The Co-op hall looked at its best,
waiting to host the gangster fest.
The long trestle table was laid
with thirteen place settings displayed.
Two sons of a gun got there first,
Simon and Bart guffawed and cursed.
While waiting for others to join
they played gambling games with a coin.
The rest turned up one after one,
so hungry and hoping for fun.
When they were all seated He came,
imperious, filling His frame.
They all stood and gave Him a cheer,
applauding the fact He was here.
Jay Cray waved and took a brief bow:
"Welcome friends, the feast will start now."
He took His place in the centre,
to His right sitting John the Elder.
To His left sat Tam the doubter
with Jimmy G, called "The Shouter."
It was the last time they would dine
before Jay Cray started His Time.
Wise Peter, who knew JC's wish,
had ordered a supper with fish.
In came the girls from the chippy,
eye shadow, vivid red lippy.
The guys clapped their hands, stamped their feet,
for this was a wonderful treat.
Good-looking girls and succulent skate,
to tuck in the guests couldn't wait.
While three girls were topping each dish
with crispy chips and battered fish,
the others served sliced bread and marge,
sweet teas, mushy peas, portions large.
As JC's hand reached for the bread,
it touched Jodie's mitt, he turned red.
They'd all heard the Big Man just say:
"Who's fingers meet mine will betray."
And then the main door opened wide,
four constables plodded inside.
"You're under arrest, Cray," they said.
"Down on your knees, hands on your head."
JC glared at Jodie: "You snitch!
You sold me out, son of a bitch!"
John nutted Jodie, who stumbled.
Bart stiffed a cop, who then tumbled.
Simon and Drew shut off the light,
the others then started to fight.
In the darkness mimicking night
both Peter and JC took flight.
They crashed through a window in rear,
the waiting car roared into gear.
Careering down Main Street it sped,
while JC smiled, shaking his head.
"Well that was so close," breathed Jay Cray.
"I thought we might not get away."
"You really should trust me, Big Man,"
laughed Peter, "it was a good plan.
There's only one thing that I wish,
we'd managed to scoff some more fish!"
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Author Notes
Apologies to anyone who might be offended by this humorous allegory. Absolutely no sacrilege intended.
Fish supper = a traditional Scottish feast: battered fish, French fries, (chips) and all the trimmings.
Co-op = the Co-operative Society, a British working class icon, with halls to rent for festivities.
Time = a prison sentence.
Chippy = fish and chip shop, another great British tradition.
Lippy = lipstick.
Skate = a type of ray, a common chippy speciality.
Marge = diminutive version of margarine.
Nutted = headbutted.
Stiffed = punched.
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