One Sunny Night
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "One Sunny Night-Chapter 10"Romance of visitor to Alaska
10 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
I am enjoying your story so much. You sure know how to keep readers on the edge of their seats, MissA. I always look forward to the next installment. Since you sometimes write scripts, I would like to suggest you put this story in script form and send it to Hallmark Movies. It seems very much like what they produce. I think you could make some big bucks.
Good luck with this most intriguing story.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2021
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I am enjoying your story so much. You sure know how to keep readers on the edge of their seats, MissA. I always look forward to the next installment. Since you sometimes write scripts, I would like to suggest you put this story in script form and send it to Hallmark Movies. It seems very much like what they produce. I think you could make some big bucks.
Good luck with this most intriguing story.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much for the high rating! Of course Hallmark is my inspiration to attempt this romance story. Not sure now how to effectively end it. You are so encouraging,MissM.
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Well, of course it ends when the current boyfriend breaks off to be with someone else and the handsome, rich guy that makes her heart beat faster let?s her know he can?t live without her. Then they kiss, and that is the end. Right?
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Alaskastory:
One never knows what one might find once getting off an airplane, eh?
It's amazing how that one comment got Danielle energized after such a
long flight. I suspect that Danielle is going to find the baby was not
fathered by Stewart.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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Alaskastory:
One never knows what one might find once getting off an airplane, eh?
It's amazing how that one comment got Danielle energized after such a
long flight. I suspect that Danielle is going to find the baby was not
fathered by Stewart.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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Thanks for taking time to read this chapter. I enjoy your comments.
Comment from Mastery
Hi Marie. This is excellent continuation to your story. You are most likely very familiar with that area in Alaska so that makes the writing much easier, I would think.
Your dialogue sounds very natural and that is so important.
Suggestion minor: "Danielle gave a shrug then plunged a knife into ..."
Try "Danielle shrugged then plunged a knife into the pie..." etc
Good job, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2021
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Hi Marie. This is excellent continuation to your story. You are most likely very familiar with that area in Alaska so that makes the writing much easier, I would think.
Your dialogue sounds very natural and that is so important.
Suggestion minor: "Danielle gave a shrug then plunged a knife into ..."
Try "Danielle shrugged then plunged a knife into the pie..." etc
Good job, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2021
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I agree in using shrugged instead. Many thanks for reviewing this one.
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:) Bob
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Alaska, because of your clever writing, it wasn't hard for the reader to see that Dani was really affected by the news of Starla's baby. I don't know how many more chapters it will take before you get around to telling the truth about Starla's relationship to Stewart.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Dear Alaska, because of your clever writing, it wasn't hard for the reader to see that Dani was really affected by the news of Starla's baby. I don't know how many more chapters it will take before you get around to telling the truth about Starla's relationship to Stewart.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thanks for your review and comments, especially on what will happen next chapter. Wish I knew!
Comment from lyenochka
I really enjoyed this! Man, Danielle is one sharp cookie. She knows exactly where she might meet Stewart again - at the hospital. Won't he be surprised! I like how you made the mom and Ginger pushing Danielle to move forward with her heart's inclinations toward Stewart. My favorite part was when she stabbed the pie, while talking about Starla.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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I really enjoyed this! Man, Danielle is one sharp cookie. She knows exactly where she might meet Stewart again - at the hospital. Won't he be surprised! I like how you made the mom and Ginger pushing Danielle to move forward with her heart's inclinations toward Stewart. My favorite part was when she stabbed the pie, while talking about Starla.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thanks for reading this and giving me encouraging comments. Hope I get through on the next chapter.
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I know you can! 🌺🌻🌼💖💖
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Marie!
Since I am joining midstory, I think I will have to back track and catch up on the story line. I didn't see anything to correct, unless your reference to Rhonda being full energy was to be full of energy. I am a sucker for a story set in Fairbanks, so I will have to stay tuned.
Will you be selling your books at Farmer's market again this summer? Perhaps, I will see you there. Keep up the great work!
Kim
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Hi Marie!
Since I am joining midstory, I think I will have to back track and catch up on the story line. I didn't see anything to correct, unless your reference to Rhonda being full energy was to be full of energy. I am a sucker for a story set in Fairbanks, so I will have to stay tuned.
Will you be selling your books at Farmer's market again this summer? Perhaps, I will see you there. Keep up the great work!
Kim
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Hopefully I will set up at the Pioneer Museum one day a week. Hope to see you then. Thanks for reviewing this chapter.
Comment from lancellot
A very interesting chapter. Danielle's curiosity and reluctance about new love comes across splendidly.
Notes:
quiver washed through her.(")
- remove
"So soon? Well, it's good you will see that young man and can tell him I appreciate receiving his thank-you card."
- add space-
"I'm unlikely to see him. All my business will be at the University. I'll be there only three days."
She{ trends} to look right through you,
- tends
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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A very interesting chapter. Danielle's curiosity and reluctance about new love comes across splendidly.
Notes:
quiver washed through her.(")
- remove
"So soon? Well, it's good you will see that young man and can tell him I appreciate receiving his thank-you card."
- add space-
"I'm unlikely to see him. All my business will be at the University. I'll be there only three days."
She{ trends} to look right through you,
- tends
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thank you so very much for catching errors. I am so good at making them. I appreciate you review so much!
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent story! The characters interact nicely together and this story is very well written! Excellent plot and very interesting;-)
Thanxxx for sharing, God bless you and your family;-)
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Excellent story! The characters interact nicely together and this story is very well written! Excellent plot and very interesting;-)
Thanxxx for sharing, God bless you and your family;-)
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much for reading this one. I very much appreciate your comments.
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;-)
Comment from KyColonel Randal
Thank you for sharing this chapter. I noticed a couple things which may be helpful to you: "Danielle exited the phone." < This line is awkward. Does one exit a phone? "She trends to look right through you," < Do you mean "tends"? Hopefully that is helpful. The story is interesting, held my attention throughout, and made me want to read more.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thank you for sharing this chapter. I noticed a couple things which may be helpful to you: "Danielle exited the phone." < This line is awkward. Does one exit a phone? "She trends to look right through you," < Do you mean "tends"? Hopefully that is helpful. The story is interesting, held my attention throughout, and made me want to read more.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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You are so good at catching errors. Thanks a million for helping me with these!
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You're welcome.
Comment from T B Botts
You've done such a wonderful job capturing the characters and telling their story. I like all the details you put into each line. I can see the pies coming out of the oven, and Ginger asking for a smaller slice. The details make the difference in a story, in much the same way they make one house stand out against others. Well done.
Tom
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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You've done such a wonderful job capturing the characters and telling their story. I like all the details you put into each line. I can see the pies coming out of the oven, and Ginger asking for a smaller slice. The details make the difference in a story, in much the same way they make one house stand out against others. Well done.
Tom
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Tom, so very much for reading this and making such comments.