Traffic
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "The Brow of the Hill"With their call stalled, Liz & Linda begin walking
11 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I have not read any of your previous chapters, but this one has good action and a mystery, so it is going well. You do not mean (insipid) heat as insipid mean paltry, weak, etc. Expelled is a bit strong, why not just breathed a sigh? Expressive is a bit strong, he was irritated about the closures. Why can't they ask him why he's so upset? You maybe use large words when simpler would be better and you might want to add more dialogue. Best of luck with this.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2021
   |
I have not read any of your previous chapters, but this one has good action and a mystery, so it is going well. You do not mean (insipid) heat as insipid mean paltry, weak, etc. Expelled is a bit strong, why not just breathed a sigh? Expressive is a bit strong, he was irritated about the closures. Why can't they ask him why he's so upset? You maybe use large words when simpler would be better and you might want to add more dialogue. Best of luck with this.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2021
-
Thank you for your review.
You're coming in cold into this story. I've had similar experiences. But fortunately this chapter can stand alone and be appreciated.
We are at the culmination of many adventures based upon the two ladies rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation.. I invite you to read the first 13 chapters in my portfolio about the rescue. Every chapter is suspenseful. There is no need to write a review. Others have done this too. I see there are up to 50+ views. I just want you to treat it like a book you might read to enjoy. ***Spoiler *** Tommy, offers the ladies a place to rest & enjoy some of his cooking. He is on his way to a food festival & there is a traffic jam because of brush fires. The irony is he is the brother of one of the girls who are rescued. Enjoy it if you have the opportunity.
Comment from Carmen Ducharme
Oh my gosh !! Wow what a story and the statistics .I am so glad you added the foot notes what an awful thing .You really never know who you can trust and some people are so eager for their freedom that they do not pay attention they trust all .You especially would never suspect a family member to want to harm you .I would like if you do not mind to say a prayer for anyone who has gone through such tragedy. I pray Lord that you help all and any who have found themselves in this awful situation please let them find peace .Amen ! Thank you for sharing .God Bless!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2021
 |
Oh my gosh !! Wow what a story and the statistics .I am so glad you added the foot notes what an awful thing .You really never know who you can trust and some people are so eager for their freedom that they do not pay attention they trust all .You especially would never suspect a family member to want to harm you .I would like if you do not mind to say a prayer for anyone who has gone through such tragedy. I pray Lord that you help all and any who have found themselves in this awful situation please let them find peace .Amen ! Thank you for sharing .God Bless!
Comment Written 03-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2021
-
Thank you for you involved review. There is actually a fb page called Murdered & missing. At least 4 a day missing are posted. I had to do as you, just post a blanket blessing.
You're coming in cold into this story. I've had similar experiences. But fortunately this chapter can stand alone and be appreciated.
We are at the culmination of many adventures based upon the two ladies rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation.. I invite you to read the first 13 chapters in my portfolio about the rescue. Every chapter is suspenseful. There is no need to write a review. Others have done this too. I see there are up to 50+ views. I just want you to treat it like a book you might read to enjoy. ***Spoiler *** Tommy, offers the ladies a place to rest & enjoy some of his cooking. He is on his way to a food festival & there is a traffic jam because of brush fires. The irony is he is the brother of one of the girls who are rescued. Enjoy it if you have the opportunity.
-
Wow. You have given me goosebumps I will so read every chapter .Is their any way that I can help ? Are You involved with any special organisations you mentioned fb . Are you involved in any programs that I could help with ? because if I could help even 1 person that would give my life such meaning .I have suffered from many things growing up and next week I will be 50 i so much feel that God has let me live through so much pain because I am meant to Help People ! Thank you for your words ! God Bless
-
I worked as an abuse advocate for 30+ years so I am especially tuned into this. Just being a member and making supportive comments would be good. I connected with one woman who is burning out after posting so many tragic notifications. The fb page is called
Missing and Murdered Native Americans
The woman who needs encouragement for posting posting is Mona Sespe
To connect with her would be healing for her. We'll be in touch
-
Thank you I would love to connect with her ! We all need healing and I to have been through abuse physically and mentally for more than half my life and I have now found peace ! God Bless You and Thank you !
-
I'm happy for you and your victory. I have a web site about relationship with imbalance if you are ever interested in perusing it.
-
I will definitely be reading your work and the fb page you shared ! Thank you for informing me of all this
I want to help in any way possible.God Bless You Always
Comment from Terry Overton
Such an important topic and one I know well from just completed a novel that included trafficking in Mexico by the cartel as one of the border crisis issues. It is through writings such as these, we can hopefully make the world more aware of what is happening right under our noses. Your descriptions were vivid and the emotions of the characters were felt as I read your chapter. Wishing you well in this work.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2021
|
Such an important topic and one I know well from just completed a novel that included trafficking in Mexico by the cartel as one of the border crisis issues. It is through writings such as these, we can hopefully make the world more aware of what is happening right under our noses. Your descriptions were vivid and the emotions of the characters were felt as I read your chapter. Wishing you well in this work.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2021
-
Thank you for your involved review. I'd be interested in reading your story. Where may I find it?
You're coming in cold into this story. I've had similar experiences. But fortunately this chapter can stand alone and be appreciated.
We are at the culmination of many adventures based upon the two ladies rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation.. I invite you to read the first 13 chapters in my portfolio about the rescue. Every chapter is suspenseful. There is no need to write a review. Others have done this too. I see there are up to 50+ views. I just want you to treat it like a book you might read to enjoy. ***Spoiler *** Tommy, offers the ladies a place to rest & enjoy some of his cooking. He is on his way to a food festival & there is a traffic jam because of brush fires. The irony is he is the brother of one of the girls who are rescued. Enjoy it if you have the opportunity.
