FanStory.com - DUEL with the DEVIL - Chapter 32by Jim Wile

Recap of Chapter 31: Brian lies to Dr. Rieke when questioned about his poor performance lately, and Rieke accepts his explanation for now. Brian returns to his dorm and goes to see Scorch to buy more Oxy, because he is now out. Because he is in both physical and mental pain (for causing harm to come to Kimi in the lab), he takes a double dose, which becomes an overdose. He wakes up in the hospital to find Julia and Fran there. They tell him he OD’d and Daniel had found him seizing and called 911.

He and Julia have a very emotional scene in which he confesses he has lost all control and is a hopeless addict, while she does her best to comfort him. Together with Fran, the three decide he should try to get the spinal stimulator surgery immediately rather than wait until summer for it.

Dr. Eppig, the attending physician, warns Brian of the dangers of illegal drugs, especially when laced with fentanyl, and later releases him to Julia and Fran’s care.

Chapter 32

I began telling Fran and Julia about my relapse. “Jules, it was after a conversation we had almost two months ago now that I told you I was doing poorly since the accident in the gym but that I wasn’t planning to start taking Oxy again. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was heading toward a disastrous result this semester, and I was worried about flunking out. I thought maybe I could take a limited dose of Oxy—just enough to ease the pain so that I could study and salvage my classes, but getting that small taste of it again just served to whet my appetite for it.”

“So, you began increasing your dose,” she said.

I nodded. “I had originally planned to take just enough to ease my pain and get me through until the end of the semester, 12 weeks away, and I would get on the schedule to have that spinal cord stimulator device implanted as soon as I got home for summer break.”

“Where did you get the Oxy, and how did you pay for it?” asked Fran.

“I got it from a guy I know—a fellow student—and I paid for it with money from the trust.”

“Oh, Brian!” said Fran. “That money was earmarked for your education. Have you thought about what you’re going to do to replace it?”

“Not a whole lot. I figured I’d worry about that later. It’s a long time until my senior year when I might run out, but I was having a lot of pain now.”

“But it didn’t stop with ‘just enough to ease your pain,’ did it?”

“Look, I already said it didn’t!” Fran’s third degree was beginning to get on my nerves.

“Brian, I don’t mean to beat you up about it. I just want to make sure you aren’t fooling yourself about your ability to regulate it. It’s not easy to do. I’ve heard this story enough times on the job to know that once you get started again, it’s almost impossible to stop. And you just can’t trust what you buy on the street or in the dorm in your case. It’s not regulated, and all kinds of things can be mixed into it—in this case one of the most dangerous narcotics, fentanyl. You heard the doctor say it doesn’t take much to cause an OD.”

“I know, I know, Fran, but the damn stuff just kept calling to me to take more and more. I didn’t have the strength or the will to resist it. I’m an addict, but at least I know now that I can’t moderate it. I just shouldn’t take it at all.”

Julia said, “So what are you going to do until the end of the semester? It’s four weeks away, and you’ve got finals coming up in three weeks.”

“I don’t know. What do you think I should do?” When she didn’t answer right away, we both looked at Fran.

“If you ask me, I think you should schedule that surgery immediately. Don’t wait ‘til school is over. Tell the doctor the issue when you see him again this afternoon, and see if he can help you get it scheduled ASAP. It’s probably an outpatient procedure, and you may be off for only a day or so before you can return to class.”

“God, I just hope I don’t have to wait too long for it. What if it’s scheduled right during finals week?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you can work something out with your profs. I’m sure this kind of thing has happened before. Maybe if you were to stay around for a couple of weeks at the semester’s end, they may be willing to give you a makeup final before submitting your semester grades. I just don’t know.”

“Jules, what do you think?”

“I think the sooner you can get that pain under control, the better. What do you think about another stint in rehab too?”

“Well, I hope I can avoid that, but I won’t rule it out. I know I have a problem. That’s half the battle right there.”

“Maybe you could discuss this with the doctor when you see him and see what he recommends.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea too.” I looked with gratitude at Julia and Fran, the two closest people to me in the world. “What would I do without you guys?”

“You don’t have to think about that,” said Julia. “We’re all in for you, Brian, aren’t we, Fran?”

“We are. We just want what’s best for you. But you’ve got to want it for yourself too. It will be hard, but you’ll end up making life so much tougher for yourself if you don’t try your hardest to kick this thing that will eventually kill you. Afterwards, you’d no longer have to worry about it. But think of the impact that would have on Jules and me—the two people you would leave behind who love you.”

That caused a lump in my throat and brought tears to my eyes. “Thanks, guys,” I said as I reached my arms out to them, beckoning them to join me in a group hug. As I sat there in bed, they both bent down with arms extended, and we shared in an emotional embrace.

I discussed all this with Dr. Eppig later that afternoon when he came to check on me. He thought a stint in rehab or participation in a support group would be a good idea, and also said he would apprise my spine surgeon back home in Winston-Salem of the situation and urge him to schedule me as soon as possible for surgery to implant the device.

In the meantime, he would see that I got scheduled with a local practitioner to be fitted with a TENS unit which is an external electrical stimulation device, that should help tide me over until the surgery.

He also told me to throw away the Oxy I still had, and he gave me a prescription for a small amount to taper off with. He didn’t want me stopping cold turkey, as the withdrawal symptoms I would surely have after being on a high dose for two months would be extremely difficult to bear. And finals week was approaching fast.

Fran drove Julia and me back to my dorm and got me settled in there. Daniel was in the room when we got back, and I introduced him to Fran.

“It is very good to meet you, Francine. Brian has told me many good things about you,” he said shaking her hand.

“It’s great to meet you too, Daniel. I wish it could have been under better circumstances, but they are certainly better than they would have been had you not intervened the way you did. I thank you so much for saving my brother’s life.”

“He would surely have done the same for me. I just hope he will be okay now.”

I looked at him ruefully. “I guess I owe you an explanation for what happened yesterday.”

“Only if you care to share it. You do not owe me anything.”

“Still, I want you to know, and I also have a favor to ask you.”

“Anything at all I can do to help, I will. You are a very good friend.”

Before I began, Fran said she had to get back, and that between Julia and Daniel, I was in good hands now.

“Thank you so much for coming, big sis. I hate to keep putting you through this, and I promise I’ll do my best to beat this thing. I know I’ve said that before, so I guess time will tell. I’ll call you and let you know how things are going and when things get scheduled.”

“You take care, little brother, and I’ll wait to hear from you.” She hugged all of us goodbye, including Daniel, and left.

I then told Daniel the whole story of how I ended up in the hospital, even back to the time of the original car accident, which I had never really discussed with him before. Through it all, he had a sad look and gently shook his head a number of times.

When I was finished, he said, “I am very sorry to hear what you have been through, Brian. It is beyond my experience, so I do not quite know what to say. So, what is this favor you mentioned you want to ask me?”

“Believe it or not, to get off taking Oxy, you’ve got to take Oxy, but in decreasing doses. If you suddenly stop taking it completely after the amount of time I’ve been on it, it can be very tough on the body, so you have to taper off gradually. What I want to ask you is if I could give you a schedule and the pills to dole out to me? I can’t really be trusted with that quantity to take them at the prescribed amounts at the prescribed times. I’m going to need your help with that if you’re willing.”

“Of course, I will do what I can to help you. I will be sure to follow the schedule with great vigor.”

“I’m sure you will, and I thank you for that. You’re the best, man. Now, I’m starving. Anyone up for some dinner?”

(2 more chapters until the end of Part 1)