Reviews from

Secrets in the Wind

Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "Secrets in the Wind - chap 39"
A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime

16 total reviews 
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Excellent
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Did I miss this one earlier? I see that the secret is getting out of the bag, the lies of Cassidy is coming into the open. You have expressed the emotions well and one can follow them in the dialogues. Good going.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    Sorry for the cut and paste but I am now currently 158 responses behind. I want to make the changes, thank everyone and start fresh. Wishing you a great day.

    Please forgive me for being so far behind on answering reviews, fixing suggestions, and thanking everyone for their kindness. Good thing a birthday only comes once a year. I posted to my family that I was cooking and for the first time in years, my house was over flowing for two days after two days of cooking. Now in three days, Matthew starts filming again and I must cook for them. This woman is tired. Thank you for all your support and kindness.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Excellent
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And we have yet another cliffhanger! The secret is almost out, or half out. Mary knows that Cassidy lied, but she still doesn't know what she lied about. How will she react when she learns that Jon is alive, and how grieved will she be, when she knows what he has turned into?

How can you not notice the deep wrinkles and
-->
How can you not notice the deep wrinkles, and

Cassidy shook her head and glanced toward the sky." What my parents did, what they made me do, was so wrong."
-->
Cassidy shook her head and glanced toward the sky. "What my parents did, what they made me do, was so wrong."

Cassidy shuttered, and a loud sob escaped.
-->
Cassidy shuddered, and a loud sob escaped.

I don't deserve it, but my faith tells me he understands. I am praying he will comfort you and hold you in his arms."
-->

I don't deserve it, but my faith tells me He understands. I am praying He will comfort you and hold you in His arms."

I know he is guarding over Annie,
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I know He is guarding over Annie, [I know some people capitalize pronouns when referring to God, and some don't, but if you do, you'll have to do it consistently throughout your book... I do believe the preferred method is to capitalize references to God. But it's up to you.]

***

This has answered my questions about age disparities. Cassidy is just not as young as I thought she was, but she is young looking.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    Sorry for the cut and paste but I am now currently 158 responses behind. I want to make the changes, thank everyone and start fresh. Wishing you a great day.

    Please forgive me for being so far behind on answering reviews, fixing suggestions, and thanking everyone for their kindness. Good thing a birthday only comes once a year. I posted to my family that I was cooking and for the first time in years, my house was over flowing for two days after two days of cooking. Now in three days, Matthew starts filming again and I must cook for them. This woman is tired. Thank you for all your support and kindness.

    Smiles, Carol
reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 08-Sep-2021
    Please don't worry about anything, and you don't even have to answer this. God bless you! Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from ShirleyT1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Secrets begin to become unhidden. Your well-written words and dialogue do an excellent job in portraying the guilt that has imprisoned a woman for many years. You are a great writer and storyteller.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    Sorry for the cut and paste but I am now currently 158 responses behind. I want to make the changes, thank everyone and start fresh. Wishing you a great day.

    Please forgive me for being so far behind on answering reviews, fixing suggestions, and thanking everyone for their kindness. Good thing a birthday only comes once a year. I posted to my family that I was cooking and for the first time in years, my house was over flowing for two days after two days of cooking. Now in three days, Matthew starts filming again and I must cook for them. This woman is tired. Thank you for all your support and kindness.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Patty Palmer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another cliff hanger! I can't wait until the next chapter to find out how Mary reacts to the news that Jon is still alive after all these years that Mary thought he was dead. Great job!
Patty

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    Sorry for the cut and paste but I am now currently 158 responses behind. I want to make the changes, thank everyone and start fresh. Wishing you a great day.

    Please forgive me for being so far behind on answering reviews, fixing suggestions, and thanking everyone for their kindness. Good thing a birthday only comes once a year. I posted to my family that I was cooking and for the first time in years, my house was over flowing for two days after two days of cooking. Now in three days, Matthew starts filming again and I must cook for them. This woman is tired. Thank you for all your support and kindness.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The emotion Cassidy is feeling has been rendered very clearly in this story. What she has to confess to Mary has troubled her throughout her life and confessing to a lie is even worse. What Mary's reaction will be is a mystery. I am anxious to read the next chapter.

Ralf

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
    Yes, this was a very difficult moment for Cassidy as well as Mary. I hope I emphasized the emotions well enough. Wow, I am thrilled with your review and the stars. Awesome!

    Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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I am glad that the truth, complex as it is will come out. They will all have to work out the way to handle the truth. Cassidy was very young when Mary became pregnant and so wouldn't have been able to do much to help, but she will still feel guilty. As for Jon .... Hmm. Not a nice person. Totally self-focused.
Good writing, and interesting as always. Well done.
Wendy

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
    Yes, Cassidy had no control of her parents making plans and going to live in Italy. I imagine she could have written but as a child her life just moved on to new places, new friends.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Great chapter showing us that connection between the two friends. It seems it will be Mary who can teach and show Cassidy about God's love and forgiveness through her own life.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
    Thanks Helen for stopping by to read this chapter. I appreciate the review. Smiles, Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Carol,

Yep. A very realistic convo. This would not just spill out easily and then the two of them have a cup of tea together and pull out photo albums. I think you've handled this scene really well. I'm waiting for the fireworks - but then, I don't expect that either. Hmmm...

On to the next!

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
    Oh I think their will be fireworks! Liz hasn't entered the picture yet either. She's a pampered and fragile person, I hope she can handle it.
    of course you are reading right now and will discover I have left you hanging. Sorry! Love ya, Carol
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Cassidy honestly thinks she will damage Mary by what she has to confess, but I suggest Mary is made of sterner stuff than any of that. But the fact they've been reunited will be an unbreakable bond to last, she'll get a shock about Jon however. Beautifully written, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
    I think Cassidy, Mary and Liz have a lot to work out, but if anyone will get through it....Mary will. Yes, Mary has fought through a lot and will be the strongest of them all.

    Smiles, Carol
reply by royowen on 29-Aug-2021
    Two emotion charged episodes.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Gripping--thankfully, I see the next is already posted--I'm off ...


"Oh, Mary, I am so sorry." Cassidy shook her head and glanced toward the sky." What my parents did, what they made me do, was so wrong."
ISN'T THIS TOO EARLY TO BE SAYING THIS? SUGG CLOSE CHAPTER WITH THAT LINE AS PRELUDE TO THE REVELATION TO COME.

[tears=>SUGG sobs] racked [sugg omit through] her body. (Sobbing covers the convulsive aspect of crying.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    took your suggestion and moved that one line about what Cassidy's parents had done to the ending. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Smiles, Carol