It’s been so long, I feared the worst.
I felt so full, I thought I’d burst.
My belly, like a poisoned pup,
could win the phantom pregnant cup.
I swallowed jollop, castor oil,
they'd help me push and grunt and toil.
The aches and pains inside my guts
were sending shock waves to my nuts.
Yeah, constipation really sucks,
it makes me swear with c…s and f…s.
It must be days since I last shat,
had up my asshole crawled a rat?
And now I think I’m going to puke,
back pressure rising like a nuke.
Boak, slaver, vomit, spew it out,
liquid laugh, coarse gurgling shout.
But maybe that’s relieved the block,
my bowels burst open, what a shock!
Evacuation, such a treat!
The toilet’s full of turds, replete.
You are the source of such relief,
delivery beyond belief.
