Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.
Fade in
An old gym. A crowd has gathered near the basketball court. An animated discussion is going on. The floor is worn but maintained. The hoops are regulation height and it's a full court. There's a half-court game in progress at the other end, three on three.
Main Characters:
Larry; Tall, athletic young man, early thirties. He looks ready to play some hoops and like he might be quite adept at it.
Marky: Short, long arms, big hands for his size. About the same age. He doesn't look out of shape or non-athletic, but he doesn't look like any match for Larry by a longshot.
There are various friends present of both potential players, egging them on and supporting their guy.
Marky is dribbling the ball and talking.
Marky
I know you have some pro ball under your belt, so I wouldn't want to embarrass you. Besides, with that knee injury that kept you out of the pros ... well, I'd just be taking advantage.
Larry
Are you shitting me? My knee is fine. I may not be up for the Celtics, but your little ass is a joke. You couldn't score even a point on me in your wildest dreams. I wouldn't even bother.
Larry fan 1
Tell him. You're asking for grief, Marky. My boy was drafted by the Celtics, homes. The only draft you've come in contact with is when you got pantsed in the fourth grade.
The whole group laughs heartily at that, Marky loudest among them.
Marky
Yeah, but you forgot to mention you were starving at the time. They did that to save your life. They knew what your favorite meal was.
Even heartier laughter this time.
Larry
I can see what you all are into. I'm not sure I even want to be on the court with y'all anyway.
The expected laughter came in the form from a few titters from his friends.
Marky
Anyway, I can't be beat. No one has ever beat me. It's just one of those things. Skill isn't even a factor. You might even be a better baller than I am. You'll still lose. I cannot be beat. I don't even know why myself. Ask anyone.
Marky winks at his friend Joe who smiles slightly.
Joe
It's true, bro. I bowl with a 219 average, good enough to hold my own in pro-am tournaments. This fool bowls like a girl. But, put twenty bucks on it ... well, shit, I've never beat him for some damn reason. He all of a sudden goes Dick Weber on me and I ... I just go to hell. Why? Who knows. Pisses me off. But, I can tell you. Don't even try it. He ain't lyin'
Larry
Ha! Bowling? This is basketball, fool. I was a first-round draft pick and he's a ... a midget. Are you serious? You think if I bring my A game this little man can even get a shot off? Gimme some of that good shit you're smokin'.
Marky
Well, hey, let's have a little warm up. Ya know, I'll give you a little taste and then we'll see how you feel.
Marky starts dribbling 'round the court. He starts off playing like he's uncoordinated and the whole group is in stitches. He's bouncing the ball up high over his head and off his foot. Finally, he starts dribbling smoothly and quite skillfully. Larry starts laughing and heads out after him. In seconds, he has the ball. He holds it a moment and then fires it back to Marky. This repeats half a dozen times. The crowd is on the ground laughing. They return to the group.
Larry
Get the picture?
Marky
Yep. I think I set you up for the kill pretty good. I'm thinking a simple half-court game to twenty-one.
Larry
Are you kidding? How about to one. I'll give you twenty. All you've got to do is score one. Are you down for that? How much? Or are you all talk?
Marky
I really don't want to take your money. I thought this was just a friendly game. Didn't you hear my friend? Didn't you get a taste of what I can do? You are going to lose, my friend. You want to pay me to beat you? Makes no sense.
Larry
Shit. I thought so. I ain't breakin' a sweat for free. Here's a c-note. You got ten bucks we'll call it a bet.
Marky shakes his head and then starts chuckling to himself. He walks out to half court.
Marky
Remember, you forced me to do this. This was your idea. I was willing to let you slide. I tried to tell you, I am the GREATEST OF ALL TIMES!
Larry
Your outs. Just play, Fool, I'm gonna love this.
Larry fires the ball to Marky hard. Marky catches it without batting an eye. Larry backs up far and Marky dribbles towards the sidelines. Larry pursues and is all over him. Marky is practically caged in.
Larry
Make a move, sonny boy, anytime. Can't go left, can't go right, can't go straight ... can you fly? That would help.
Marky keeps dribbling. It's clear he can't get around Larry. In the blink of an eye, Marky turns and sprints towards half court. A surprised Larry follows close behind. When he hits half court, Marky unleashes a high arching hook shot in the direction of the basket. All eyes watch the ball in flight except Marky. He's walking to the group waiting by the sidelines. The ball hits nothing but net. Marky never looks up. He takes the hundred-dollar bill from Larry's friend who had been holding the bet and sits on the bench. Larry stands in the middle of the floor staring at the basket. The crowd bursts into hysterical laughter. Marky just sits there with a smirk on his face.
Marky
OF ALL TIMES!
The End
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Author Notes
This is in honour of Muhammad Ali's birthday. He's always been my idol and I'm not one who has idols. I always found his approach to sports and life to be the greatest fun. I loved how he'd take an ordinary match and make something huge out of it. I've always done that with simple outings like bowling or miniature golf. I'll brag and taunt, all in good fun of course. The funny thing is, it does get inside of people's heads and I've often beat far superior bowlers for instance just by putting it their heads that I'm going to. Thanks for the life tip, Mr. Ali.
This is a true story.
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