Background
Eighteen year old Lisa is very nervous about the number of celebrities Nick has invited to his fabulous home in the Isle of Man for their engagement party. She is determined not to let him down.
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By the time Lisa walked into the lounge, quite a few people had already arrived. They all looked up when she made her entrance, and many of them gasped. She looked absolutely stunning.
She had put her hair up in much the same way as she had when she wore the red dress, and the sapphire and diamond necklace and earrings Nick had bought her in London matched the rich royal blue of her dress perfectly. The dress clung to every part of her body, and there was no question that she was not only the most beautiful woman there, she was the sexiest as well. Every eye was on her, but she felt the critics ready to carve her up - should she put a foot wrong.
She walked over to Nick with slow sensuous steps, the skirt of the dress making a swishing noise as she moved. As the rest of the guests scrutinised her from every angle, she put her arm through his and looked up at him with the adoration he deserved.
There was a photographer there from ‘Okay’ magazine who took several pictures of Nick and Lisa before starting on the many celebrities who had already arrived. Within half an hour there were over a hundred people there, and Nick proudly introduced her to every one of them.
After an hour Lisa reached up and whispered conspiratorially in Nick's ear.
“I just love these small parties, don't you?”
He burst out laughing and bent over and kissed her on the lips, much to the delight of the photographers and everyone else there. They made the perfect couple, and everyone seemed to be pleased that Nick had at last found the woman of his dreams.
The food and champagne flowed all evening, and the noise of the guests laughing and talking increased as the night went on. Lisa hadn't seen Nick for about fifteen minutes, so she went into the games room where she found him talking to an attractive blonde woman who looked about the same age as him. Lisa studied the woman as she walked towards them, and felt that there was something familiar about her face. She couldn't put her finger on it, but Lisa knew she'd seen her before.
Nick looked slightly uneasy as Lisa walked up. He seemed even more nervous when he introduced them.
“Lisa, this is Hannah, a very good friend of mine - from way back.”
From the look on his face, it was easy to work out that Hannah had once been a lot more than a friend. Lisa held out her hand, and Hannah shook it as she studied her face.
“I believe that you're still at school, Lisa?” Hannah said condescendingly.
If her question was supposed to undermine Lisa's confidence, Lisa was determined not to let it.
“Yes I'm studying for ‘A’ levels at St. Michael's. I'm only there for a year.”
Hannah patted Nick on the arm, and Lisa noticed that her eyes were slightly bloodshot, as though she'd been crying.
“Well done, Nick - brainy and beautiful, a rare combination.”
Lisa noticed the look of embarrassment on Nick's face. If they had been lovers, she could understand Hannah's resentment. She must hate her for taking Nick away from her.
Lisa tried making polite conversation until Nick was called over by the waiter to discuss something to do with the food, leaving her and Hannah alone. Lisa was still trying to place her. Hannah's face was so familiar, only she was older than the memory Lisa had in her head.
“I'm sure I know you from somewhere,” Lisa said, as they struggled to carry on a conversation in Nick's absence.
Hannah shook her head. She couldn't recall meeting Lisa before.
Suddenly Lisa remembered, and when she did, she understood why it had taken her so long. She had tried so hard to forget that day…
“Did you use to be a model?” Lisa asked, remembering the beautiful images staring back at her as she made her way through to Sarah Peter’s office at the modelling agency.
Hannah looked down at her hands and thought bitterly about the words 'use to be'. Was it that obvious she no longer was? She tried to hide her resentment.
“Yes,” she answered simply, not wanting to discuss it further.
Not put off, Lisa carried on.
“Did you work for an Agency in Chelmsford called ‘Tip Top?’”
Hannah looked back at Lisa, surprised that she knew.
“Yes, I used to live there. That’s where I met Nick. I modelled for one of the brochures for his Fitness studios.”
Lisa was pleased she'd remembered, but confused at Nick being associated with Chelmsford in any way. There was so much she didn't know about him.
“Nick didn't live in Chelmsford, did he?” she asked.
Hannah looked back at her, understanding why Lisa might think that he did after what she’d just said.
“No, I did. Nick was based in London then, but we used to meet up there occasionally.”
Lisa was relieved. The thought of Nick having anything to do with Chelmsford made her feel uneasy. There was an uncomfortable silence until Hannah came straight to the point.
“Do you love him?”
Lisa was caught off guard by the question, and was just about to answer when Hannah continued.
“Of course you do, otherwise you wouldn't be marrying him- would you?”
