she was the only one with a gun (he instead)
Stanza 12, line 1
...now, as of that wasn't bad enough? (now, as if that wasn't bad enough?)
Comment Written 21-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2021
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I believe that was a rush job I usually and it pretty good but I caught the errors you mentioned plus a couple more.
I think at age 67 dementia starting to take hold!!
Thanks Yamba!
Stay well.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment from Robert Trudel
I think that Story Two is clearer for more impact. It really hits, though I think it would need work in terms of unity. I think you could easily have one poem strictly with the guy and the gun and develop with it. And another poem strictly with the pregnant woman and maybe the father who was left behind. Two different sorts of tragedies.
With respect, I find Story One a bit confusing, speaking of COVID and love and mixing this with Brian and the Mustang.....and a suicide attempt? Also involving mother? I suggest that the ideas behind the Story One are good, but the story needs to be reworked.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2021
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I think that Story Two is clearer for more impact. It really hits, though I think it would need work in terms of unity. I think you could easily have one poem strictly with the guy and the gun and develop with it. And another poem strictly with the pregnant woman and maybe the father who was left behind. Two different sorts of tragedies.
With respect, I find Story One a bit confusing, speaking of COVID and love and mixing this with Brian and the Mustang.....and a suicide attempt? Also involving mother? I suggest that the ideas behind the Story One are good, but the story needs to be reworked.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2021
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Neither one of these are really a story there a true life story incidents the first involving my own son who's a gift of Life donor closing the tragedy.
This is already gotten five and six star reviews by the way.
Thanks for sharing.
Doctor Ricky
1024