Background
However, honesty must build a better relationship and create more trust in families.
Chapter 40 (Word)
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There is a whole lot extra can be written about the folks last days. It all started with my Dad's major stroke. Amazingly, he recovered from that enough to attend his youngest son's (my) Wedding, in March 1987. Mum and Dad, from the early 80's had spent their re-united matrimonial years in the beginning, between Mum's place in Ryde, then later in Bargo, in her replacement property, after she sold the Ryde house - and Grawin in the North West of our state.
Later on, Dad was in and out of Nursing Homes and hospitals over a period of time, being looked after by nursing staff or by my eldest brother Richard. My sister also had a big part in their care when they both ended up in the Nursing Home. Dad, it would seem, would have preferred to spend his dying days up on the 'field'. However, it turned out not to be.
We all did as much as we could to visit Dad, initially, then Mum, at the Nursing Home. I will not try to make excuses, however, in Louise's and my situation, it was quite difficult to manage - visiting more than once every couple of months or so. The Nursing Home was not "down the street" or in the next suburb. It was about 60 miles or 100 km each way distant. Added to this was the particularly unkind roads we had to travel due to a lot of heavy traffic that made it about an hour and twenty minutes trip each way.
We often joked and said that one day long after Mum and Dad are gone, the authorities will come up with some new "you-beaut*" as we say here, freeway or something that will cut the trip in half. Wouldn't you know it! Not long after both parents had passed on - along came the M7 - a new tollway joining up our M4 Freeway with the Southern Main Interstate Highway 31, the Hume Highway. This ran all the way to Melbourne, the capital of our Southern State, Victoria. The new Motorway cut twenty minutes each way off the old trip.
One day I visited Dad in the Nursing Home. As it happened, Mum was a lot better in those days (at that time, also resident at the NH) but she had gone on a bus trip with other residents of the NH.
Dad was alone, so I was able to have that time with just the two of us. We had prayed for my Dad’s salvation, for over 40 years. On this day I had a list of salvation verses, I had prepared some time prior to the day. First I asked him:
"Dad, would you like to be in Heaven with me and Mum someday?"- HE SMILED AND SAID...
"YES!!" (Mum had been saved in 1959 when I was 8, and not long after led me to Christ.)
A week or so after the visit with Dad, my sister called in, and she asked me:
"Did you read some Bible verses to Dad?" Now if you know my sister and what she was like - I had to decide, real quick; would I be honest and admit I had done what she asked? Or should I lie for my own protection! Praise God He gave me the Grace AND COURAGE to admit I had done it! Her reply was, "I wish you hadn't, as Dad doesn't like it!"
I KNOW WHO DID NOT LIKE WHAT I DID! And it wasn't Dad.
Below are the scriptures I shared with my father on that special day.
DAD'S VERSES (Quoted from King James Version of the Bible - ie "olde" British English.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that WHOSOEVER believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life
Isaiah 53:6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way, and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
Romans 3:10 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
I John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 2:9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come into him and will sup with him, and he with me.
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new
John 10:28 And I give unto them eternal life, and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
Dad passed away some weeks after that - and before the service Deanne (sister) said -
"I hope we don't get 'bible-bashed' today!" After the service, I asked her,
"Did we get as you were afraid we would?"
She said,
"NO, IT WAS A LOVELY SERVICE!" I know why it was a lovely service as right at the end the preacher told us Dad had come to Christ THREE WEEKS BEFORE HE DIED! I wondered how long after I shared those Scriptures with him that was, hm!
At 3 am the morning Dad passed away in the Nursing Home, I woke up here at home - at that exact time. A very eerie feeling, when I later found out that fact.
And Now...about Death and dying...
Hey! Wait a minute I'm not dead yet! Well, we know that; it's just that we want to discuss a few things here before we proceed. `cause you see when you think about it; it's hard to work out what will be the cause of the er...the END! Yes, that awful word.
However, I must say this: it could be more of an awful word to some than it is to others. We will go into this big question in more detail later in this chapter. The problem I want to discuss right now is: …I wonder how I will pass from this life? What will be the principal cause of my demise?
I mean, let's look at it realistically. My father had a number of strokes...these are the big ones because he had also had many smaller ones which may not have caused as much damage. Then there's my mother; who had several thromboses as well as suffering high blood pressure for quite a few years. I can't remember what caused my grandparents deaths, on both sides. My grandmother on my mother's side had a gall bladder operation only a short time comparatively before she died. However, there was a question in our minds, at least, as to why she died; even to this day. She had been a determined sort of person, of strong stock. Somehow, after the operation, she went down quite quickly. I suppose we could make all sorts of guesses as to why this happened. I can't accept that the operation was the only cause, though.
Just for a commercial break, here:
I cannot for the life (pardon the pun) of me understand why, when someone dies as a result of a break in; murder or domestic violence of the family kind; everyone says "oh so-and-so was a nice person" etc. Maybe it's their way of making small talk. Because I guess in the case of a break-in whether the victim was a nice person or not would make no difference to the would-be thief. Perhaps it's the media's fault for interviewing all and sundry in the hope of getting a scoop!
OR PERHAPS FOLKS ARE JUST BLAMING GOD (who until this very moment, they never believed in any way!)
People throughout their lives are repeatedly challenged by their need to get right with God. The problem is: quite often they will say to themselves,
"I'll wait until I've had my fun and I get old and then I'll get right with God."
The trouble is: someone may break in and murder you; or some mad driver may wipe you out on the highway - before you have a chance to "make peace with God.". Then! ....It's too late! After all - We are always just one heartbeat away from Eternity.
Author Notes
Sharing a few of the struggles in dealing with the decline in my parents' lives. Thanks to my brother or his wife for the picture of my Dad and Mum with the Grandkids from Bodalla on the South Coast of our State. Taken in our backyard at the family home in Ryde, in the 80's. Mum sold this house in 1986 for $AUD101,999, and it recently sold again after a LOT of renovation by the new owers for....wait for it...$AUD1.9M. For Americans benefit the exchange back then might have been based on our dollar in Aussie being equal to around 80c $USD.
*you-beaut...is one example of Aussie expression, we recently learned trying to be abolished by the more politically correct linguisticians...meaning grouse or even great!
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