Exceptional A woman examines the truth of her life. Grammy's Memoirs 2018 : I was born into a loving family by Mustang Patty

"Reparenting" was a strange term. Jenny shook her head in wonder at the shrink's suggestion. Knowing how she loved to write, he'd challenged her to create a story of the life she truly wanted for herself. This was the first assignment of her journey. Dr. Peters prepared her that these were only the first baby steps of many strides on a long road. Jenny sat at the keyboard and struggled with how to begin. She finally started to type: Once upon a time a baby girl was born to a family who loved her. They had looked forward to her birth ever since they knew of her existence. This differed from the house where every family member viewed her birth as a mistake. No one wanted another child in the family. They all saw her as a nuisance. Her mother loved to cuddle. She shared the new baby sister with her other children. Together, they would watch her take a bottle or wonder at the tiny fingers and toes. She didn't remember the early years, but to hear the stories that were told whenever they were together, she had been a huge burden to all of them. She cried and demanded attention. Their lives had been going so well before she came. The house they lived in was just right for four people and a fifth made it crowded. Proud to be a father again, her dad hurried home from work to help with the new arrival. He loved watching her tiny rosebud mouth when she yawned or cried. He found her enchanting. Her father had pretty much ignored her. After her birth, he started drinking more and he came home later and later. He complained about the noise, the expense, and the smell of the new baby. As the years passed and the little girl grew, she was surrounded by love. Having an older brother gave her someone to look up to. He loved taking his baby sister out in the yard to play and talk. She listened to every word as if he were a god, and it was obvious that she adored him. Her brother was almost ten years older and she couldn't remember a single time they spent time alone together. He started working at 14, and her memories of him were split between his frantic attempts to stay out of the way of their father's fists and coming home from work late. He was always hot and tired. Nasty comments were his only words for her. She soon came to see that was how he expressed love. Sisters make the best friends. In spite of the age difference, her older sister made time to be with her. They talked of things like boys, their futures and clothes. Her sister laughed at the things she said and took extra pride in her good grades. Always cheering for her in whatever endeavor she was taking on, her sister was her biggest fan. Jenny's sister was her worst enemy. Jealous from the first moment they brought her home; her sister took every opportunity to hurt Jenny. She rarely complimented Jenny on anything she did and was malicious in her comments about clothes and makeup. When Jenny found out that her sister was involved in an improper relationship with their father, she tried to factor that information into the equation of their relationship. Years passed and the family formed a tight unit. Together they were involved in the children's' activities and both parents were committed to making sure the children received the tools they needed to make it in the world. Their father left for good when Jenny was twelve. He spent some time in jail when the relationship with her sister came out, but then he worked his way back into their lives again. He even stopped drinking for a period of time to fool everyone into believing he changed. Things were looking rosy. One day she came home from school to find him home alone. He was sitting at the dinette table with an open bottle of scotch and a beer chaser. Looking through pictures, he had come across a photo taken while he was 'away.' There was a reflection of a man taking a picture of her mother and he demanded to know who that was. He wanted to know if her mother dated anyone during the time he was gone. He held Jenny's wrists and when she answered his questions, he punished her for her mother's sins. She never could remember exactly what happened that afternoon, but her mother came home to find her hiding under her brother's bed. It was that afternoon that her mother, brother, and sister told her father to leave. Lucky to have grown up surrounded by love, she felt self-confident because her family nurtured all of her talents and dreams. She went to college and her parents made up the difference between the cost and the scholarships she won. She majored in Education and became an English teacher. She loved to open the minds of children and her life was fulfilling. Jenny read what she wrote and laughed to herself. Her mother remarried before she finished high school and no one cared about her good grades or desire to go to college. Her mother refused to fill out the paperwork for financial aid because she was afraid that she and her new husband would be audited by the IRS. Fleeing to the Army, her life had gone on a different path. She never did become a teacher and career-wise, her life was empty. Finishing that first assignment for her doctor, Jenny already had a better understanding of herself. She wished she could show the prose to her mother or sister, but her mother had died and her sister didn't want to talk about the past. Her brother dealt with his own demons, and she didn't want to burden him with hers. She closed the notebook and cried for the little girl who could have been. Recognized Author Notes 1000 word count. I originally wrote this story in 1999 for another writing site.

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