Lisa could feel her hackles rising. She didn't like the suggestion that she could be marrying Nick for any other reason. She stared back at Hannah with disdain.
“You're absolutely right, but what's that got to do with you?”
Hannah looked back at her and her eyes misted over.
“I've loved him for years. I know what he went through the last time when you said you'd marry him and you ended up running off with that boy. Nick nearly went mad trying to find you.”
If Hannah was trying to make Lisa feel even guiltier than she already did, she was succeeding. She looked down at her hands while Hannah continued.
“I just need to know that you really mean it this time, and that you really want to marry him. If you don't, then let me know, so that I can be ready to pick up the pieces again.”
Lisa was rendered speechless. They watched Nick walking back towards them and they both tried to smile, but Nick looked at them and sensed the tension between them. He hoped Hannah hadn't said anything to upset Lisa, and he steered her away to the other side of the room, leaving Lisa on her own.
She was still shaken by her confrontation with Hannah, and she went back to the bar to get a glass of white wine, the novelty of the champagne having worn off. As she waited for the barman to serve her, she felt a hand on her shoulder and thought it must be Nick, but it wasn't. It was a ruddy-cheeked man in his sixties with a large Scotch in his hand, which nearly went all over her as she turned round to face him. Lisa couldn't help noticing that he was very drunk by the way he was slurring his words.
“My God, that Nick is a lucky bugger!”
He was staring at her breasts, which were outlined perfectly by the fine material of her dress.
“Best pair of tits on the Island, I reckon...” he chortled drunkenly, much to Lisa's embarrassment.
To make matters worse, he tapped the shoulder of the man standing next to him, making him turn round.
“What do you reckon, John, are they not the best pair of tits you’ve seen in a long time?”
The other man had the courtesy to look embarrassed.
“Yes, Julian, very nice,” he replied, before turning back to the bar.
Julian staggered closer to Lisa, who was by now trapped with her back to the bar, and placed his sweaty hand on her right breast. Lisa was mortified and tried to push him away. She looked about furiously for Nick and assumed he must still be with Hannah next door. Julian's hand was back trying to grope her again, and this time Lisa slapped him hard on the face.
You could have heard a pin drop. It was as though someone had used a remote control to cut the volume. Lisa felt her face turn scarlet and she grabbed her glass, escaping past him to the other side of the room.
Someone must have hit the button again because the volume of voices returned to normal. She took a gulp of wine and looked again through the sea of faces for Nick when somebody spoke behind her.
“You shouldn't mind Julian, he's always getting pissed and groping some poor female. He can't help himself when he's had a few jars. That's just the way he is.”
Lisa turned to look at Julian's defender. He was tall and stocky, and Lisa recognised him from the television. Nick had introduced him and his wife to her earlier. She wasn't interested in whether Julian could help himself or not, she was furious.
“I can't believe that you find that kind of behaviour acceptable. Do you men treat all the women like that on the Island-- like a piece of meat?”
He laughed at her outburst.
“Of course not, but surely you must be used to it by now? I would have thought that posing for the kind of magazines that you do, you would have been hardened to the likes of Julian by now.”
Lisa stared back at him in disbelief.
“What are you talking about? What magazines?”
He looked at her with a cynical smile on his face.
“Well, to be honest, I've only seen the one with the pictures of you lying on a bed with nothing on but a pair of see through panties. Ken Tyler has just been showing them to me in the snooker room. I'm not sure what magazine it was. I don't go in for that sort of thing myself.”
Lisa stared back at him, her head swimming as the enormity of what he had just said hit her. Liam must have sold the pictures to a porn magazine.
When she remembered lying on the bed, her eyes closed as she tried to look provocative on the slimy satin sheets, she felt sick. If someone at the party had the magazine, she had to find them, before he showed them to Nick.
“I think you must be mistaken, I've never posed for a magazine…The only modelling I've ever done was for a catalogue.” she said, trying to convince him that it wasn't her. He shook his head and pointed to the small heart shaped mole at the top of her left breast.
“No, it's definitely you all right. Ken only brought it to the party to see if it really was, and that rather attractive little mole confirms it all, I’m glad to say.”
Lisa turned and ran into the games room to find Nick, wishing that he had let her tell him what had happened in Chelmsford. He would be bound to get the wrong idea from the pictures if he saw them, but Nick was nowhere to be seen. Lisa asked several people if they knew where he was, but no one seemed to know.
