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Characters
Ned Nuckledd = Presidential candidate
Pons Maninoff = Ned's cousin and apologist.
Skar = (Oscar Kilo, Pons's clone) Vice Presidential nominee
LorDee (Loralie DeSilva) = Presidential advisor
MauMau = media coordinator
AA (Abecedari Ann) = Poet Laureate / Pons' girlfriend
Betty Biggins = campaign manager/ Ned's girlfriend
C1 (Campaign Aide 1)
Felix Fine = head of security
Powell Wrent = CNN News reporter
Even Ghali = Astrologer
Hed O'deklas = clone keeper
RFC (Radical Female Character)
Ron Rump = former president
MAGA Molly = presidential running mate
Job ByThen = current president
Cabala Harrassed = current VP
Swan Ham-n-cheese = FOX opiner
The scene continues on the sidelines with the staff and visitors chiming in on the debate with Ned, President ByThen, and Ronald Rump.
Ron : Once I am back in the saddle, I am going to eliminate the practice of cloning people at a whim.
Hed: (calling from the crowd) Why would you do such a thing?
Ned: Yeah! You ain't helpin' no one by 'liminatin' calonin'.
Ron : What about the debacle at your headquarters where your clone, Genocide Ambivolent Dude, ran amok killing people left and right.
Betty : We have never heard of this person.
Ned: No we ain't. The only person what done anythin' like that was GED.
Ron : That is probably who I'm talking about -- this Jed fellow.
Ned: Well, GED ain't no killer. Now I ain't gonna talk 'bout that zombie what D-red, the Agent a Deaf fer bugs and such, brung from wherever he come.
RFC speaks up from her hosting chair.
RFC: Did you say zombie? Did you say Agent of Death?
Ned: Fer bugs and such.
Job : (speaking to Ned) Wait, young man! Are you saying that you had a murderer at your campaign headquarters?
Felix: I can speak to that.
Betty: (to Felix) No one is asking you, Flicks.
Ron : Let the fellow talk, Miss Biggins. Meanwhile, make sure Molly gets your phone number.
Job : (speaking to Ron) Are you actually hitting on that woman?
Ron : They expect it.
Ned: Did I hear what I thunk I heert?
Ron : Did you hear "Ned, you're a loser!" Because that is what I heard.
Ned: Oh, okay then. I could a swore it was sumppin differ'nt.
Job : What about the murder and zombie and Agent of Death?
Ned: -- a bugs and such.
Ron : Ned, you're a loser! Wow, I heard it again.
Swan: It sounded like a majority of this capacity crowd, obviously drawn here to hear President Trump speak, is unable to control their opinion of the independent candidate.
Job: Their opinion of the candidate ought to be decided by them, Mr. Ham-n-cheese, not your slanted and mostly deceptive commentary.
Pons: (to Ned) Pssst! Ned! Change the subject and get it back on something else.
MauMau: Don't sweat it, Pons. I will get us back on track.
Ned: There anybody here knows anythin' 'bout unfusin' a bomb?
Everyone in the environment goes silent, then all say "What?!"
To be continued....
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