-
Thank you. It is an important topic today.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is another interesting chapter, Liz. I like the new twist that peaks the readers' attention. The deserted town definitely construes many questions. Well done.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
|
This is another interesting chapter, Liz. I like the new twist that peaks the readers' attention. The deserted town definitely construes many questions. Well done.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
-
Thank you for your involved review.
Comment from Lana Marie
You had me captured throughout this chapter wanting to know what was happening and what was going to happen. Good detailed wording to describe the scene and the emotion. I still wanted to know why the mall was empty. The author notes were helpful to figuring out what the story is about! Sex trafficking is terrible. I helped volunteer for a non profit to build a home that would house women rescued from trafficking.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
|
You had me captured throughout this chapter wanting to know what was happening and what was going to happen. Good detailed wording to describe the scene and the emotion. I still wanted to know why the mall was empty. The author notes were helpful to figuring out what the story is about! Sex trafficking is terrible. I helped volunteer for a non profit to build a home that would house women rescued from trafficking.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
-
Thank you for your involved review. Also thank you for your service and dedication to the cause you've shown.
You are invited to visit my portfolio and read the first 13 chapters that are about the rescue of 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation. There is no need to write any review. Some chapters have 150 views. So that many have been reading my story. Every chapter is suspenseful.
Comment from Mabaker12
comment:
This is a great continuation of the girls trip, Liz. and the drawing are always superb. I love you fully and holey, and if practiced till I turned fragile and grey, I could turn Mugs into a bestseller. Ah, heck I'll just stick writing reviews for you and a couple of others. But mostly for you. Love Anne. Some of the reviews have left me a tad Mauldin.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
|
comment:
This is a great continuation of the girls trip, Liz. and the drawing are always superb. I love you fully and holey, and if practiced till I turned fragile and grey, I could turn Mugs into a bestseller. Ah, heck I'll just stick writing reviews for you and a couple of others. But mostly for you. Love Anne. Some of the reviews have left me a tad Mauldin.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
-
Tell me what they said...they'll have to go through me
Thank you for your enthusiastic review. And the shiny one
-
Basically it's my grammar and commas that get some reviewers offside, but the good and there are quite a lot of them actually outweigh the critics. Love You my dear Liz. You earned the little star.
-
If you load Grammarly for free, it will help you. I am spoiled by that program.
www.grammarly.com
Comment from Brenda Henderson
The trade of trafficking human beings for one purpose or another is indeed a very old disagreeable practice that people all across the globe have suffered for centuries. It is also a regrettable part of our narrative that humanity has and is still striving desperately to rewrite and overcome. Thank you for shedding light on a subject that often is not discussed, is too often overlooked, and may well go undetected until lives are destroyed and or lost altogether. Good work.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
|
The trade of trafficking human beings for one purpose or another is indeed a very old disagreeable practice that people all across the globe have suffered for centuries. It is also a regrettable part of our narrative that humanity has and is still striving desperately to rewrite and overcome. Thank you for shedding light on a subject that often is not discussed, is too often overlooked, and may well go undetected until lives are destroyed and or lost altogether. Good work.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for you involved review. I'm glad you appreciated it.
-
You're very welcome
Comment from aryr
Wow, make that a double wow. Liz, this was a great continuation chapter. After all the two girls/ladies, Liz and Linda had been through, there was a question of their garage being open. Tommy viewed everything that had been closed for some time, as he had said 'The Grille' was never closed. Times have definitely changed. Great job and very much enjoyed.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
|
Wow, make that a double wow. Liz, this was a great continuation chapter. After all the two girls/ladies, Liz and Linda had been through, there was a question of their garage being open. Tommy viewed everything that had been closed for some time, as he had said 'The Grille' was never closed. Times have definitely changed. Great job and very much enjoyed.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for your delightful review. I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as you did.
-
You are so welcome, Liz. I watch for each new chapter.
-
great
Comment from Pj Dennison
Oh my, why is the town shut down? I don't know if the garage will be open or not. You have me in suspense until the next chapter. Tommy was very upset the town was closed up.
They glanced over at Tommy who was doing windmill twists and shaking his hands out. (What are windmill twists and the significance of shaking his hands out?) I'm having difficulty seeing this part.
You did a nice job of creating suspense in this chapter. I wanted to read more. It's an excellent chapter!
Fit hatchback
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
|
Oh my, why is the town shut down? I don't know if the garage will be open or not. You have me in suspense until the next chapter. Tommy was very upset the town was closed up.
They glanced over at Tommy who was doing windmill twists and shaking his hands out. (What are windmill twists and the significance of shaking his hands out?) I'm having difficulty seeing this part.
You did a nice job of creating suspense in this chapter. I wanted to read more. It's an excellent chapter!
Fit hatchback
Comment Written 29-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for the involved review. I will define what I think windmill twist are. I figured his hands would be stiff from driving.
-
You are welcome. Yes, his hands would be tired. I think I know what you meant by windmill twists now. It's a rotation of the wrists.
-
right. I don't know if there is such a technical name. It is more of a metaphor.
Comment from lyenochka
Oh no! The town became a ghost town? What happened? Did the pandemic hit? I liked how the ladies were worried that Tommy's car wouldn't start - the "car karma" was funny.
On a serious note, I'm shocked by the information in the notes. I hope more people will work against human trafficking!
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
|
Oh no! The town became a ghost town? What happened? Did the pandemic hit? I liked how the ladies were worried that Tommy's car wouldn't start - the "car karma" was funny.
On a serious note, I'm shocked by the information in the notes. I hope more people will work against human trafficking!
Comment Written 29-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for your involved review. Oh my gosh this is so funny about your question: "Did the pandemic hit?" ***Spoiler*** That's exactly what I debated about for the ending. I won't confirm my decision, so you can have some suspense.