FanStory.com - The Burden of Survivalby davisr (Rhonda)

Background
This book is a compilation of survival stories from members of FanStory. I invite you to add a chapter if so moved.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

From Invictus by William Ernest Henley

"Rhonda, I can't do this anymore. Jesus, please take away the pain."

I held Wayne's head against my chest and prayed with him. Tears flowed from both our eyes as I rocked him back and forth. His cry became a mantra, his tears a bitter release.

As you probably know, my husband, Wayne, is a stroke survivor. But, the hours leading into this status were only the beginnings of his struggles. He faces physical, occupational and speech therapies, and unfathomable pain.

A once strong farmer and man must watch as his sons, the very ones that rescued him from his tractor on October 23rd right at noon, feed his cattle, mow his pasture and drive his red Chevy truck.

Will he get better? Most likely. As I said before, he's been beating the odds all along. But, he now has internal bleeding from the strong blood thinners they have him on as part of his stroke treatment. He remains in a fight for his life and mobility.

Is he alone as he adjusts to a new brand of life -- one he fought so hard to keep? Are there other survivors out there that are grateful to be alive or out of a bad situation, but just aren't the same anymore? Are there others in pain?

Indeed!

I've read your stories, some from this book, others just reading your posts or comments. I've talked to other people who have survived unbelievable situations. My friends, it takes courage to keep going after disaster. I know it personally, maybe you do, too.

I see those with heartaches after surviving loss, physical weakness, loss of mobility, pain, blindness, PTSD... the list goes on. I see you. I hear you. I feel you.

Are the reprecussions, the sacrifices so loved ones can still keep us around, worth the pain? It was for me. If you ask Wayne, when he's not suffering another nighttime headache, he'll say, yes. But, to be honest, sometimes he isn't so sure.

If that's you. If you get to that point when the pain just doesn't seem worth the battle, remember the fighter inside that helped you win the initial battle, the one that beat the odds.

Know that you are cherished.

I salute the survivors! You are our inspiration. We understand there are scars. They may help define our new normal, but they don't define us.