Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.
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Background
I decided to document how this virus is affecting my sanity. So feel free to join me in this experience, I hope the reading will become funnier, then what I posted so far. Thank you for reading.
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Day 8
24 March, 2020
I don’t understand why everybody wants to beat China? Who signed up for this crazy Olympics and have not advertised in advance? Probably the Chinese where thinking we are number one in the world economy, why not be the same in the Pandemic Olympics? Italy said no, no we want to be the first, so they jumped like crazy, and Lady Corona obliged and claim the big prize of 6820 deaths compared with the snake-n-do population of 3281 from China.
O.K., China is still the champion with 81,218 cases compared with 69,176 in Italy. Now in this crazy race, we have the United States with 54,968 cases of infected and 784 deaths, and as far as I know bats are not in their preferred menu. Did KFC used chicken of the cave for their menu? I hope not!
Spain bounced too in this race and said: Europe must win this race. Please, folks, I am being sarcastic here, and hope my sarcasm will make Lady C, go away. Spain got “blessed” with 47,610 infected and 3,434 deaths. What the heck, is the inquisition back? I know we must repent for our sins, but can we have an indulgentia?
Germany felt left out, neine! They join the chorus, ja, with 34,009 cases and 172 that went to fight for a better world. Now, the eternal rival, France, mais oui, obtained the bronze medal in Europe with 27,017 infected and 1,100 death.
So how is Asia doing in this Pandemic Olympics? No questions asked, as was expected in any Olympics China got the gold. Silver went to a new commer in the Olympic world: welcome Iran with 27,017 and 2,077 deaths and the bronze went to South Korea, 9,137 infected and 126 death. I think the Koreans had the best rate of return in this game, so let’s follow their example and stay isolated.
Let’s see how South America is doing: samba si trabajo no; this time this tactic is quite desirable! Brazil got the gold with 2,271 cases and 47 deaths, after that Chile with 927 cases and 2 deaths, keep it down brother! The silver goes to the tango country, Argentina with 387 cases and 6 deaths.
Frankly, I don’t get it. Was not this virus manufactured for the cold season? So how do we explain this… South America and Central America? No more escapades to Mexico and Cuba. Dear Canadians, stay home, Mexico has 405 cases and 5 deaths, and Cuba 40; probably all imported. It's like in a bad movie: we give you heroina, return the Coroina . I visit you, I drink your Cerveza and you… die!
I guess Lady C, doesn’t give a damn about the weather she just wants to be fed. I hope she will go to fast soon, because Easter is coming, and we are still in lent theoretically. I do hope that our Saviour will wipe this slate clean, if we repent, of course.
For the first time in PandemicOlympic history, ladies and gentlemen we have a ship, that banged all expectations: Diamond Princess has put Japan on the map with 1905 cases and 53 deaths. This ship like the poor beer, will have to change their names and branding. Just think about it: Corona gives you chills! For the ship, “take a trip in the deep…sneezing”
We don’t want to be accused of racism so let’s see how Africa is doing in this pandemic? So, the gold goes to South Africa with 709 cases, but zero deaths, bravo! Silver goes to Egypt for 402 cases and 2 deaths. And finally, the third place goes to Morocco, no more Casablanca, 170 cases and 5 deaths.
Now let's see how two of my ex countries are doing. Romania has 906 infected, and 13 deaths. Bulgaria is sitting pretty good, only 200 infected and 3 deaths.
I prefer to stay at the back of the queue and be safe, then having so many cases touched by Lady Corona. For now, Canada is behind USA, finally something we don’t complain about in this Olympics. We have 2792 cases and 26 death. So, in the good Canadian fashion, will say sorry and be safe. I wonder if the entire human race will stay home, we will survive or we will zombie out?
Author Notes
Please read with cautions, it meant to be a silly story, if you feel offended, stop reading immediately. It might contain scenes that are not suitable for people who have lost their sense of humor. As usual, thank you for reading and stay home, my friends.
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