Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of sexual content.
When I feel I've lost my way
and my thoughts begin to stray
from the path described as being "straight and narrow";
to the Good Book I return,
and there it is I learn
with God's help, how to fly straight as an arrow.
Now my second favorite story
that demonstrates God's glory
is found right there in Genesis nineteen.
It's just a simple plot
about a godly man called Lot
and a village full of men that were quite mean.
The men, they took a liking
to Lot's house guests (men quite striking)
and demanded that he give them up for sex;
In a second Lot decided
(and he's not a bit misguided)
the answer wasn't really that complex:
"I have two daughters, they are virgins -
if in doubt consult their surgeons;
I think it best that you rape them instead.
These men are guests within my house -
take my girls, don't be a louse;
I think you'll find they're much more fun in bed."
And God was pleased with Lot
so He moved him off the plot;
with his daughters and his wife, Lot fled the town.
The four received God's pity
and they fled that wicked city
as the fire and the brimstone tumbled down.
But Lot's wife could not resist
for her old life might be missed -
she turned and looked in petulant revolt.
So God, He got quite mad
(now you know this must end bad)
and she turned into a big pillar of salt.
Here might end this tale of mine
were it not for love of wine;
one night the girls went looking for some fun.
Then poor old Lot was sunk -
they got him drunker than a skunk
and had sex with him, their good old granny's son.
Full of bounty is your cup
when your daddy knocks you up.
They had two boys, and here my story ends;
except for me to say
in my flippant kind of way
"Why couldn't they have just remained as friends?"
And so my child, you know
when you're feeling kind of low -
and think that somehow you have lost the plot;
To the Bible you must look -
take your wisdom from that book
and find favor in God's eyes, just like Lot.
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Author Notes
This is my second favorite Bible story. My first is Noah, but I want to save that for another time.
The NSW State government in Australia, backed by a conservative Christian Prime Minister is sacking hundreds of professionally trained school psychologists and social workers in order to employ religious education "teachers" to teach stories like this one. They have also taken a number of actions in an attempt to dump ethics classes in favor of religious education (currently there is a choice). Is this a good thing? No doubt some would say "yes" - this story is for them.
I haven't substantially changed any of the details, simply put it into the form of a poem. If you would like to check for yourself - read Genesis 19.
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