ONE-ACT PLAY
Characters: Charlene (a nurse); Marie (her mother); Lauren (nursing supervisor); Jack (hospital administrator)
SCENE 1
CHARLENE: (in hospital scrubs, sitting at kitchen table, addresses the audience)
The worst part of getting fired is having to tell my mother. She put me through nursing school, paid my bills these past three years, and now I’ve got to tell her my career is down the toilet and I’m the idiot who flushed it.
(she hears her mother’s footsteps and knows that she’s heading to the kitchen for coffee)
I suppose I could wait until the bad business becomes “official”, but what’s the point? It’s pretty much a done deal. It’s torturous waiting for the ax; meantime, at least, this part I can control. I may as well get it over with. Here goes.
(as Marie enters, Charlene beckons her to sit)
Ma, I hate to have to tell you this, but it looks like I’m going to lose my job. I’m going to get fired, for something stupid I did. I did it to myself. I don’t want to go into the gory details; I didn’t hurt a patient or anything, but the upshot is I did something stupid outside of work, and thanks to social media, people at the hospital saw—
MARIE: Don’t tell me you tweeted your twat—like that pervert Wiener who sent a picture of his—
CHARLENE: No, Ma, I swear, it’s nothing like that—
MARIE: What did you do, put it on snatch-chat?
CHARLENE: It’s called snap-chat, Ma, not snatch-chat.
MARIE: What then—did you text your tits?
CHARLENE: No, Ma, I didn’t text my tits or tweet my twat—you can’t even do that, for God’s sake, Ma—that’s not how it works. No, I was fully dressed—in fact, I was wearing my scrubs, my uniform, that’s the problem! I was out drinking and did something stupid that someone challenged me to do and posted it on Facebook. They’ll think I stole supplies, maybe even drugs. I deleted it the next morning but it was too late because—
MARIE: Don’t tell me your boss saw it!
No, my boss didn’t see it—that’s the good news. The bad news is her boss saw it. And the worse news is his boss saw it. Apparently, some friend of a friend must have ratted me out. So, any minute I expect to get a text telling me to come in—I’m so sorry, Ma, after all you’ve done for me—thank you for not kicking me when I’m down and out (she glances at her cell)—and speaking of “out”—here it is. He just texted. I may as well get it over with. (Charlene exits)
SCENE 2 (hospital corridor)
Charlene strides hurriedly and is intercepted by Lauren who thrusts a large colorful tote bag at her.
LAUREN: I wanted to be sure to give you this before you leave.
CHARLENE: (winces briefly, then recovers her composure) Thanks Lauren. I appreciate your thinking of me. Well…I guess…good-bye…I’m on my way to see Jack…
(Charlene proceeds down the corridor and knocks on Jack’s door. He opens it and beckons her to sit)
CHARLENE: Well, I see bad news travels fast. Lauren just gave me a going away gift. (she gestures at the tote bag as Jack looks puzzled)
JACK: Oh that…that’s neither here nor there. Lauren was just holding that aside for you—there was an promotional event yesterday on the day shift and they gave out those swag bags. Lauren doesn’t know anything about this.
CHARLENE: Well, sir, I’m not going to deny it—I know you saw the photo I posted, with the caption—yes, I was drunk; yes I had the needles from my shift in my top pocket; yes, I foolishly figured I’d take the challenge—he bet me fifty bucks that I couldn’t get a line in him, that his veins are so bad—he said last time there were two nurses and three lab techs, and finally, after fifteen tries among them they gave up and had to—
JACK: You mean to tell me, that this guy tells you nobody’s ever been able to get an IV in him even after fifteen attempts and here you, dead drunk, get one in both arms on the first shot?
That’s un-effin-believable! Girl—you rule!
Now get your ass back to work!
|
