FanStory.com - Internal Battleby wilkswrites

It was six in the morning when the phone rang. I was almost awake, but the ringing of my cell jolted me out of my sleep.

"Hey, you up? My brother asked.

"I am now, "What's up?"

"This situation is getting out of control. She is never home and when she comes home she's looking at me as if she can't stand me. All she wants to know is where is the money. She just wants my money and that's all."

My mind instantly, but quietly asked, "What money?" I knew that he was only giving her $160 every two weeks, and sometimes he couldn't afford to give her that. She admitted to me that she works three shifts to make ends meet, and because she doesn't want to be home. She stated that when she does come off of those shifts, she might get 15 minutes of his attention because he is constantly on his phone either gossiping or scrolling. She stated that once he does take notice of her, he says three words: "what's for dinner?"

She admitted to me that she is so sick of his non-attentiveness. She also stated that he never has any money, and that whenever they go on trips, she keeps a stash of money in a safe that he knows nothing about. I did notice that when we all traveled together, she always handed him the money whenever we stopped at a store because he doesn't usually have any additional funds. I remember once as they drove out of town to visit my mom, he called yelling and demanding help, because he was stuck on the road; ran out of gas. I remember thinking, what grown man takes his family on a ten hour trip and doesn't have enough money to fill up. Did I mention that she is 76 years old, 16 years his senior? The fact that she is still working triple shifts at her age, while he sits on his ass and waits for her to come home and cook really iritates me. To make matters worse, he is a cook by profession.

Because I have the intel, and have kept it quiet, I have been brewing inside for the right opportunity to say something to him. When he called me complaining about her, I listened with frustration in my soul. I heard him say, "if she don't want me, I'll just leave. His manner was that of a gangster of whom lacked empathy and love of a woman who has been with him for 26 years. A woman who he is constantly telling me loves him.

As he complained, I closed my eyes and prayed. "Dear God, Please guide my words as I address my brother about the matter of his wife."

I politely asked, "would you like my opinion?"

"Well, yeah," he said.

"Put your phone down! As we (him and I) drove together on this last trip, you spoke of how much she loves you and you her. What happened between then and now?"

"I don't know." It's like she's done with me. I don't know!"

"May I tell you what I witnessed when we were on this last trip together?"

"Sure."

I noticed that every single morning at at 7 am, your wife was up before anyone else. She and I cooked every meal, cleaned, set the table. While we did that, you were sitting at the head of the table with your phone in your hand, head down, as you scrolled. You never looked up to say, "honey is there anything that I can do to help you?" You simply scrolled.

Once the food was prepared, you only looked up when she asked what you wanted on your plate. You didn't even notice that she had no food on her own plate, and didn't start eating her own food until you had all that you needed on your plate.

Once she noticed that you were finished, she asked if you wanted more. If not, she collected your plate, my plate, and anyone else's plate that was empty. Then she started the process of washing dishes, wiping things down, putting away dishes, pots and pans all over again while you scrolled. In fact, I didn't even hear you say, 'Thank you' even once.

After breakfast, we all gathered to play a game. Everyone was engaged, but you were still scrolling. One question came up (what about technology do you wish you could destroy?) and it was your wife's turn to answer. Her response was clear as she stared at you - "That damn cell phone!"

At about 9pm, your wife gathered the laundry. I put my pile on the floor next to hers and waited for her to finish. At about 11pm, she came to me to say, "I washed and dryed your clothes and folded them and put them on your bed." I was stunned and I thanked her. I assurred her that she didn't have to do that, but she seemed very happy to be able to do so.

At 11:30, I was laying down on the couch watching TV in solitude. You requested to take a group photo. Apparently, my arthritic heel meant nothing to you as you barked at me for not moving fast enough. You then turned your attention to your wife who was sitting on the bench waiting for me to join in. You barked at her stating, "ARE YOU GONNA GIT UP AND TAKE THE PICTURE OR JUST SIT THERE?"

Her response was sweet and softspoken. "Well, why do I have to get up right now since your sister is not over here yet?"

"I agree. Why can't she wait til we are all assembled? She's tired!" I said.

You instantly got angry and stormed away like a 6 foot angry brat stating that you don't have to take anybody's picture as if taking a group shot was somehow advantageous to each of us.

Can you imagine how she must've felt that although she loves you, caters to your every need, that you don't pay her any attention during the course of the day, and then you yell at her as if she's a dog at the end of the day????

He spoke for the first time. "All I know is that nobody is gonna blame me for this. I gotta go!"

I've not heard from him in three or four weeks, which tells me that he is in his feelings, because we speak weekly. My prayer is that in due time, my words will soak into his heart and soul and he wakes up and pays more attention to her, chip in and take some of the burden off of her, recognize that she is 76 years old, and needs to retire. I think it's so sad that some people (usually men--sorry) have to feel pain in order to realize their own reality. Instead of thinking of what could be fixed, my dear brother is taking the defensive route. Instead of humbling himself and asking her what is wrong, he's having a stupid private battle all by himself. Instead of taking my advice, he will probably continue to scroll, take advantage of her kindness, and realize too late when she's doesn't come home anymore.