The Notes
Sometimes we don't get answers.4 total reviews
Comment from Goodadvicechan
It is definitely scary to be locked inside a room surrounded by four walls and a good way to scare Lisa. These notes have ultimately driven Lisa to nervous breakdown.
You are a good story teller. You can express Lisa's personal feelings.
Good job.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2020
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It is definitely scary to be locked inside a room surrounded by four walls and a good way to scare Lisa. These notes have ultimately driven Lisa to nervous breakdown.
You are a good story teller. You can express Lisa's personal feelings.
Good job.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2020
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Thank you I am glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Patty Palmer
Your story is a thriller. I guess the last note meant that no one was coming back to get her. Evidently, the ransom was not paid. Good luck with the contest. The only suggestion I have for you is the girl's name is Lisa in the first note the girl's name says, Linda. Then the rest of the story it's Lisa again.
Patty
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Your story is a thriller. I guess the last note meant that no one was coming back to get her. Evidently, the ransom was not paid. Good luck with the contest. The only suggestion I have for you is the girl's name is Lisa in the first note the girl's name says, Linda. Then the rest of the story it's Lisa again.
Patty
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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I am glad you liked it. Thank you so much for pointing out my mistake so I could correct it.
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
I thought this was a very well-written story. The character's dialogue to herself and shouting out to the room rang true and seemed realistic (I hope this didn't really happen to you:)
"The weight of her arm" was a strong way to start the story off. It suggested the weight of her situation.
The ending is strong as well...getting the note "Nice knowing You."
"Giving up" seemed too abrupt as a final line.
I think I would have liked something more like "yearning to give up." But, hey, it's your story:) Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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I thought this was a very well-written story. The character's dialogue to herself and shouting out to the room rang true and seemed realistic (I hope this didn't really happen to you:)
"The weight of her arm" was a strong way to start the story off. It suggested the weight of her situation.
The ending is strong as well...getting the note "Nice knowing You."
"Giving up" seemed too abrupt as a final line.
I think I would have liked something more like "yearning to give up." But, hey, it's your story:) Well done.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Thank you. I only had 500 words to work with. When I edit the story I will try to show her spirit die a bit slower.
Comment from humpwhistle
Well, that is certainly chilling. The feeling of abandonment is massively powerful. To be completely cut off from everything and everyone one knows is a dreadful condition. Nice job of building the tension.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
in her chest. --perhaps this is unnecessary?
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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Well, that is certainly chilling. The feeling of abandonment is massively powerful. To be completely cut off from everything and everyone one knows is a dreadful condition. Nice job of building the tension.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
in her chest. --perhaps this is unnecessary?
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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Thank you or your review.
