Traffic
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Complications"With their call stalled, Liz & Linda begin walking
10 total reviews
Comment from Midi O'Rourke
Funny, they are talking about the first idea, not a solution, that comes to mind. At this point they must all know that the actual solution won't include retrieving the car. The make and model of the car makes me smile. A Honda Fit sounds like a car that would break down. They are an interesting group. Well written. It strikes me as funny.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2021
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Funny, they are talking about the first idea, not a solution, that comes to mind. At this point they must all know that the actual solution won't include retrieving the car. The make and model of the car makes me smile. A Honda Fit sounds like a car that would break down. They are an interesting group. Well written. It strikes me as funny.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your engaged review. I'm glad you see the humor. It supposed to be tongue-in-cheek humor. There is a lot of this humor. The 1st part is more serious. It is about them rescuing 10 Native teens. You are welcome to check out the portfolio. There is no need for reviews. Just enjoy.
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Hello Liz, I've decided to read the book. Tongue in cheek humour is the best!
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Excellent
Remember no review necessary..unless you feel compelled...lol
Comment from dellsworthpoet
An interesting scene. The narrative is well paced, the wording flows without obvious bumps. The plot line is easy to follow.
I have no suggestions.
Thank you for sharing. Good read.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2021
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An interesting scene. The narrative is well paced, the wording flows without obvious bumps. The plot line is easy to follow.
I have no suggestions.
Thank you for sharing. Good read.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your engaged review. I'm glad you see the smoothness. We are at the culmination of many adventures based upon the two ladies rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation.. I invite you to read the first 13 chapters in my portfolio about the rescue. Every chapter is suspenseful. There is no need to write a review. Others have done this too. I see there are up to 50+ views. I just want you to treat it like a book you might read to enjoy. ***Spoiler *** Tommy, offers the ladies a place to rest & enjoy some of his cooking. He is on his way to a food festival & there is a traffic jam because of brush fires. The irony is he is the brother of one of the girls who are rescued. Enjoy it if you have the opportunity.
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You are welcome.
Comment from NABattaglia
Super well-written with both descriptions and strong dialogue driving the chapter. This is an excellent excerpt from your book. Thanks for sharing this piece with us!
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2021
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Super well-written with both descriptions and strong dialogue driving the chapter. This is an excellent excerpt from your book. Thanks for sharing this piece with us!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your engaged review.
We are at the culmination of many adventures based upon the two ladies rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation.. I invite you to read the first 13 chapters in my portfolio about the rescue. Every chapter is suspenseful. There is no need to write a review. Others have done this too. I see there are up to 50+ views. I just want you to treat it like a book you might read to enjoy. ***Spoiler *** Tommy, offers the ladies a place to rest & enjoy some of his cooking. He is on his way to a food festival & there is a traffic jam because of brush fires. The irony is he is the brother of one of the girls who are rescued. Enjoy it if you have the opportunity.
Comment from Beejay
I ve only recently been aware of the danger hand signal since it was highlighted in the media just this last month. I never knew something like that existed.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2021
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I ve only recently been aware of the danger hand signal since it was highlighted in the media just this last month. I never knew something like that existed.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your engaged review. That signal could save lives. I thought this was a perfect place to insert it. There are many other consciousness raising facts through out this book.
We are at the culmination of many adventures based upon the two ladies rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation.. I invite you to read the first 13 chapters in my portfolio about the rescue. Every chapter is suspenseful. There is no need to write a review. Others have done this too. I see there are up to 50+ views. I just want you to treat it like a book you might read to enjoy. ***Spoiler *** Tommy, offers the ladies a place to rest & enjoy some of his cooking. He is on his way to a food festival & there is a traffic jam because of brush fires. The irony is he is the brother of one of the girls who are rescued. Enjoy it if you have the opportunity.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Complications
Liz O'Neill you have a clever way to keep us readers to get us more and more anxious to know what is going on. There is one place you talk about the signal did I miss what the signal is?
I found this sentence confusing---
But now they don�¢??t know if the garage is open.
Well I did try doing the thumb in the palm of your hand. Not easy, so I gave up.
So here I'm waiting.
Oh yes there is a part that put a bit of fear in your story----
"Nuh uh, I'm not going anywhere alone, and I wouldn't ask Linda to risk some weird, creepy sort of abduction with me.
Gert
Gert
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Complications
Liz O'Neill you have a clever way to keep us readers to get us more and more anxious to know what is going on. There is one place you talk about the signal did I miss what the signal is?
I found this sentence confusing---
But now they don�¢??t know if the garage is open.
Well I did try doing the thumb in the palm of your hand. Not easy, so I gave up.
So here I'm waiting.
