Excellent Pieces of the big picture. Age 15 Ghost : The Clue by Lea Tonin1

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language. Acid tears the cheeks repast  A trail of dissolution  This leads only to betrayal My heart's bewilderment   Molasses smiles the con's mask Entangles pretended warmth A promise of empty foundations Cracklin' whip their fool's arms   Soon she'll come, the circle to close To deliver that which they honed The popcorn pops, the movie plays I need only watch...   I called this one Gas lighter not because of a man...but because of my family.   Barracuda in human skin.   "A poem by Lea Tonin"   ***************************** "Oma, Opa after supper can we talk to you?" I asked. "Opa is deaf. He can't hear you. You just talk to me." Oma replied. We finished our dinner chatting about small things then cleaned up the kitchen. We sat down on the floor in the TV room waiting for Oma. "Ok, vhat you girls vhant to know?" Oma asked. "How did we get here Oma? I mean, I know how I got here but how did this whole thing come about? What's going on with Mom and Dad? What's going to happen to us?" I peppered her with questions when it might have been better to ask one at a time. She took it in stride though and began to answer. "You girls vill stay vith Oma and Opa for a vhile." "What's going on with Mom and Dad?" I asked again. "Ve not talk about Dat. It's neet good. Not necessary. You girls vill stay for a Vhile." Before I could protest she moved on to the next subject.  "Ve take you to the school on Monday" looking at me. "Ve go to church on Sundays. The Deacon sometimes comes for Sunday dinner. You vill be on your best behaviour. No buying or selling on Sundays. You vill have chores and curfew.  NO BOYS!!" I wonder where that one came from because I never thought about boys. That's a no-brainer for me. My grandmother avoided the big questions. Skillfully done too I might add.  She also refused to talk about our parents. Suddenly it clicked!  This was all planned!  This was all arranged!  Step-by-step, all arranged to get us here! Why though? What is going on? I don't know. I'm missing a large piece of this puzzle. What's the motivation behind this? What is happening?  I wrapped my arms around my knees and began to rock. Sort of a self-soothing action which also helped me think. The warning bells in my head were trying to crack my skull open, they were so loud. There was no truth in this family.  The truth is what they deemed it to be, not necessarily what is. Each with their own agenda, each with their own mission to get ahead.  One member I was watching liked the ladies and lots of them. He circled like a buzzard flying in concentric circles tightening that circle bit by bit until he was close enough to whisper in her ear. Offering a tray of sweet words in  slow seduction, I could see her beginning to relax, see the slow smile begin to spread across her face. He knew the moment he won her over. Soon they walked hand in hand together out the door. A manipulation, a means to an end.  It's the same approach. The same seduction. This time on a church reverend. Another member tried and tested the approach and it worked beautifully. The slow circle. The small little seduction a brush on the shoulder, compliments, a helping hand a small wooing of the churches reverend until all who were in the church were skillfully disarmed. That following Sunday all the churchs money was gone.  Gone. Then there was the agoraphobic pack rat a nice man just the same. Promises made to clean and redecorate his home. Friendship assured just give me access to your accounts. The gentleman did.  That gentleman has nothing left and by the same insidious plan of attack used over and over again.  I could lean back against the wall and watch the same game being deployed by the greedy.  Manipulation in all its forms happen everyday. One by I one could predict their next step. When they were going to succumb when the con had won. Circles within circles of people with their own agendas, pushing and moving to create the circumstances for whatever success they had in mind. I could see the same thing happening repeatedly, here, today.  Some are buzzards others are carcasses.  When you're sensitive, you learn to follow certain cues, body language that might be an old term, but it's highly practical for this purpose. Watching their eyes, do they flit back-and-forth?  Do they look you in the eye? Are they down or up. Study the attitude. Do they fidget? Are they slightly hunched over looking down holding their hands together? Or are they standing tall with the chest puffed up? If you know human behavior really well and the types of personalities that are out there, you can predict what's coming and along with messages given it provides the direction that's needed. "THAT'S IT!!" I thought. "They want to control our movements, our speech, our very thoughts! To watch us every minute of every day. What do we have that they want?  Is it our silence?  Are we kept hidden and out of the way? This is systematic.  A pattern of behaviour I've seen throughout the family and out into the world.  The con is on.  A game of who can fool who. They say the same things, comment on the same subjects and pass on the same gas lighter plan that never fails. Why fix what ain't broke? Circling in smaller circles, they zero in on the next target. I watched my Mother, my Stepfather, my uncles and my grandmother. These family members all behave in the exact same way.  They blow smoke up each other's ass then get offended when it starts to burn! Each using each other for their own purposes.  What is this family blight?  The disease of deception? Think it can all go away with the flick of a broom? Why keep us under wraps?  What is it they hope to accomplish that they're so willing to trash three girls to achieve it?  We has been controlled and manipulated as far back as I can remember. Isolated incidents over the years began to fall into place...start to make sense. Times we were told to leave the room, Nonsensical snippets of conversation now fit the puzzle board.  The reason behind the multiple name changes my mother arranged. The same social worker where no reports were noted. The isolation, the systematic abuse both physical and mental. The effort to make us believe we had false memories.  To make us believe we were mentally disturbed. Now all this corroborates this new revelation, this "ah ha" moment I'm having. Shocked and blown away by all these new pieces of information. I couldn't trust myself to sit still or behave properly. So I said good night to everyone and went to my room. Spinning tumbling brain not willing to believe what I already knew was real.  People who can behave in such a way and with their children. I didn't need to look at a textbook of laws to know it was wrong. I also knew that my naiveté in many ways had burst its borders and knowledge was taking away the cherubic face of innocence.  There can be no end until all the players in the game are exposed when their motivation shifts on the breeze and they run out of cards to play.  Then it's done...I'll say when.   *********************** Remembering those times of revelation and realizations when ends finally started to meet, things became known.   My eyes became brighter and wider. I knew more, I saw more and felt deception in the air..heavy like smog...my senses were...more.   Patience was the key.  No other way...to tame the beast. Author Notes The story is from an auto bio called "Ghost". It can be found on my portfolio if you wish to read feel free. With one small word of caution, some of these chapters are hard to read and contain violence. Reader discretion is advised.

© Copyright 2024. Lea Tonin1 All rights reserved. Lea Tonin1 has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.