Cathy,
I wish I knew what you were thinking now
As we work on this puzzle together.
I wonder how
Is it, that
I
With the “normal” mind
Find it so difficult
While you with such ease
Seem to match each piece together
Curve to curve, angle to angle, straight line to straight?
It’s almost as if you can see
The final result beforehand.
I
Watch amazed, as your tiny, frail hand
Lifts one piece after another, twirling them knowingly
Spinning them, between your two fingers and thumb
Until each piece yields, and surrenders to where it must go
But how do you know…, how could you know?
One might think, you witnessed the sowing and knitting together
Of this now jumbled scene
Before it was shattered and scattered but I know that’s not so
Still…, how do you know?
Oh, I know you can’t answer me now
But someday, somehow
I
Will ask the one whose hand formed you
The creator of all puzzles, I’ll ask
Him
But for now, I’m content to sit still
Bewildered, while watching
You
My beautiful daughter, my angel so sweet
I’ll sit still, bewildered while watching you
Perform this simple yet wondrous feat.
Suddenly
Your nimble, hand stalls
Floats in mid-air, your fingers turning, and twirling
But that one piece revolving leaves me confused
Are you truly stumped or merely amused?
You let out a sharp laugh as you sometimes do
When excited or pleased.
You glance up to the sky, flapping your hands as if they were wings.
Then turn to me smiling, as
I
Realize, some answers do come before asking.
My heart leaps within me, as
You
Knowingly place, in my now open hand
That one stubborn piece
Finally surrendered to where it must go
To where all who are puzzled must go
Before they too can yield
Yeild.., and surrender
To know.
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Mental Health
Contest Winner
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Author Notes
My Daughter, Catharine was born 32 years ago, she needs constant care and supervision and to this day still lives with me, my wife, and my two younger sons. She suffered asphyxiation during birth due to the umbilical cord being wrapped around her neck, cutting off oxygen to her brain during labor. She was born with heart problems, as well as physical and mental delays. Cathy is a very special child, not because of her mental problems but in spite of them. Everyone that meets her instantly falls in love with her, and she is very sensitive to the feelings of others. She remembers names and faces, picking out people in crowds that we would otherwise miss but her ability to work on jigsaw puzzles is what truly amazes me - the way I describe it in this poem is really the way she works.
When Catherine was still a young child I realized that she would never grow up to lead a normal life, and my wife and I as well as my two younger sons would have to look after her as long as we were able. As a young father, I remember asking God, why her? Why me, Why us? Now, despite the many trials and difficulties we've endured as a family, I thank God for choosing us to care for this wonderful child. I have fully surrendered to God's perfect plan for Catharine, myself, and my family and because of that, I now know, our family puzzle would not be complete without her.
I intentionally used the personal pronouns, I, You, Him between certain stanzas to represent the connecting pieces of the puzzle necessary to come together before I could finally surrender to know God's perfect plan for Cathy, myself, and my family. Cathy, myself, and God needed to somehow spiritually connect before I was able to do that.
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