More Grist to the Mill
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "A Lack of Curiosity"Book 2 of the Cleeborough Mill Trilogy
30 total reviews
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
The more this story unwinds the more it denotes a misinterpretation of Hettie's demise. It seems the words in her letter did not come through clearly to those who read it. Peter Allen, however, will see it differently.
Ralf
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2021
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The more this story unwinds the more it denotes a misinterpretation of Hettie's demise. It seems the words in her letter did not come through clearly to those who read it. Peter Allen, however, will see it differently.
Ralf
Comment Written 23-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2021
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People tend to see what they expect to see, but Allen as a trained and experienced barrister will concentrate on evidence rather than jumping to conclusions. Many thanks for looking back at this post.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Hettie was certainly a girl used to looking after herself and the Mill, and her anger shows she was not going to let it rest. Another good read, and almost caught up,
cheers.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Hettie was certainly a girl used to looking after herself and the Mill, and her anger shows she was not going to let it rest. Another good read, and almost caught up,
cheers.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Yes. Not much further to g oand you'll be there. Thanks again for your continued reviewing.
Comment from Sanku
So Hettie was not upset about the baby but the fact that her father would lose the business. "anyroads" I found that interesting and soon figured out that it was 'anyway'...
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2021
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So Hettie was not upset about the baby but the fact that her father would lose the business. "anyroads" I found that interesting and soon figured out that it was 'anyway'...
Comment Written 26-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2021
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Anyroad is a common colloquialism in the northern half of the country. Many thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This is certainly a six-star performance, on the part of all of your characters, both dead and alive! I was glued to my little cellphone screen from start to finish, and while I had to concentrate a bit to follow the quotations within quotations, I didn't find a single error.
It's fascinating to delve into the past with the Bache couple, who are a force to be reckoned with, and who have definitely got Peter Allen's ears tingling.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
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This is certainly a six-star performance, on the part of all of your characters, both dead and alive! I was glued to my little cellphone screen from start to finish, and while I had to concentrate a bit to follow the quotations within quotations, I didn't find a single error.
It's fascinating to delve into the past with the Bache couple, who are a force to be reckoned with, and who have definitely got Peter Allen's ears tingling.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this lovely six-star review. It must be difficult to read a novel on something as small as a cellphone screen. you are to be congratulated for that.
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Thank you so much, Jim. I've grown very accustomed to this small device. We have a laptop that our pastor gave us, mainly for church ministry, but my husband and I share it. You would be amazed at how many things I've been able to do on a cellphone! I do need to replace it soon, as the memory is rather overloaded... and of course, some things must be done on the laptop. Zoom, for example, is much better on the full screen, and it can't be beat for word processing.
Happy writing! - Mary Kay
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;))
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is an excellent chapter,
and I wish I had a six to award it.
-You certainly build suspense with
the dialogue going back and forth,
various ones inserting extra comments.
-It is obvious that Hettie was very
upset, angry, and feeling a sense of
despair, mainly because of her father.
-I like how you included Heather's comment
about recognizing that look after her
mother's stroke.
-I hope you continue this so we can
know what happened to Hettie and why.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
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-This is an excellent chapter,
and I wish I had a six to award it.
-You certainly build suspense with
the dialogue going back and forth,
various ones inserting extra comments.
-It is obvious that Hettie was very
upset, angry, and feeling a sense of
despair, mainly because of her father.
-I like how you included Heather's comment
about recognizing that look after her
mother's stroke.
-I hope you continue this so we can
know what happened to Hettie and why.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
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Whatever the result of Allen's work it will always be a matter of conjecture after so long. He is more concerned to get at the reasons behind any death wish, be it Warburton's or Hettie's. Many thanks for this complimentary review.
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You are very welcome. I understand about the conjecture, and hope he comes up with something.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Finally the mystery solved, Heather was caring more about the mill than her kid. "
'"Oh, spare me your sorrow, Heather Joliffe, please," she says. "There be sorrow a'plenty down here in this valley, so we dunna need no more from you lot up yon hill. You tell your brother, Heather. You tell that lying toad true, mind. I cunna care about him, nor me, but I cares about Feyther, and I cares about our business. I just dunna think it be fair what your feyther bin and done, however he do think on me or that precious son of his. He'll not anywheres get service like what he got from this here mill; not at Pritton, nor yet Dedcott neither. You go and tell him that. Aye, just go and tell him that!"'
" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Finally the mystery solved, Heather was caring more about the mill than her kid. "
'"Oh, spare me your sorrow, Heather Joliffe, please," she says. "There be sorrow a'plenty down here in this valley, so we dunna need no more from you lot up yon hill. You tell your brother, Heather. You tell that lying toad true, mind. I cunna care about him, nor me, but I cares about Feyther, and I cares about our business. I just dunna think it be fair what your feyther bin and done, however he do think on me or that precious son of his. He'll not anywheres get service like what he got from this here mill; not at Pritton, nor yet Dedcott neither. You go and tell him that. Aye, just go and tell him that!"'
" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this review. It was always on the cards, though it might seem odd.
Comment from RShipp
You have done a wonderful job in the dialects and the spelling of the words.
I found their awkward conversation very realistic.
To try an figure out anothers motives for their actions is not an easy thing. Well done.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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You have done a wonderful job in the dialects and the spelling of the words.
I found their awkward conversation very realistic.
To try an figure out anothers motives for their actions is not an easy thing. Well done.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this positive review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Another very interesting chapter that is as well-written as the previous ones. I hope Heather has more to say as it seems as if she might know more than she realizes. Looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Another very interesting chapter that is as well-written as the previous ones. I hope Heather has more to say as it seems as if she might know more than she realizes. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Fear not! There is more yet to come from Heather. Thank you for another complimentary review and from Tommy too as Allen continues his enquiry.
Comment from padumachitta
hi
Well, it is always a mystery in many ways why someone commits suicide. It would appear as though this is not as straight forward as the crown would like...some things never change eh.
I think I haven't comented before how well you write the accent. It's good, I kin hear 'me.
Stay safe,
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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hi
Well, it is always a mystery in many ways why someone commits suicide. It would appear as though this is not as straight forward as the crown would like...some things never change eh.
I think I haven't comented before how well you write the accent. It's good, I kin hear 'me.
Stay safe,
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for this review, and particularly for the comment on the accent. I was warned once against writing in 'dialect' but without it the characterisation can seem very bland.
After some study and thought I came up with my own special way of doing it and have received many positive comments, and only about three adverse comments (all from Americans - who have probably never set foot outside Wyoming or wherever). It requires imitation of the regional idiom rather than merely reproduction of regional pronunciation as the latter is largely impossible in print.
Also I have resolved to drop the ubiquitous dropping of initial Hs and final Gs as all that does is create a blizzard of apostrophes. I have latched onto a group of related word/phrases capable of showing meaning via context, in this case 'cunna, canna, dunna, dinna, wunna and munna for couldn't, can't, don't, didn't, wouldn't and mustn't. The rest is idiomatic grammar for the most part. You can only obtain that from listening to the real thing.
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hi
I know some say don't write in dialect. Ah...I think the Scots would be a bit ticked at that...I mean Old Burns wrote in diaect...and actually so did Billy Shakespeare...
No me think that we be gettin' a wee bit too precious with arn language...
Americans after all use You all went to the movies...and think you all is actually real grammar...and don't get me start on irregardless, regardless of what we are talking about:-)
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;))
Comment from JudyE
It's really clever how you're filling in all the missing pieces concerning Hettie's death. The dialogue is very realistic.
Just a couple of points:
'You said, "You cunna ask Hettie to come out for a minute could you? If she bain't too busy that is. I wunna keep her long.' Oh aye, I remember you that day well enough. "I'll fetch her directly," I said, but then I had to calm one of the horses down. Oakapple it were. He knew I hanna finished brushing him down, see. You canna walk out on a horse like, not in the middle of grooming him, no, not like you can leave off tinkering with a tractor these days. 'Course there weren't no tractors back then.' - I think the double and single quotes need checking here. Should it be double quotes after '..keep her long'?
Allen gave Tommy free reign with his story - spelling - rein
'So, anyroad, I digs Miss Hettie out the Mill and - lower case for 'mill'
'"Heather?" she says, waiting for me to state my business - there is an extra space at the beginning of this sentence.
Best wishes
Judy
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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It's really clever how you're filling in all the missing pieces concerning Hettie's death. The dialogue is very realistic.
Just a couple of points:
'You said, "You cunna ask Hettie to come out for a minute could you? If she bain't too busy that is. I wunna keep her long.' Oh aye, I remember you that day well enough. "I'll fetch her directly," I said, but then I had to calm one of the horses down. Oakapple it were. He knew I hanna finished brushing him down, see. You canna walk out on a horse like, not in the middle of grooming him, no, not like you can leave off tinkering with a tractor these days. 'Course there weren't no tractors back then.' - I think the double and single quotes need checking here. Should it be double quotes after '..keep her long'?
Allen gave Tommy free reign with his story - spelling - rein
'So, anyroad, I digs Miss Hettie out the Mill and - lower case for 'mill'
'"Heather?" she says, waiting for me to state my business - there is an extra space at the beginning of this sentence.
Best wishes
Judy
Comment Written 22-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Hey, why not free reign? That would mean being allowed to continue ruling without bothering with an election. Mr Trump wanted free reign but the government wouldn't let him have it. Free rein, free reign its a new metaphorical cocktail already, so who cares. Only joking, thanks for spotting it, and the others - not so many this time.
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I did give a thought as to how 'free reign' would be more appropriate from time to time. And so few comments to make, it was hardly worth starting on! lol