I'm hesitant to tell anybody -
something beyond belief happened to me;
I'm afraid if I try the FBI,
they'll think me mad, and assume it's a lie.
It's kind of funny, but it's scary, too;
I'll tell it anyway, but just to you.
I spotted my doppelganger today!
I know it wasn't me, I have to say.
He had my great big ears, he had my nose,
and all his other parts were very close.
He walked with a jiggy-jog, like my own,
and I noticed a bald spot on his dome.
It occurred to me when I reached my door,
"I believe I've seen that fellow before."
I think this wasn't coincidental -
two of me on my street - accidental?
Who is he, and what does he want of me,
a struggling poet, a nonentity?
Can he be a Martian, do you suppose,
that came on one of those UFO's?
Maybe his planet has a shortage of scribes
and they hacked FS for poetic vibes?
Is it an alien scheme to take my place,
a sneaky invasion from outer space?
But if my doppelganger's left behind,
that means the doppelganger has no mind,
incapable of writing poetry,
(Some would insist that's precisely like me)
programmed to simulate my ev'ry move,
and fool my wife as the ultimate proof.
Listen, if you spot this plug ugly guy,
and tell me where, I will be be much obliged.
I'll leave it to the due authorities,
but keep it between us two, if you please.
;)
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