FanStory.com - The Executive Assistantby SimianSavant

5 years ago

While at the first round interview today for the new job I'd been after for ages, I met the most charming lady.

There were 20 of us to start with, in two groups of ten. I was pretty confident from my decades of experience, and being the gentleman I am, thinking she would play nice, I treated her with kid gloves during the group interview. At the least expected moment, she landed quite a blow that left me reeling. But this ended up making me like her all the more. If I get the job, I'm gonna remember this foxy lady. She seems to have spunk, and it makes me feel alive.

4 years ago

It's been a long and drawn out process for the cushy executive position I've been applying to, but it's in the final stretch. I'm one of the final two candidates now. I called up the foxy lady from last year who showed me up in that first-round interview and asked if she would be my executive assistant if I won the job. After asking some questions about my medical history, which seemed a little funny, she accepted.

3 1/2 years ago

I got the job. It was very close, but I called in some special favors and managed to knock out my competitor for the position. It's been a very busy first week. My gorgeous new assistant suggested we hire a hypnotist at the office, just for fun. More later.

3 years ago

There's been a lot of drama and criticism of my experience at work lately, even from my closest supporters, who accuse me of abandoning my principles. They're wrong, and I never make mistakes. But I can't quite remember what actually happened.

The new pills my assistant K's been giving me feel great though. I see rainbows and chocolate smiles whenever I take them, and my troubles melt away. I sent K on a trip to Paris as a reward. Now, if only I could remember where I put those codes.

2 1/2 years ago

More challenges at work today. A major competitor is trying to acquire one of our customers. I was going to take some action on it, but K told me it was under control, and increased the med doses I've been taking. Everything feels even better now.

2 years ago

We've been letting in lots of unqualified candidates to our organization lately and I tasked K to look into it. She smiled sweetly and told me she's on it.

1 1/2 years ago

The spending binge I've had us on has weakened our financial position, and folks are starting to complain. K told me it's ok though, and that I should just hire more people who look like her. That sounds like a great idea. K is always right. God, I love my executive assistant.

1 year ago

We've let so many people into our organization and prices have gone up so much that my job approval is in the toilet. But that's ok, because I disagree with the polls. And my dog keeps biting my bodyguards. They really need to toughen up.

3 months ago

My job is up for grabs again, and the same guy I had to compete with last time is back in contention. I'm gonna school this guy with my hand tied behind my back. K says I've got this, and she has my back 100%.

2 months ago

I crushed it in the debate last night. My wife said so. So did K. She gave me lot of those special pills for the debate, and I don't remember too much about that night, other than that I beat Medicare because those drugs are so damn good.

7 weeks ago

Lots of people are saying I should drop out of the running for the organization. But K has my back for sure. Still can't find those nuclear codes that are missing. I wonder who has them.

6 weeks ago

In the secret white room deep underground, everything is peaceful. I prerecorded a bunch of videos after K gave me some drugs, and now I just eat jello and meds all day long. Life is one big rainbow.

Sometimes, I wonder who's sitting upstairs at my old desk in the Oval Office.