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Are epiphanies a welcome mat
of acceptance and understanding?
A spark which culminates in
"Wow, I could have had a V-8?"
Do they release burdens
from the human condition
of how and why?
So very much in my heart;
pent up emotions, trying
to extricate the hurt;
or is it hate?
I don't want to hate,
nor do I want to feel the pain
which rips your dreams
and your soul in
irretrievable pieces
There was a time
where thoughts stayed suspended
in a murky fluid of suffocation
I couldn't leave,
nor could I stay
The balmy nights were once eternal hell
with a discordant pitch
of wishing he was there, there in my arms
In the still and dark silence,
my thoughts would spin
like a change-up fast ball
Its velocity altering with each...
each vivid memory
We loved once, or so I thought
Once... distant and far removed
But war on the homefront
is often brutal,
especially within the confines
of one's fallible soul
Four walls have a tendency
to cast skewed shadows
of gnarled thoughts
and parroting birds like ravens
on Poe's transom
Walls that mock and seethe and reverberate
the sound of pounding fist
irretrievable words,
erroneous justified betrayal,
and bruised flesh
For me, it is now the solitude
of singleness;
being the only person on the porch
where the sun shines
bright and clear
Focus is on gratitude and grace
The birds begin to produce
a symphony of peace,
of well being
Tranquility has a way
of allowing thoughts
to think themselves down so deep,
one begins to appreciate
who they are
and quieten the negative chatter
that shattered their heart;
accepting with "grace and poise"
hard lessons learned
I practice harmony
in the silence of my thoughts
and have come to understand
his trials, his fears, his pain, his horror
is no less important than mine
I rise from my morning ritual of coffee,
sunshine, and warmth-
take a deep breath, sigh...
There is no wrestling with brokenness
but celebrating wholeness
This is my epiphany.
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