Mermaids are bizarre and mythical They don't look like us you see Confused identity half girl half fish Is something I'd like to be I wonder where they shop for bras Don't have to stop to wear panties There's no need to do any laundry Each one wears nature's fancies Their tails end with a 'va' shaped fluke The strong tail helps them to swim The torso covered in silvery scales Shines through waters deep and dim Their lipstick always stays in place Their face always looks the same Beautiful hair covers their charms it flows back with the current But the songs the sirens sing Lure sailors each night and day To lure their ships onto rocks A mermaid? Not me, I'll stay

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