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Sitting alone.
Heart racing.
The panic rising in my chest, about to burst.
It'll flood every aspect of my life.
I close my eyes to prevent the inevitable.
I try to escape, to circumvent time.
I start to panic and I can feel the quickening of my soul,
my breathing shallow and my voice static unable to be heard,
With blocks of concrete on my feet I can't move past this moment
and my only option is to lean,
Lean into my emotions
Lean into my surroundings
Lean into the chaos that pervades my mind,
I lean but do not waiver,
My feet are firmly in place.
In this I find solace.
The very thing that prevents me from progressing forward is also the certainty that grounds me, stabilizes me, secures me.
I'm unwavering, I'm solid.
Nothing can knock me down.
I stand firm and true as the individual I was meant to be.
Am I able to surpass this moment... No,
but I'm also not regressing. Im planted,
Awaiting the growth of spirit and mind.
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