Reviews from

One Sunny Night

Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "One Sunny Night-Chapter 13"
Romance of visitor to Alaska

5 total reviews 
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Excellent
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Alaskastory:

How fortunate that when Dani had the courage to speak her beliefs instead of following her company's rules, a job opened for her in Alaska. It will be interesting to see if she attends the wedding at Stewart's, especially if she thinks he is marrying Starla.

Rdfrdmom2

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
    I'm so glad you took time to read this chapter. I think maybe chapter 14 will be the last. Thanks for your comments.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Excellent
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Well written. It has an interesting twist at the end that made me want to continue reading. I will continue following the story. Well done. Keep up the good work.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
    I very much appreciate your encouragement. Thanks for taking the time to read this chapter.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Excellent
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I seem to have missed earlier chapters. But this read well as a stand-alone chapter and I enjoyed it. No matter your exact relationship status, your soulmate gives you all sorts of warm and fuzzy feelings and you want them to know it. I liked that surprise ending. The dialogues and simple narrative take the story forward. Thanks for sharing!



 Comment Written 22-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
    It is so good of you to take time to read this. I very much appreciate your comments.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Oh what a twist at the end! I loved how you created this built up romance. I also laughed at Ginger's confidence at Dani's superpower in "resisting men."

I like how you always show us Dani's thoughtfulness in her clothing choices. I cheered at her ability to express herself well both in her speech and in answering the reporters. I also am proud of her sticking to her convictions in her speech. I wish I knew more of what she said. Perhaps you could give just a tiny bit of her speech. (I know in Fanstory we try to keep things short!)

Now you have us bewildered about the wedding but I'm guessing that Starla is marrying someone else, not Stewart. I hope Dani attends. She has those cute baby shoes to give the baby.

One typo at the beginning:
A smile and a blissful gaze filled Danielle face (Danielle's)

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
    I appreciate your comments on some specific details. Thanks so much for taking time to read this chapter. A big hug to you!
reply by lyenochka on 22-Jun-2021
    Enjoyed it! ❤️❤️
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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I remember reading the previous chapter. Gosh, it must have been a month ago. I was impressed enough to have remembered I would like to read more of an intelligent, politically minded young lady as she prepared for her presentation on the dam. This one doesn't disappoint.

Here are a few notes as I read along:

It was a short speech. When ended, it aroused the audience to begin leaving seats [I don't know whether "aroused" here has the effect you
want it to have. Do you want the reader to feel that the audience couldn't wait for the boring speech to end so they could leave? That was the feeling that "aroused" left in me.]

That definitely is not what she did. [Since you are using the past tense throughout, you should change this to ...WAS not what she did.]

Good chapter. I enjoyed spending time with it.

Jay


 Comment Written 21-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    Thanks so much for your suggestions. I am always very much in need of someone to catch some of my odd use of words. I'm delighted that your chose to read this one and gave it a high rating.