|
Cast:
LorDee (Loralie DeSilva) = Presidential hopeful
Skar = (Oscar Kilo, Pons's clone) Vice Presidential
Pons Maninoff = keeps Skar on a short leash
Ned Nuckledd = campaign worker
MauMau= media coordinator
Betty Biggins: = campaign manager
AA (Abecedari Ann) = Poet Laureate
RFC (Radical Female Character)
The scene opens in the alley behind Luigi's genuine Italian restaurant where the noisemaking group has been arrested and are being loaded into a forty-foot White House Riot Ride. Each person in the group is strapped into a seat and all face inward in a rotating oval configuration
They are placed boy-girl-boy-girl. LorDee, Skar, Betty, Pons, AA, Ned, a female passerby mistakenly grabbed, and MauMau.
LorDee : Line!
Stage Manager: At last! An arr --
LorDee : That's good. (clears her throat) At last! An arrest that can qualify me for presidential stature.
Skar : Trying for your Trump cred?
Betty : We are all innocent bystanders.
Pons :That should prove our guilt.
AA : I feel a p --
Ned : (to RFC) What's yer nim, darlin'?
RFC: Well, of course. That is as plain as the burned out cigar snuffing nose on Smokey the Snowman's ash can face.
MauMau: I think Pons drank from the big-boy bottle tonight.
LorDee : I think I want to have an affair with Maninoff.
Skar: Shhh. He'll hear you.
Betty : I think WE are already an item.
LorDee : Shhh. You'll hear me.
Ned : Are you drunk?
Betty : Are you drunk, he asked, already knowing she was....
Pons : I think Annie is makin' up a poem.
Ned : Where the buffalo roam?
RFC : And the pears and the cantaloupe play.
MauMau: Are you fellows singing, or are these the sounds of the end days?
LorDee : Skar seems to remind me of Pons a lot.
Skar: You know, of course, that I am Pons' clone.
LorDee : Do they look that much alike though?
Skar : We are practically identical.
Betty : Are you drunk, she asked, already knowing she was....
Pons : Betty is starting to repeat herself.
RFC : Said the local sprite to the visiting elf.
Ned: ...and the skies are knockaloudyalday.
MauMau: I guess I did drink the grape juice.
LorDee : I'm imagining becoming a mother in the future.
Skar : You mean like The Mother of the Nation?
LorDee: I was considering just a girl and boy.
Betty : The Mother of the Nation speaks...
Pons : ...callin' on her friends'n freaks.
Ned : ...airpits filt wit last year's leeks.
RFC : Wait! Armpits full of leeks?
MauMau: How do I find myself in situations like this?
LorDee : Why are we outside again?
Skar : Fresh air, and fresh air.
Betty : Aren't those two items the same thing?
Ned: I've bin list'n to the gals and they're talkin' about strange stuff.
Pons: ...we don't talk about strange enough...
RFC : Is it me, or are we speaking in rhyme -- ahh -- uff!
MauMau: Maybe I should run for President.
LorDee : Let's go back inside for a nightcap.
Betty: I think Ned wants to ask me something important.
Pons: He will say something like: Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.
Ned: I'm a wondrin if Betty would wanna grow old wit me.
RFC: I'll bet she wants at least half of that.
Pons: It's worth an ask, Cuz.
MauMau: I wonder if Betty would want to grow old with me.
LorDee : Shoot! The door is locked.
Skar : I'm going to talk to Ned.
Betty : Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?
Pons : What's a heaven fer?
RFC: I'll just say it: Robert Browning.
Ned: Why'm I in an alley?
MauMau: Someone suggested I should run for President. I agree.
LorDe : Someone suggested I should run for President. I agree.
Skar: Someone suggested I should run for President. I agree.
Betty :Someone suggested I should run for President. I agree.
Pons : Someone suggested I should run for President. I agree.
Ned : Why'm I in an alley?
:
To be continued...
|
