Where the river runs down, through our small country town -
One school and an ambulance station;
Plus a servo, a pub and place that serves grub -
There’s a courthouse of high reputation.
In the field of the law, one Augustus McGraw
Spoke wisely with true erudition.
As the judge in this town he sent many men down
And justified each imposition.
“It’s my job,” he would say, “to make criminals pay;”
His growling voice gritty as gravel.
“In a courtroom of mine, you had best toe the line.”
And he’d silence the room with his gavel.
Then one day to his court a young speedster was brought;
Her name was Roberta McGlashan.
She was tall, she was sweet; from her crown to her feet,
She dressed in the latest of fashion.
As she stood ‘fore the judge it was hard to begrudge
A tear for this winsome young filly.
“Maybe this time you’ll learn,” said his Honour, so stern.
“Exceeding the limit was silly.”
So, Roberta she sighed, and, “Your Honour,” she cried,
And she batted her lashes quite cutely.
Then the buxom young wench smartly bowed to the bench,
Exploiting her assets astutely.
Well, a tear glistened there on her features so fair,
A crystal clear sign of repentance;
Mr Justice McGraw clearly liked what he saw-
He paused before passing his sentence.
“I can see that you’ve learned, so this case is adjourned.
Come see me for clarification.
When the courtroom is clear, in my rooms over there,
We’ll work towards mutual elation.”
Well, Roberta and Gus might have settled things thus,
Conjoined in successful class action,
If it weren’t for a hitch, just the tiniest glitch
Preventing complete satisfaction.
Soon the two were alone and they’d turned off the phone,
T’was time for full frontal disclosure,
When an obvious knob proved Roberta was Rob
And prone to indecent exposure.
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