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I heard this little rumble, it came from near my bum,
Kind of melodious, and it prompted a little hum.
I turned 'round an' smiled a bit, no one had even heard,
Then I felt a lump, my God, I knew what had occurred..
Then I sensed a little smile it slid onto my face
As my effort filled the room,, it floated 'round in space
Eyes were shooting all around, seeking someone to blame
I quietly sat so still, relishing my fart's acclaim.
Girls gasped and guys turned pale, the teacher snapped bolt upright
Then he 'praded 'round the room, his face alive with fright.
An alarm rang loud, teacher frowned, an' called "All pens down.
'Vacuate 'meditly, face now sullen like a clown.
There are now fewer rummbles, the air is fresh once more,
The smell we men leave behind can't be denied for sure.
But the air is slowly clearing, no more heading for the door
Tomorrow Mum'll see my undies, stained, an' on the laundry floor
A Degree Of Peace
Money can't buy true happiness, nor can it bring real peace of mind
A search within my inner self is the one place where I can find
The problems in my daily life, the many things that truly grind
Money can't bring happiness, but it may bring a degree of peace
Each day on rising from my bed, I determine I'll start anew
Resolution feels firm an' strong, last night's drinks now dismissed from view
A new day's born, depression's gone, bad thoughts, dismissed like ice-cold stew
Preservation's today's new word, till doubt arrives, what should I do.
This looked so good written as verse, but reality's such a curse
I wrote this poem late last night, my mem'ry's getting so much worse
Thought I saved it on my I-pad, my mem'ries are in reverse
Money can't bring happiness, but it may bring a degree of peace.
It's really bad as you grow old, sometimes you think you've lost your mind
Last night had at least a dozen drinks, the truth it remains defined
Really had a super night met this girl, told me her name was 'Shell
After that there's so much more, but a gentleman doesn't tell
But memories occupy that empty space, where smiles still reside
Years gone so long ago, truth knows sometimes you cheated an' you lied
Let's not dwell on our many wrongs, but on those days when life was kind
Money can't bring happiness, but it may bring a degree of peace..
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