Excellent flash fiction in 533 words Short : Uri's Furies by Bill Schott Flash Fiction Writing Contest contest entry

Once upon a time there were three young female police officers who were given very important assignments -- NOT. So, now they work for me; my name is Uri. "Good morning, Furies," greeted Uri, from a telephone speaker. "Morning, Uri!" said one fury after another. "We have some vengeance to bring down on some haters out there today, girls." "Did someone hurt their mama, Uri?" asked Meg. "Are we going to destroy a couple patricidal punks, Uri?" asked Tisiphone. "Can I kill 'em, Uri? Can I kill'em good, like you showed me?" asked Alec. "Yes, Furies. You can have a ball ripping and tearing these two fellows apart." "Where are they, Uri?" asked Meg. "Listen, Furies, and I'll bring you up to date. There are two brothers named Melendez. Several years ago they plotted and carried out the murder of their parents. Now Lyle and Erik are spending life terms in Mule Creek State Prison and Pleasant Valley State Prison, respectively. They are not expected to ever see the outside again." "Can we go in and hurt them in the prison, Uri?" asked Alec. "Will sawing off their fingers and toes be an option?" queried Tisiphone. "Can I marry one of them and then refuse conjugal visits?" asked Meg. "Yes, yes, Furies; you can do all of those things." "How do we get into the prisons, Uri?" asked Meg. "Should I use a hacksaw or would a circular saw be better? Are there power outlets in the cells? I better get a battery operated one? What kind of blades are best for finger and toe removal?" asked Tisiphone. "What's a conjugal?" asked Alec. "Ha, ha. Okay, Furies; I'm glad you're so eager. You will enter these institutions as prison guards. I know the wardens in both facilities and they've agreed to let my agents in to mess these sadistic siblings up." "You have a dangling particle, Uri." stated Meg. "Well, my robe is open, Meg, but you can't see me." "Your sentence, Uri. It should be 'mess up these sadistic siblings.'" corrected Meg. "Which reminds me, Meg; you should marry Lyle and then edit all of his correspondences." "Maybe she can marry both Lyle and Erik and drive them insane," added Alec. "She can correct their spelling and usage, then send each brother the other brother's letter. They'll be mad with revision." "Brilliant, Alec." said Uri. "Those boys can have 'conjugate verbs' visits." "Should I leave them a few fingers to write with?" asked Tisiphone. "Dangling preposition," stated Meg. "How can you see me?" asked Uri. "Not you, Uri. Tisiphone." "Jeez! Those boys will cut off their own fingers after writing to you for a while," said Tisiphone. "Okay, Furies. It looks like we have a plan. Megara, you will marry both brothers and drive them insane with incessant grammar correction." "Yes, Uri." "Tisiphone, you will remove their fingers and toes once they are both suitably insane. " "Will do, Uri." "Alecto, you will come to where I am and be instructed in what conjugal is." "You shouldn't end a sentence with a verb, Uri," offered Meg. "Uri and I will conjugate verbs when I see him," chirped Alec. "Happy avenging, Furies." "Bye, Uri!" in unison.   Author Notes THE Furies were three netherworld goddesses who avenged crimes against a parent. The Furies were born of just such a crime, being sprung from the blood of Uranus, when he was castrated by his son Kronos. The wrath of the Furies manifested itself in a number of ways. The most severe of these was the tormenting madness inflicted upon a patricide or matricide. Murderers might suffer illness or disease.

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