-Soft Trodden Prayer-
Lengthy Spiritual2 total reviews
Comment from Aiona
What an interesting "poem." I normally prefer poems that rhyme, but since you express this as a "prayer," it made me realize, a lot of prayer is basically free-verse poetry. And I do like prayers. Hence, I guess I *DO* like free-verse poetry as well, even though I often say I don't. And I do like this prayer. It's very soothing. I like this line, particularly:
"Such demonstrations of the heart flow eagerly through our veins, charging chambers of crystalline structures."
Is that a reference to people's demonstrations via writing online? LOL!
After all, computers are simply semiconductor crystals.
At first I thought the subject-verb agreement in this sentence was wrong... but then I traced each noun and verb, and I guess it's correct, but it is a bit confusing. I had to re-read it like three times to match the nouns and verbs:
"During transitions of extreme weight that tugs at the soul, unto the soft feathered accent, that curve words chiselled to course as peaceful threads binding the dreamer into a sweet lullaby."
Subject - Verb:
1. Transitions - that curve
2. extreme weight - tugs
Nouns with Participles:
1. words - chiselled
2. threads - binding
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2021
  |
What an interesting "poem." I normally prefer poems that rhyme, but since you express this as a "prayer," it made me realize, a lot of prayer is basically free-verse poetry. And I do like prayers. Hence, I guess I *DO* like free-verse poetry as well, even though I often say I don't. And I do like this prayer. It's very soothing. I like this line, particularly:
"Such demonstrations of the heart flow eagerly through our veins, charging chambers of crystalline structures."
Is that a reference to people's demonstrations via writing online? LOL!
After all, computers are simply semiconductor crystals.
At first I thought the subject-verb agreement in this sentence was wrong... but then I traced each noun and verb, and I guess it's correct, but it is a bit confusing. I had to re-read it like three times to match the nouns and verbs:
"During transitions of extreme weight that tugs at the soul, unto the soft feathered accent, that curve words chiselled to course as peaceful threads binding the dreamer into a sweet lullaby."
Subject - Verb:
1. Transitions - that curve
2. extreme weight - tugs
Nouns with Participles:
1. words - chiselled
2. threads - binding
Comment Written 11-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2021
-
Aiona, you exhibit an interesting extroverted bundle of energy. I am just glad you took a strong look into this "poem". Thank you for your review my friend.
-
I'll just edit it for clarity. Thanks.
Comment from Sally Law
This is another beautifully penned poem , dear Gordon. I'm getting to the point where I don't mind the A's. However, it may cause you lower scores which pains me. You write such lovely spiritual poems. To amend, just go into edit and remove them, backing up your cursor. It's pretty simple. Sending you my best today and blessings always,
Sal :))
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
|
This is another beautifully penned poem , dear Gordon. I'm getting to the point where I don't mind the A's. However, it may cause you lower scores which pains me. You write such lovely spiritual poems. To amend, just go into edit and remove them, backing up your cursor. It's pretty simple. Sending you my best today and blessings always,
Sal :))
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
-
Thank you, I have tried that, and numerous other ways. They just keep on popping up afterwards, and often if I edit, it always multiplies. But thank you for the words of aporeciation.
-
Did you edit from your phone or from a computer? Just curious. I would contact FanStory. :))