At last she found Mrs Farrell, who told her that Nick had gone to his study, and had asked not to be disturbed…
As Lisa approached the door, she felt her heart beating loudly in her chest. If Nick had seen the pictures, she could imagine what he must be thinking. When she knocked on the door, there was no answer, so she took a deep breath and went in.
Nick was sitting at his desk, the open magazine in front of him, his face grey and tense. He looked up as Lisa came into the room and smiled bitterly.
“Oh look it's my wonderful fiancée - the porn queen...” he muttered sarcastically, as she stood staring back at him from the open doorway.
“Why don’t you come in and tell me how many more sleazy magazines my sweet little virgin has modelled for, so I can go out and buy a few copies!”
Lisa shut the door behind her and went over to him. She tried to put her hand on his shoulder but he shrugged it away.
When she looked down at the pictures in the magazine in front of him, she could understand why. She looked like a whore.
“I can explain, Nick…”
He looked up at her and shook his head.
“I don't think you can, Lisa.”
He looked back at the pictures before returning her gaze.
“Have you any idea how I felt when Ken showed me these?” he asked, his voice catching in his throat.
Lisa stared back at him pleadingly, hoping he would understand.
“Believe me, Nick, I had no idea these pictures would turn up in a magazine. The photographer who took them conned me into posing for them. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't have a choice...”
Nick's hand rose to his face as he tried to hide the pain and humiliation he was feeling. It was almost worse than the last party he'd arranged when she didn't turn up at all, and he had sat in the same chair while Hannah had told everyone that the party was cancelled. The pictures were bad enough, but the thought that his friends had not only seen them, but had been turned on by them as well, filled him with a resentful anger.
“Have you any idea what it feels like knowing every man out there wants to fuck you?” he asked bitterly, looking up at her with disgust.
Lisa looked at his tortured face, and seeing the pain in his eyes, tried to think of something to say to reassure him.
“I don't want anyone but you Nick - believe me.”
Nick jumped up from the chair and took Lisa roughly by the shoulders. He wanted to believe her, but nothing she had said or done when they'd made love the day before had proved it to him.
“Then show me!” he shouted hysterically. “Show me that you want me.”
She moved closer to him and raised her lips to his, wanting to prove that she did.
Consumed by the way the pictures had both disgusted and excited him, Nick grabbed her, and his mouth crushed down hard against hers, his hands searching frantically for the opening at the back of her dress. When Nick felt her naked skin through the fine material, he groaned, feeling the familiar hardness in his groin. He had ached for her all day, and the pictures on his desk only confirmed that he was not the first. He had tried to convince himself otherwise, refusing to face up to the truth, but during the only time she’d allowed him to make love to her, she had been cold and tense…
Lisa looked at him and felt frightened when she saw the expression on his face.
'Nick-- we better get back to the party, they’ll be wondering where we've got to,” she pleaded, and managed to get away from the vice-like grip he had on her.
As she turned her back on him he grabbed her again and pushed her over the desk so that she was forced to stare at the pictures of her fondling her breasts and pouting with a look of simulated rapture on her face. The sight of her lying almost naked on the disgusting bed brought the whole horrible memory of Liam trying to rape her flooding back and made her feel physically sick. She tried to turn her head away.
“How come you can't look like that for me, Lisa?” Nick asked coldly from behind her, forcing her to look again at the pictures now inches away from her face.
Feeling Nick pulling up the skirt of her dress to her waist, exposing her near nakedness underneath, Lisa tried to stand up, but he pushed her back down on to the desk with one hand and unzipped his trousers with the other.
The more she struggled, the more he seemed turned on as the sight of Lisa's naked body on the satin sheets stared back at him. Unable to hold back any longer, he entered her with the brutality of a rapist.
Lisa cried out as he rammed into her again and again, reaching deeper into her body every time, until all she could feel were white-hot needles of pain. She thought she was going to pass out and prayed that he would stop, but he only continued to ram into her even more viciously than before.
“Tell me again that you want me Lisa!”
Lisa cried out as he crushed her body into the sharp edge of the desk.
“I want you Nick….I want you…” she cried, hoping that he would stop, but he couldn't. He had passed the point of no return. His rhythm only increased and Lisa felt as though her insides were being torn apart.
“Tell me that you love me Lisa!”
Lisa shut her eyes and prayed for release.
“Tell me!”
She couldn't take anymore. The pain was unbearable and the room was beginning to spin all around her.
“I love you Nick,” she cried over and over again…until Nick filled her with one last excruciating thrust.
Lisa looked down at the pictures in front of her on the desk where her tears had made dark circles on the cheap paper.
She had paid dearly for their existence…