Oh yes there is a part that put a bit of fear in your story----
"Nuh uh, I'm not going anywhere alone, and I wouldn't ask Linda to risk some weird, creepy sort of abduction with me.
Gert
Gert
Comment Written 16-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your engaged review. The signal ( doing the thumb in the palm of your hand) has become the international signal for hostages in trouble. It is especially for the trafficking subjects. It is important that a captive is able to signal someone like you or me sitting in the restaurant and not be obvious to their 'owner'. It creeps me out to think I might be where someone signals me. Where to start. I guess 911. eeeek
Comment from aryr
This was definitely an amazing continuation chapter Liz. I was totally enthralled by the way you provided fantastic details within your writing. You provided so much information. It was greatly enjoyed and very well done.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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This was definitely an amazing continuation chapter Liz. I was totally enthralled by the way you provided fantastic details within your writing. You provided so much information. It was greatly enjoyed and very well done.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your engaged review. I'm glad you appreciated it.
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You are so welcome Liz, well done.
Comment from Mary Shifman
I suppose when I was younger I wouldn't have thought twice about traveling great distances by myself or with a girlfriend. Now days, I wouldn't dream of it. Liz and Linda are fortunate that they found an honest person with a good heart to aid them. My fiction often has a dark slant and I kept waiting for the other shoe to fall, but that's just me. On the other hand, I believe that there are good, honest, dependable people in the world. Tommy appears to be one of them. I only hope the garage owner is too!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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I suppose when I was younger I wouldn't have thought twice about traveling great distances by myself or with a girlfriend. Now days, I wouldn't dream of it. Liz and Linda are fortunate that they found an honest person with a good heart to aid them. My fiction often has a dark slant and I kept waiting for the other shoe to fall, but that's just me. On the other hand, I believe that there are good, honest, dependable people in the world. Tommy appears to be one of them. I only hope the garage owner is too!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad it had the effect I hoped for. This is end of quite the adventures for these ladies. They begin by rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation. You are invited to peruse my first 13 chapters. There is suspense in every chapter. There is no need for a review. Just enjoy it.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is another good chapter, Liz. It does seem to be taking a very long time to get that car fixed. I wonder if the one that looks like Liz's could actually be hers. How long are cars left on the side of the road before they get towed away?
A few suggestions:
1. I don't see the need to break up Tommy's dialogue into separate paragraphs, but maybe you do.
2. "Both Linda(and Liz?) wanted to know what that sign would be."
3. "There may be a problem with this guy, if he is here, to go get your car." = It may be a problem for this guy, if he's here, to go get your car."
I think in natural dialogue, contractions would be used most. You might want to look at that.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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This is another good chapter, Liz. It does seem to be taking a very long time to get that car fixed. I wonder if the one that looks like Liz's could actually be hers. How long are cars left on the side of the road before they get towed away?
A few suggestions:
1. I don't see the need to break up Tommy's dialogue into separate paragraphs, but maybe you do.
2. "Both Linda(and Liz?) wanted to know what that sign would be."
3. "There may be a problem with this guy, if he is here, to go get your car." = It may be a problem for this guy, if he's here, to go get your car."
I think in natural dialogue, contractions would be used most. You might want to look at that.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your review. It's good to see you back. I hope it was a good time away.
Comment from Mabaker12
The girls will be sad to leave Tommy behind and driving their own car, that's for sure. First things first Tommy is a bit concerned that the garage isn't open 24 hrs a day, and they might have been of one 1aaaa well intact
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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The girls will be sad to leave Tommy behind and driving their own car, that's for sure. First things first Tommy is a bit concerned that the garage isn't open 24 hrs a day, and they might have been of one 1aaaa well intact
Comment Written 16-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your engaged review. I like keep everyone in suspense...the next chapter has a weird surprise. & I just noticed a shiny one. My bank is filling fast.
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You are very welcome Miss Liz.
Comment from lyenochka
I like that Tommy was able to share the secret signal with Liz and Linda. Hopefully, they won't have to meet more people to rescue. And hope the garage guy is really there and is a honest person who won't "take them for a ride." Good that Tommy concocted the safest plan.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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I like that Tommy was able to share the secret signal with Liz and Linda. Hopefully, they won't have to meet more people to rescue. And hope the garage guy is really there and is a honest person who won't "take them for a ride." Good that Tommy concocted the safest plan.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your engaged review. Wouldn't it be terrible to be sitting somewhere and have a woman or younger, signaling us they needed help. I wouldn't know where to begin.
I belong to a fb group that posts any missing Native Americans from any where in the US or Canada. There were 17 girls missing in North Dakota in May.
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But if we see the sign, how should we act? Should we report it? Do we take a chance and try to intervene? What if someone gives the sign in order to trap a would-be helper? You see you got me thinking about this!
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I guess we'd notify the authorities or call 911
eeek